Michael Scott: So that is how it ends. My last Dundies ever. I was hoping it'd be more like Godfather III. That wrapped up the whole franchise in an extremely satisfying way. But instead it is like Godfather I! That was very confusing, had maybe three big laughs. Oh, well.

Michael Scott: The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. When Larry King died they didn't just cancel his show. They got Piers Morgan to come in, and do his show, and that way Larry lives on.

Andy: I mean, we actually all really wanna thank you, for everything.
Darryl: [starts playing the tune to Seasons of Love while Andy sits down]
Michael Scott: Oh my God, something's happening.
Andy: [singing] Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! We actually sat down, and did the math.
All: Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! That's how many minutes, that you've worked here.
Pam: In costumes!
Jim: And impressions!
Toby: In meetings.
Erin and Kelly: And cups of coffee.
Kevin: For birthdays!
Stanley: More meetings and-
Erin & Angela: E-mail forms you made us read.
All: Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! That's like watching Die Hard, eighty thousand times!
Meredith: You hit me with your car!
Ryan: You helped me get off drugs!
Creed: I watch you when you sleep.
Oscar: I forgive you for kissing me!
All: Remember to call.
Darryl: You've got to remember to call.
All: Remember to call.
Andy: Love is a gift from up above.
All: Remember to call.
Kelly and Erin: Text or call or e-mail or call.
DeAngelo: Measure... Measure your life in love!
All: Remember to call.
DeAngelo: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All: Remember to call.
DeAngelo: Yeah, yeah. You've got to remember to call.
All: Remember to call.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: [choked up] Yeah, okay. [pauses, then takes a deep breath] Well this is gonna hurt like a mother[bleep].

Jim: I just don't understand the desire to push sweet potato fries on me. I just want regular fries.

Michael Scott: Stanley Hudson is a grump. Everybody knows that. But did you know, that Stanley Hudson is also the face of a debilitating disease known as diabetes? The Diabetes Award goes to Stanley Hudson! Come on up here, you sick bastard.
[aside to camera:]
Phyllis: I have diabetes too. You don't see me making a big deal about it.

Michael Scott: Congratulations!
Stanley: Have you lost your mind?! Get off my property before I call the police!

Michael Scott: Did you know herpes affects one in five sexually active adults? Pippy Longstocking, Ronald McDonald's wife, Ron Howard, Ron Weasley. What do they all have in common? Red heads. Erin Hannon, come on up here to receive your Cutest Red Head in the Office Award!
Meredith: This is bull! [throws her Dundie]

Michael Scott: FYI, tonight we will be hosting at Louie Volpies!
Kevin: Nice.
Phyllis: I love their bread sticks.
Pam: Oh, their bread sticks are like crack.
Ryan: I love when people say "like crack" when they've obviously never done crack.
Pam: Well, the bread sticks are like what then, Ryan? What can I use?
Ryan: I don't know. Something from your world. The breadsticks are like scrapbooking.
Pam: You're right, you're right. No, I'm a middle class fraud.

Michael Scott: Hey, Toby! You suck! [throwing eggs at his house]
DeAngelo: Is this an employee of ours?
Michael Scott: [giggles] Go, go, go, go, go!

Michael Scott: I've never seen this place in the daylight.
DeAngelo: This reminds me of Katrina.
Michael Scott: Here we go, alright got it? Are we set? Hello?
Meredith: I'm so busted! Walk of shame!
DeAngelo: Do you usually leave your door unlocked? And ajar?
Meredith: Oh, nice! I got a Dundie nomination!
Michael Scott: Yes, you did. That's right! Congratulations Meredith. Well, we should head out.
Meredith: No, no, no. You should stay. No, no, no. I have Vienna Sausages and I have napkins. Let me fix you breakfast!
DeAngelo: [whispers] I'm not going in there.