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‘Michael's Last Dundies’ Quotes

The Office: Michael's Last Dundies

721. Michael's Last Dundies

Aired April 21, 2011

As Michael hosts his last ever Dundies, he brings on DeAngelo as a co-host and teaches him the ropes.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: So that is how it ends. My last Dundies ever. I was hoping it'd be more like Godfather III. That rapped up the whole franchise in an extremely satisfying way. But instead it is like Godfather I! That was very confusing, had maybe three big laughs. Oh, well.


Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. When Larry King died they didn't just cancel his show. They got Piers Morgan to come in, and do his show, and that way Larry lives on.

Quote from Andy

Andy: I mean, we actually all really wanna thank you, for everything.
Darryl: [starts playing the tune to Seasons of Love while Andy sits down]
Michael Scott: Oh my God, something's happening.
Andy: [singing] Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! We actually sat down, and did the math.
All: Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! That's how many minutes, that you've worked here.
Pam: In costumes!
Jim: And impressions!
Toby: In meetings.
Erin and Kelly: And cups of coffee.
Kevin: For birthdays!
Stanley: More meetings and-
Erin & Angela: E-mail forms you made us read.
All: Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! That's like watching Die Hard, eighty thousand times!
Meredith: You hit me with your car!
Ryan: You helped me get off drugs!
Creed: I watch you when you sleep.
Oscar: I forgive you for kissing me!
All: Remember to call.
Darryl: You've got to remember to call.
All: Remember to call.
Andy: Love is a gift from up above.
All: Remember to call.
Kelly and Erin: Text or call or e-mail or call.
DeAngelo: Measure... Measure your life in love!
All: Remember to call.
DeAngelo: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All: Remember to call.
DeAngelo: Yeah, yeah. You've got to remember to call.
All: Remember to call.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: [choked up] Yeah, okay. [pauses, then takes a deep breath] Well this is gonna hurt like a mother[bleep].

Quote from Jim

Jim: I just don't understand the desire to push sweet potato fries on me. I just want regular fries.

Quote from Phyllis

Michael Scott: Stanley Hudson is a grump. Everybody knows that. But did you know, that Stanley Hudson is also the face of a debilitating disease known as diabetes? The Diabetes Award goes to Stanley Hudson! Come on up here, you sick bastard.
[aside to camera:]
Phyllis: I have diabetes too. You don't see me making a big deal about it.

Quote from Stanley

Michael Scott: Congratulations!
Stanley: Have you lost your mind?! Get off my property before I call the police!

Quote from Meredith

Michael Scott: Did you know herpes affects one in five sexually active adults? Pippy Longstocking, Ronald McDonald's wife, Ron Howard, Ron Weasley. What do they all have in common? Red heads. Erin Hannon, come on up here to receive your Cutest Red Head in the Office Award!
Meredith: This is bull! [throws her Dundie]

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Hey, Toby! You suck! [throwing eggs at his house]
DeAngelo: Is this an employee of ours?
Michael Scott: [giggles] Go, go, go, go, go!

Quote from Meredith

Michael Scott: I've never seen this place in the daylight.
DeAngelo: This reminds me of Katrina.
Michael Scott: Here we go, alright got it? Are we set? Hello?
Meredith: I'm so busted! Walk of shame!
DeAngelo: Do you usually leave your door unlocked? And ajar?
Meredith: Oh, nice! I got a Dundie nomination!
Michael Scott: Yes, you did. That's right! Congratulations Meredith. Well, we should head out.
Meredith: No, no, no. You should stay. No, no, no. I have Vienna Sausages and I have napkins. Let me fix you breakfast!
DeAngelo: [whispers] I'm not going in there.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Michael Scott: Anything can happen at the Dundies. They're like the Golden Globes but less mean. And I just want all of us to have a good time.
Dwight K. Schrute: Just a little announcement, folks. Remember, the Dundies is a black tie affair.
Michael Scott: Black tie optional.
Dwight K. Schrute: Every day is black tie optional.

Quote from Ryan

Michael Scott: FYI, tonight we will be hosting at Louie Volpies!
Kevin: Nice.
Phyllis: I love their bread sticks.
Pam: Oh, their bread sticks are like crack.
Ryan: I love when people say "like crack" when they've obviously never done crack.
Pam: Well, the bread sticks are like what then, Ryan? What can I use?
Ryan: I don't know. Something from your world. The breadsticks are like scrapbooking.
Pam: You're right, you're right. No, I'm a middle class fraud.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Michael Scott: So, as you know, the Dundies are my legacy. So I'm going to need to train a replacement. So this year, I have decided to have a co-host. And that person is... [Michael and DeAngelo drum roll] DeAngelo!
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Always the Padawan, never the Jedi.

Quote from Michael Scott

[on a pre-taped video:]
Erin: DeAngelo, Jo's on the phone for you.
DeAngelo: Hello?
Michael Scott: [Michael dressed as Jo, talking in a Southern accent] DeAngelo, we're in serious horse manure here! The Dundies are tonight! And we ain't got no host!
DeAngelo: Oh no!
Michael Scott: Luckily I have someone for you!
DeAngelo: Billy Crystal?
Michael Scott: Better.
DeAngelo: Neil Patrick Harris?
Michael Scott: He's in Little Shop of Horrors on Broadway. No, we need Michael Scott! The best darn Dundies host both sides of the Mississippi!

Quote from Michael Scott

DeAngelo: Ugh, I gotta find Michael Scott. And then I gotta, get him to the Dundies! [to Angela] Hey, can you help me find Michael Scott Angela?
Michael Scott: [as Angela] My boyfriend can, he's a state senator.
DeAngelo: Mmhmm.
Michael Scott: Oh wait, he can't help because that title has no meaning!
Oscar: Try Jim, DeAngelo, he'll be able to help.
DeAngelo: Jim. Do you know where I can find Michael Scott?
Michael Scott: [as Jim] I totally don't know where Michael is, dude. Hey you wanna listen to some records?
DeAngelo: No one is listening to me. I'm running out of time.
Michael Scott: [as Phyllis] Well, what are you talking about? [cracking noise] Oh! Oh! [falls onto the ground] I've fallen and I can't get up!
DeAngelo: Maybe I just need to look into my heart. [in the bathroom in front of the mirror] DeAngelo, where is Michael Scott? [his reflection in the mirror turns around, revealing him to be Michael]
Michael Scott: I'm here. In a good way! I've been here the whole time.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Which moves us to, Best Mom Dundie. I guess we all kinda consider her a mom around the office, Meredith Palmer!
Meredith: [jogs up and kisses Michael] Tell ya one thing, I'm not gonna be a good mom tonight. Whoo!

Quote from Ryan

Michael Scott: Year after year, I catch a lot of flak on this particular award, because year after year I present this award to a guy instead of a girl. Hottest in the office goes to, [Ryan stands up] Danny Cordray! [Ryan quickly sits] Danny couldn't be here tonight...
[aside to camera:]
Ryan: How do I feel about not winning Hottest in the Office this year? Um, I'm very relieved. How do you- How do you judge something like that? What is the criteria even? It's- It's so subjective.

Quote from Toby

DeAngelo: Every day, millions of Americans suffer from extreme repulsiveness. Someone in our midst, is bringing that problem to light. Toby Flenderson, please come up here and accept the Extreme Repulsiveness Award. Oh, that's so mean!
Michael Scott: No, it's not.
Oscar: It's his last Dundies.
Jim: You gotta play along, man.
Oscar: Come on, Toby.
Michael Scott: Here he comes. Alright, you deserve it!
Toby: I really disagree with this. I think it's kind of hateful. Though I am a little happy right now to have a platform to talk about the outcome of a case that I was recently a juror on: The Scranton Strangler. A man's being put to death. I was part of the verdict, and I'm not so sure he's guilty any more.

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