Dwight K. Schrute: What's this? What is this?
Jim: I don't know. It's on your desk.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, but who put it here? And for what purpose?
Jim: It was there when I sat down.
Dwight K. Schrute: "Happy Valentine's Day." It's me. I'm the Bobble Head. Yes!

Michael Scott: Well, here we go, on our way to New York. New York, New York. The city so nice, they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name.

Michael Scott: Here it is. The heart of New York City, Times Square. Named for the good times you have when you're in it. Most people, when they come to New York, they go straight to the Empire State Building. That's pretty touristy. I come here. Great places to eat. We have Bubba Gump shrimp, Red Lobster down there. You know, this is the heart of civilization, right here.

David: Okay, Michael.
Michael Scott: [clears throat] What is a business? Is it a collection of numbers and sales reports? Sure. But, as you know, David, and Jan, it is much more.
[Michael plays a video montage, "The Faces of Scranton", by Michael Scott set to U2's "With or Without You"]
Michael Scott: [on tape] Life moves a little slower in Scranton, Pennsylvania. And that's the way we like it. Because at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton, we're not just in the paper business. We're in the people business. Let's meet some of the folks who make the Scranton branch so special. This is Stanley Hudson, one of our talented salesmen. An African-American father of two, Stanley's dedication is no doubt one of the hallmarks of the foundation of the business we're hoping to build our basis on. And finally, Pam Beesly. Look at her. Look how cute. Not bad at all. As the receptionist, Pam is truly the gateway to our world. Well, I hope this gave you a little taste of what life is like here at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton. What it's like to walk a mile in Oscar's shoes, or try on Phyllis' pants. Next time you're in town, give us a call. Stop on by. I'm sure you'll be greeted by a big smile, and a "How're you doing, pal?" Maybe even one of Angela's famous brownies. And you'll know that you're home.

Michael Scott: The meeting isn't till 3:00. But I always like to come to New York a little bit early, and hit some of my favorite haunts. Like right here is my favorite New York pizza joint. And I'm going to go get me a New York slice.

Michael Scott: I would love to live in New York someday. It's a big dream of mine. Work at Corporate with Jan. That would be awesome. Go to Broadway shows, eat hot dogs. Scranton is great, but New York is like Scranton on acid. No, on speed. No, on steroids.

Oscar: The best present would be, you do a good job in front of the new CFO.
Michael Scott: Dude. I'm going to nail it. Me in New York? Oh, I own that city. "Fuggedaboutit!"

Jan: I just I just don't know what to do anymore, Michael. I mean, I'm probably gonna get fired.
Michael Scott: No, you're not.
Jan: Yeah, I- Michael, the CFO thinks that we slept together. Don't you understand? People get fired for much less. And I just can't believe that you told everybody. And we didn't even sleep together.
Michael Scott: Technically, we fell asleep in the same bed. So...
Angela: Oh, God. Michael, it was months ago. It was once. It's over. Do you understand?
Michael Scott: Yes, I'm sorry. I'll fix it. I will talk to him. I'll talk to David.
Jan: Surely, you cannot be serious.
Michael Scott: I am serious. "And don't call me Shirley." Airplane!

Pam: I really like Valentine's Day in this office. It's kind of like grade school. Everybody gives out little presents and stuff. Like, last year, Jim gave me this card with Dwight's head on it. It was horrifying and funny and...

Michael Scott: This is a business trip. I would have to be a raving lunatic to try to talk to Jan about what happened between us. Her words, not mine. She sent me an e-mail this morning. But it is Valentine's Day. It's New York. The City of Love.