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‘Casino Night’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Office: Casino Night

222. Casino Night

Aired May 11, 2006

As Michael hosts the annual charity casino night Dunder Mifflin, he manages to invite both his realtor, Carol, and Jan Levinson.

Quote from Darryl

Michael Scott: Why are you here?
Dwight K. Schrute: When Darryl was coming, you said you wanted me here for protection.
Michael Scott: Not. I said, not that.
Darryl: We just have a lot of stuff down there that could be stolen.
Michael Scott: That's ironic.
Darryl: What?
Michael Scott: That you are afraid.
Darryl: Why? 'Cause I'm from the hood?
Michael Scott: Dinkin flicka.
Darryl: Dinkin flicka.

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Quote from Darryl

Darryl: I taught Mike some phrases to help with his interracial conversations. You know, stuff like, "Fleece it out." "Going mach five." "Dinkin flicka." You know, things us Negroes say. Oh, yeah, I taught him a handshake, too.

Quote from Pam

Pam: [on the phone] Michael, Carole Stills for you.
Michael Scott: Who?
Pam: Carole Stills.
Michael Scott: Do I know a Carole Stills?
Pam: Your realtor.
Michael Scott: Oh, yeah, put her through. Hey, Carole, how goes the real estate biz? Is it real good?
Pam: It's still me.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: Sometimes I don't put Michael through until he's already said something. I look at it as a practice run for him. He usually does better on the second attempt.

Quote from Pam

Pam: [on the phone] About 10 minutes ago. No, I didn't know what to say. Yes, I know. I don't know, Mom, he's my best friend. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, I think I am. [Jim walks in] Um, I have to go. I will. Listen, Jim...
[Jim kisses Pam. As he does so, she moves closer and holds her hands around his face.]

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: Excuse me. How long is the wait for a table for two?
Dwight K. Schrute: I would never, ever serve you. Not in a million, billion years.
Pam: It's a nice tux.
Dwight K. Schrute: I know. It belonged to my grandfather. He was buried in it, so family heirloom.

Quote from Toby

Michael Scott: Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby? We're gonna-
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's... You know, there's gambling and alcohol, and it's in our dangerous warehouse and it's a school night. And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know, is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael Scott: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: We really don't do a lot of weddings. We actually don't play in public very often. We are all really hoping that Pam's wedding works out. This could be a turning point for the band.

Quote from Creed

Creed: Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago. You should see how many supplies I've taken from this place. Honestly, I love stealing things.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Hey, how's it going?
Pam: Good, especially after I took all your money in poker.
Jim: Yeah. Hey, can I talk to you about something?
Pam: About when you want to give me more of your money?
Jim: No, I-
Pam: Did you wanna do that now? We can go inside. I'm feeling kind of good tonight.
Jim: I was just- I'm in love with you.
Pam: What?
Jim: I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing, I know that. I just-
Pam: What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?
Jim: I just needed you to know. Once.
Pam: Well, I, um- I- I can't.
Jim: Yeah.

Quote from Pam

Pam: You have no idea-
Jim: Don't do that.
Pam: what your friendship means to me.
Jim: Come on. I don't wanna do that. I wanna be more than that.
Pam: I can't. I'm really sorry if you misinterpreted things. It's probably my fault.
Jim: Not your fault. I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I try not to think of it as lagging behind. It's more of a David-and-Goliath thing.
Jan: [on the phone] Yeah, but Well, the fact of the matter is that your branch is currently number four of the five branches that I oversee.
Michael Scott: Top 80%!
Jan: Michael? Yeah? You know that I'm very serious here.
Michael Scott: Jan, listen, I promise that I will kick it up a notch. Bam!
Jan: What?
Michael Scott: Emeril. Oh, actually, while I have you, not that I have you or have ever had you, but we're having our Casino Night tonight and I think everyone would love to see their fearless leader here.
Jan: I thought that you were their fearless leader.
Michael Scott: I am, but you are the Eva Peron to my Cesar Chavez.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief, since apparently it doesn't exist. I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim: Oh, I think you mean the aid to Afghanistan.
Michael Scott: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Pam: Afghani.
Michael Scott: What?
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: That's a dog.
Pam: No, that's Afghan.
Michael Scott: That's a shawl.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael Scott: No. Humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
Jim: Guys, the Afghanistananies.
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? No. No. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.

Quote from Toby

Michael Scott: What are you?... That's insane.
Toby: I have good cards.
Michael Scott: Well, Toby, I went all-in on the first hand, so doesn't that tell you that I might have good cards, too? So, don't be stupid. Just take it back.
Croupier: No, I'm sorry. He can't, sir. He's gone all-in.
Michael Scott: Okay, all right, whatever.
Croupier: Flip them.
Michael Scott: You really su... Screwed that up.
[aside to camera:]
Toby: I don't really play cards, but I'm not gonna lie to you. It felt really good to take money from Michael.

Quote from Angela

Angela: We are giving money that has been gambled. Why don't we just deal drugs or prostitute ourselves, and donate that money to charity?

Quote from Creed

Bob Vance: Excuse me. Big moment. The evening's chip leader and winner of this beautiful mini-refrigerator courtesy of Vance Refrigeration, Creed Bratton, Dunder Mifflin.
Creed: Thanks. I never owned a refrigerator.

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