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‘Customer Survey’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

The Office: Customer Survey

507. Customer Survey

Aired November 6, 2008

Dwight and Jim suspect there's something amiss when their customer surveys are negative. Meanwhile, Pam and Jim spend the day in close communication with the help of in-ear Bluetooth devices.

Quote from Darryl

Darryl: I was there. That dude is not engaged. I'm not a big believer in therapy, but I'll go into my own pockets to cover his co-pay.

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Quote from Angela

Angela: OK, fine. You can have your tent, but only if it's in a field. A hand-plowed field.
Andy: Done, and done-er.
Angela: There has to be a barn that's old enough that you can see the stars through the roof slats when you lay on your back. And antique tools to look at when you roll over.
Andy: Do you have a specific place in mind?
Angela: But anything within a 5 to 8 mile radius is acceptable.
Andy: On it!

Quote from Jim

Michael Scott: Jimbo, let's do this thang.
Jim: That is me. Wish me luck.
Dwight K. Schrute: No way.
Pam: [on Bluetooth speaker] Good luck.
Jim: Thanks.
Dwight K. Schrute: Didn't say anything.
Pam: Love you.
Jim: Love you too.
Dwight K. Schrute: What do you think I am saying to you?
Jim: Not talking to you.

Quote from Andy

Andy: I found it. I found the perfect place. A local bed and breakfast on a 60-acre beet farm. And even better, I have an in with the owner. Oh, yeah, we work together. It's Dwight Schrute. As in Schrute Farms.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Congratulations on choosing Schrute Farms for your wedding.
Andy: No, we haven't decided on anything yet. We're still reviewing some options, and it's gonna come down to the numbers.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, then, why don't you look over some of our materials? While I describe to you the Excalibur package. In addition to the breathtaking natural beauty and smell of Schrute Farms, I can promise you that our grounds can be catered to fit your exact specifications. I will work tirelessly for you over the coming months, and be at your constant disposal. Please feel free to call or stop by any time of the day or night.
Andy: That's very generous.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well you, my good friend, have nothing more to worry about. This wedding is officially out of your hands.
Andy: Oh, thank the good lord. Deal! What are we talking, price wise?
Dwight K. Schrute: You already said deal.
Angela: Pay him whatever he wants.
Andy: Can't argue with that. Dwight, you're gonna make us so happy.

Quote from Jim

Pam: [on Bluetooth speaker] What was that?
Jim: Wow. That was Dwight. He seems upset about something.
Pam: Describe him exactly. What color mustard is his shirt? Yellow or Dijon?
Jim: It is more of a spicy brown, actually.

Quote from Jim

Michael Scott: Now, Jim is going to be the client. Dwight, you're going to have to sell to him without being aggressive, hostile, or difficult. Let's go.
Dwight K. Schrute: All right, fine. [clears throat] Ring.
Jim: Hello.
Dwight K. Schrute: Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from the Dunder Mifflin paper company.
Jim: Oh, that's great 'cause I need paper.
Dwight K. Schrute: Excellent, then you are in luck because we are having a limited-time offer only on everything.
Jim: Wow. This is my lucky day.
Michael Scott: Ask him his name.
Dwight K. Schrute: What's your name, sir?
Jim: I am Bill Buttlicker.
Dwight K. Schrute: Really? That's your real name?
Jim: How dare you? My family built this country, by the way!
Michael Scott: Be respectful, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes, Michael.
Jim: Would you hold on a second? That's my other line. Hello. [laughing] No, I'm just on the phone with this stupid salesman. He's so dumb. I'm probably just gonna keep him on line forever and not buy anything. Okay.

Quote from Andy

Andy: I found the best "tentist" on the east coast. He personally tented Giuliani's first and third weddings. And I got him. I got him!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Kelly Kapoor is our dusky, exotic, customer service rep. And once a year she will contact our clients and find out how happy they are with our salespeople. Sort of a Kapoor's list. Schindler's list parody. That's not appropriate.

Quote from Jim

Jim: I need a decent bonus because I'm actually in the process of buying my parents' house, so that they can retire. And if history tells us anything, it's that you can't go wrong buying a house you can't afford.

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