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‘Paper Airplane’ Quotes

The Office: Paper Airplane

920. Paper Airplane

Aired April 25, 2013

Nellie organizes a paper airplane contest in the warehouse. Meanwhile, Jim and Pam try out new techniques they learned in couples counseling, and Andy gets an acting job.

Quote from Erin

Erin: Growing up in an orphanage, you have to fight other kids. For everything. Snacks, pillows, parents. I'm kinda worried about Pete seeing that side of me. I once ripped greedy Susan's pigtail right off her head. Just for a handful of Crispix.

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Quote from Kevin

Kevin: I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep making planes until one of them flies. Like Wilbur and Orville Redenbacher.

Quote from Andy

Andy: "Be careful of that beaker, it contains dangerous acid!"
Darryl: It does not say dangerous. And there's no exclamation point.
Andy: Well, I'm just trying to bring some life to it.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Last week I got an agent and, uh, this week I got a movie. HRPDC chemical handling protocols. It's gonna be seen by tons of workers in the industrial chemical community. One of whom could have a cousin whose brother is Brad Pitt. And then boom, next thing you know, I'm in Moneyballs Two.

Quote from Nellie

Nellie: Hey. Day two. Drama in the warehouse skies. This is Robert from Weyer-Hammer Paper, who will be joining us to judge the final rounds.
Robert: Who's pumped for the quarter finals, huh?
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm pumped!
Erin: Clark's a dead man.
Robert: Alright. Sounds like somebody wants to walk away with this. [holds up a large check for $2,000]
Angela: Oh my god!
Group: Whoa.
Angela: Nellie you didn't tell us we could win money.
Nellie: Oh, yes I did, I told you all. It was.. Um, cause that's an awful lot of money for me to forget.
Stanley: Not one of us remembers you saying anything about two thousand dollars.
[aside to camera:]
Nellie: I forgot. I completely forgot. But at least now that large piece of cardboard that man was carrying around makes sense.

Quote from Angela

Angela: Me? Oh, I'm fine. I mean, sure, times are leaner now that I'm separated from the Senator. But my new studio apartment is just fine for me, and Philip, and Tinky, and Crinklepuss, and Bandit 2, and Pawlick Baggins, and Lady Aragorn and their 10 kittens. I had a chance with Dwight, but I didn't take it. And if I went back now, when I'm broke and he just inherited a farm, I'd be one of those gold-digging tramps you read about that try to bag a farmer.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Esther: Is there a reason that we're excited for that little woman?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes. I pity her. She was recently in a situation where she could have had it all, and instead she lost everything.
Esther: Oh, is she a gambler?
Dwight K. Schrute: In a way. But not in a stand up and cheer kind of way, like the song.
Esther: Hmm. That is sad.

Quote from Angela

Angela: I was disappointed in Dwight today. He showed a weakness that was unbecoming. Even if he did do it for me. I don't need pity and I don't need charity. I have my dignity and that's enough. And as long as I have that, I'll be okay. [Angela is shown stealing rolls of toilet paper from the office]

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Yesterday was the first round of a branch wide paper airplane contest. It was being sponsored by Weyer-Hammer Paper in an effort to get us to sell more of their new product Airstream Deluxe A4, the Cadillac of paper. It's not so easy on the environment, if you know what I mean. [whispers] Practically made of plastic.

Quote from Nellie

Nellie: We started with sixteen brave aviators. Some use skill, others relied on showmanship, others seem not to comprehend what a paper airplane is. And of course, there was the odd moment of heartbreak and disaster.
[flashback:]
Toby: Hey, I left my glasses down here somewhere. Crossing through, beep beep. [Pam's plane hit Toby in the eye]
Toby: Ow! Ow!
Pam: I didn't see you! You should have yelled "Crossing!"
Toby: [crying] I'm sorry!
Pam: Okay, so is that my spot?
[back:]
Nellie: We are now down to an elite eight. Well, seven and Toby.

Quote from Andy

Andy: Heads up everyone. If you really need something from me today, let's get it done tomorrow. Carla Fern got me a gig.
Pam: Hey!
Andy: Yeah.
Stanley: Who's Carla Fern?
Andy: Who is Carla Fern? Well... Wow. Uh, she's my agent and my drill sergeant. And one of my best friends. Oh, and Oscar, I already figured it out. If I have to get emotional in the film, I'm just going to think about you getting dumped by the Senator.
Oscar: Why wouldn't you use your own life? Erin just dumped you.
Andy: Little raw. Not cool, Oscar.
Oscar: But you just...
Andy: Not cool.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I offered myself to Angela and she turned me down. If she changes her mind, the next move is hers. I'm with Esther now. She's younger than Angela, sturdier, more comfortable with the scent of a manured field. Let's be honest. When it came to manured fields, Angela was at best indifferent.

Quote from Darryl

Carla: Are you in that paper documentary too?
Darryl: Yep.
Carla: You need an agent?
Andy: No! He's- I mean, you've never acted in anything before. He's just my entourage.
Darryl: I was in The Whiz in high school.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, Esther.
Esther: Hey.
Dwight K. Schrute: What are you- [Esther kisses him] You're here early.
Esther: Yeah, I plucked the chickens extra fast 'cause I knew I was seeing you tonight. There might just be a little feather in your nuggets or a little bit of meat inside of your pillow.
Dwight K. Schrute: I like a little feather in my nuggets.

Quote from Andy

Director: So what you're gonna do then is come over here to the eye washing station and then just kinda flush out your eyes. You know, get the chemicals out. Alright?
Andy: So I just lean over this thing and then you'll add the water special effect later?
Director: What water special effect?
Producer: Yeah, yeah just hold your lids open with one hand and let the stream bathe your eyeballs.
Andy: I'm not comfortable doing my own stunts. I'll get nude if you want me to, I'll go full Lena Dunham but I-
Director: Dude, we don't need you to go nude, okay? So just do the eyewash thing, okay? That's all we're asking you.

Quote from Creed

Creed: Two grand huh? I know a guy who can turn that into eight hundred dollars. And it's me.


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