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‘Cafe Disco’ Quotes

The Office: Cafe Disco

527. Cafe Disco

Aired May 7, 2009

To improve his employees' morale, Michael turns his old office space into a cafe disco.

Quote from Stanley

Stanley: I would like the memory of a day uninterrupted by this nonsense.

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Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Guys, I believe that I have figured out what is up your butts. There's no reason to be scared. The bad man is gone. Charles is gone.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Charles really did a number on these guys. They are way too focused on work. When I was in charge, this place was like Dave and Buster's. People just hanging out, having, fun, eating apps. I don't know. It's like... Dave died or something.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Now I know what the founders of Philip Morris felt like. You just want to give people a smooth, fun way to relax and suddenly you're just some terrible monster.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I still have the lease on the Michael Scott Paper Company, so occasionally I will sneak down here for a little coffee and dancing. I actually dance all the time. Tip-toeing around corporate, it is a ballet. When I am breaking all the rules, I am break dancing. And "expresso".

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Michael Scott: Phyllis, we're going to put you in here. Dwight's going to take care of you.
Phyllis: What? No. I thought we were going to the hospital.
Dwight K. Schrute: You want to get sick you go to the hospital.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: This remedy has been passed down in my family for generations. And it always works. My grandfather was told that Diamond Dancer would never race again. They were wrong. He came in 9th in the Apple Creek Derby and his jerky came in 3rd the following year. A majestic beast. So fast. So tender.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: It's just, we need to get her out of here because no one is going to want to go in there with a woman writhing around on the floor. Wait, wait, wait. But most importantly we need to get her some medical attention. ASAP. Stat.

Quote from Angela

Angela: Look, I hate to be "that" person but I just don't like the general spirit of music.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I know. I know, Angela. A lot of people doubted Cafe Disco at first, but it is a magical place. You have to give it a chance. If these walls could talk they would say, " This is a magical place. You are safe here. We are talking walls. We're not going to eat you."

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: At Dunder-Mifflin there is a very strict no lunch with the boss policy. And I don't know who instituted it. I think it started right after my predecessor stepped down. But at the Michael Scott Paper Company, I really enjoyed having lunch with Pam and Ryan everyday. So, rules be damned, I wanna have lunch with these people.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Okay. Anyone? Anyone? At all? Accounting? I am accounting on you to go to lunch with me.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Erin: Hi, guys. How you doing?
Dwight K. Schrute: Erin, how many times do I have to tell you? It is not necessary for you to ask us how we are doing every time you interact with us.
Erin: Right. I'm sorry.
Dwight K. Schrute: [sighs] Now, how can I help you?
Erin: Did somebody here leave a map in the printer to Youngstown, Ohio?
Dwight K. Schrute: Attention, office. Who here is planning a trip to Youngstown, Ohio? I will take your silence to mean that you are all hiding something. This location is the Superior Court...
Pam: So someone is going to a court. Big deal.
Dwight K. Schrute: It is a big deal. Cause there's only a handful of reasons why someone would ever go to a courthouse in Ohio and not be charged with a crime. To claim an inheritance from a deceased relative. To obtain a learner's permit at age 14 and a half instead of 15. Erin, let me see your birth certificate.
Erin: Sure.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Daddy's here and daddy is going to take care of you.
Oscar: Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.
Michael Scott: I am your Big Daddy and I am gonna kiss da boo boo.
Andy: Wittle Andy is afwaid.
Michael Scott: Andy's afwaid?
Andy: Yes.
Michael Scott: Are you all afwaid?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Michael Scott: Daddy's here for you. My wittle angels.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Michael Scott: Oh, no, no, no. This is no good.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah. Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries.
Michael Scott: I don't need a history lesson, okay?
Dwight K. Schrute: What do you think history is?

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party.

Quote from Creed

Creed: Boss, this used to hang from my windshield but it belongs in here.
Michael Scott: Hey, thank you, Creed. You're really getting this place.
Creed: No problem. I'll just have no idea who's driving behind me now.

Quote from Angela

Michael Scott: Hey! Hey! Angela, no! No cleaning up!
Angela: You are forcing me to be down here. Am I not allowed to have some fun?

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Phyllis: Wanna dance, Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Ordinarily, I would say no but you need to move to reduce lactic acid build-up. Also, this song is fantastic.
Bob Vance: Mind if I steal my wife?
Dwight K. Schrute: You can't steal what is legally your property.


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