Mark: Hi, I'm Mark.
Pam: Hi, Pam, hello.
Mark: I'm the horrible boss around here, but please don't hire Jamie Foxx to kill me. D'Jango! I don't agree with the use of the "N" word in that movie. It's, it's too soon.
Pam: I'm Pam Halpert.
Mark: Oh, hi. They call me Marky Mark around here, because here at Simon Realty, we are one funky bunch! Come on you guys, raise the roof when I say that! I- What are you all temps again today? Let's go, Gangnam style. [laughs] He's heard Gangnam style, he knows it. Right? That's cause he's American. This is Carl. Uh, he's from here. He's from our neck of the woods. But Gangnam style is great, isn't it?
[aside to camera:]
Pam: Oh my god. He's Michael Scott!

Dwight K. Schrute: [on the phone] No, don't just let her eat the grass, she'll puke it right up. Okay, just put out two bowls and see which feed she prefers. I'm sorry to be taking up so much of your precious time, Mose, but she's your aunt too. Fine. I'll see what I can do.

Pam: Jim set up a job interview for me today in Philly. It's, um, with a real estate company, which is a great fit for me because I live in a house and I know what a bathroom is. [laughs] I'm sorry, I am just very nervous because honestly this is all moving a lot faster than I expected. And, and because my resume can fit on a post-it note.

Mark: [showing Pam around the Simon Property office] This is not an office so much as it is a uh, rec room with a bunch of computers in it. Frankly, if I had my way, I'd toss the computers in the gar-bage. But unfortunately we use them for practically everything we do. So that ain't gonna happen. He's a temp, don't worry about him. Alice! Alright, stay awake, okay?

Mark: [to Pam] My aunt Joan. Oh, uh well, she uh, she worked here before I did, so there's no nepotism involved. In fact, to be honest with you I'm probably a little harder on her than I am on the rest of these people. Can you not work on this... Work on this month's, okay, Nana? Uh, when I say "chillax", people chillax. Watch this. Hey Roger, chillax! Must not have heard me.
Roger: No. I heard you.
Mark: Step this way for The Spanish Inquisition! [laughs] Kids in the Hall. Just, it's not high pressure. Just a little Coffee Talk. Ok? Like butta. Come on in here. Mike Myers.
Pam: [mouths] Oh my god!

Andy: Thank you! Thanks. Thanks a lot. Really appreciate it. You guys are supposed to have my back, okay? Instead you let a guy named Plop steal my girlfriend.
Meredith: Hey, boss, I did everything I could. I invited Pete out for drinks, I emailed him shots of my junk....
Andy: Ugh.
Meredith: Kid doesn't have a romantic bone in his body.

Nellie: Well, the good news is no more guilty conscience. At least you know he is the strangler. The proof is in the grip. Did they say when the vocal cords would heal? [Toby nods in his neck brace] One week? [Toby shakes head] Okay, two weeks? [Toby nods] Okay. You offered your neck in search of the truth. The proud neck of justice. Isn't that the expression? No. Well, anyway, it was, it was very brave. It really was quite brave.

Alice: So you're dating a secretary now? Moving up in the world, Pete.
Pete: She's nice to me.
Alice: How's that P.E. degree coming? That's what he wanted to be. His dream in college was to be a gym teacher.
Erin: Well, guess what? He could still be a gym teacher. In fact, we could all still be gym teachers, so, let's-
Gabe: I technically cannot. I don't have the lung capacity to blow a whistle.
Pete: Oh, my God.

Alice: I'm here from BCI Marketing Consultants to meet with Andrew Bernard.
Erin: Yes. The consultant. Andy said you can start right away so I will take you to your desk.
Alice: Okay, great. Thanks.
Meredith: Fresh meat! Fresh meat! [Making kissing noises]
Erin: Just keep walking, don't give her anything. She'll take it and run. I'm Erin by the way.
Alice: Nice to meet you. Cute sweater.
Erin: Oh, thanks. Your shoes match. I'm bad at small talk.

Andy: Darryl, Clark, Toby, Kevin, Plop, take a knee. Alright, you guys are gonna think I'm psycho again. Uh, couldn't shake this feeling that Erin's dating someone so I looked at her phone.
Darryl: Man, you can't do that stuff. You'll only find pain. When my ex-wife got into my e-mail account, she was devastated.
Andy: Too late. I found out she's been texting a guy named Pete. Does anybody know a Pete?
Kevin: Pete...
Clark: Hmm.
Kevin: Pete what?
[aside to camera:]
Pete: It just occurred to me that Andy has been calling me Plop for so long, he forgot my real name. Which is Pete.