David Wallace Quotes Page 1 of 2

Quote from Livin' the Dream

David: This isn't going to be an easy conversation. I told Andy that he was on very thin ice when he snuck away from three months to the Caribbean. Then last week he used company money to buy a top-of-the-line photo printer. In his words, "The kind that's good for head shots." And yesterday, he asked me to pay for cheek implants. Claimed it's gonna boost office morale. Now, he's a good guy. But honestly, at some point, the ice gets too thin and you fall through. And that is when you get fired.

Quote from Business Trip

David: I was happy to send Michael on this trip. He's been feeling pretty down since we had to transfer Holly up to New Hampshire and... But this little perk really seemed to turn him around. And it's pretty tough to find somebody who wants to go up to Winnipeg mid-November.

Quote from Whistleblower

David: I may have heard from an old client, and I may have immediately started spreading the news to other clients and potential clients, yeah. But I'm not here to talk about that. I am here to talk about Suck It. Suck it-

Quote from Sabre

David: Hey, you know, if you want, I'm sure I can get Arnie on board if you wanted to join us for Suck It. Work together again.
Michael Scott: The what?
David: Suck It. That's what it's called.
Michael Scott: Oh, okay.
David: Huh? Catchy. Kids'll love it.
Michael Scott: Like it.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: There are very few things that would make me not want to team up with David Wallace. And Suck It is one of 'em.

Quote from Livin' the Dream

David: Sensei, do you generally do house calls like this?
Sensei: Uh, you can just call me Billy. And no. No, but Dwight insisted. He wanted to receive his black belt in the place he loves most in the world.
David: He said that? He's an odd guy, isn't he?
Sensei: Yes. Irritating, also yes. But I gotta hand it to him, he's one of the most tenacious and determined men I've ever met.

Quote from Company Picnic

David: I'm sorry, this certainly wasn't the time or the place to announce this sort of thing, but there have been talks about closing the Buffalo branch.
Woman from Buffalo: And?
David: We're- We're closing the Buffalo branch.
Man from Buffalo: [over shouts of protest] You've got to be kidding me! You've got to be kidding me! We're the best branch in the company! I can't believe it.
[Michael and Holly bow]

Quote from Sabre

Michael Scott: Wow. Oh, yummy. You have got the life, my friend.
David: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Can I just stay here and never go back?
David: Things not going so well there?
Michael Scott: Oh, man. How much time do you have?
David: I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday.

Quote from Sabre

David: I want to tell you about a business idea I have.
Michael Scott: Okay.
David: Okay? You know how kids leave their toys everywhere? Okay. So this is a vacuum. It's like a shop-vac type of thing. [vacuum noise] Teaches kids how to pick up their own toys. Right? Baseball gloves, hackysacks, drumsticks. [sucking noise] Picks it up!
Michael Scott: So the kid's making the noise to pick it up?
David: No. No, no, no. That's the- That's the vacuum noise.
Michael Scott: Oh, okay.
David: You- You don't like it?
Michael Scott: No, I think it is-
David: No, it's okay. Another guy from Dunder Mifflin, Arnie from Research, he's gonna draw up the prototype. And, uh... It's like shop-vac. [sucking noise] Did I say that?
Michael Scott: Yep.

Quote from The Duel

David: Here's the thing. Michael is doing something right. And in this economic climate, no method of success can be ignored. It's not really a time for executives to start getting judgmental now. It's Hail Mary time.
Michael Scott: Hey, what say we order up some pasta?
David: What say we do.

Quote from Livin' the Dream

David: You can stay on as a salesman, Andy.
Andy: Thank you.

Quote from Company Picnic

David: Welcome to the 43rd Annual Company Picnic, everybody. Thanks for being here. Now, a couple of employees have volunteered to entertain us with a song.
Michael Scott: [shouting] Uh, it's a sketch now.
David: Okay, introducing Scranton's Michael Scott performing with Nashua's Holly Flax! I have not seen this.

Quote from Secret Santa

David: [on the phone] Listen, I shouldn't tell you this, but the company has a buyer. The board will have no choice to approve. They are going to clean house.
Michael Scott: What does that mean?
David: I'll be fired.
Michael Scott: Well, can't Alan protect you?
David: Alan will be out, too. All of us.
Michael Scott: All of us?
David: Goodbye, Michael.

Quote from Sabre

Mrs. Wallace: Hey, honey. How's your day going? Did you do anything cool?
David: Uh, no, sweetie. I just hung out.
Mrs. Wallace: Oh, 'cause I saw you had shoes on, so I didn't know if you did anything.
David: No. Just hanging out, honey. You remember Michael.

Quote from Sabre

Michael Scott: Sabre is changing everything. Site blockers. They don't let us use cups. So I started thinking, who could handle this? Who would know what to do? David Wallace would know what to do. What should I do, David Wallace?
David: I don't know. I mean, what can you do?
Michael Scott: Exactly. What are you thinking?
David: I- I- It's a tough one.
Michael Scott: It is a tough one.
David: I don't have any ideas for you there.
Michael Scott: Yeah. But one would be good.

Quote from Sabre

David: [singing and playing keyboard as his son, Teddy, plays the drums] Well, it's a mess, what a mess. What you gonna do? You're going to take out your Suck It and you suck it. Suck it. Yeah, take out your Suck It and you suck it.
Teddy: Suck it!
David: Yeah!
Teddy: Suck it!
David: Yeah!
Teddy: Suck it!
David: Yeah! Take out the Suck It and we'll...
Teddy: Suck it!
David: Yeah!
Teddy: Suck it!
David: Yeah!
Both: Take out my Suck It and we'll suck it.
David: Yeah! Teddy!
Teddy: Yeah.