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Season 7, Episode 9 -  Aired November 18, 2010

After Ryan talks his coworkers into investing in his start-up, everyone except Michael gets nervous about losing their money. Meanwhile, Dwight relives a piece of his childhood when he opens a Hay Place on Schrute Farm.

Quote from Stanley

Stanley: Yes, I have a dream. And it's not some M.L.K. Dream for Equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there's a button that I can press, and it'll launch that lighthouse into space.


Quote from Jim

[Jim sits at his desk and phones Gabe with his doctored audio of Jo ready:]
Gabe: [answering phone] Gabe Lewis.
Jo: Now listen here, Gabe, you're too fat. No one's gonna like you if you're too fat. I made some changes to my book. See if you like them.
Gabe: Well, Jo-
Jo: Now, I love reading and I hate being interrupted. Shut up and listen, you gay bastard. Chapter One. I was born, not into luxury, nor poverty. But into adversity, and for that, I thank the Lord. My father was a man. That's all we can know. After I learned to ride a bike, there was no stopping me. I would ride up Magnolia Street and down Azalea Lane. Which would later become my paper round.
Jim: [opens door to Gabe's office] All right, good night, Gabe. Just wanted to say thanks again. 'cause I really think I made good use of my day. Oh, sorry.
Jo: I have always been a fighter. And fate has obliged me with plenty of battles, the first being a hard-

Quote from Gabe

Gabe: Is this job really about the money for you, Jim? I mean, isn't this where you fell in love?
Jim: A commission cap takes away my incentive to sell. So you realize I now have no reason to work, right?
Gabe: When you're dealing with a large organization, sometimes you have to put up with policies you don't like. I wish my gym didn't allow full nudity in the locker room. Okay, seeing these old guys walking around naked feels almost passive-aggressive. But I deal with it. 'Cause it's policy. See what I mean?
Jim: Nope.
Gabe: Nudity makes me uncomfortable.
Jim: Okay.
Gabe: My gym allows it. I wish they didn't, but it's policy. So I respect it, and I just keep a low- You know, I look away. Think about your commission cap as a naked old man in a gym locker room.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Ah, this is good hay. Yeah, this is the good stuff. Mattress quality.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Every fall, my Uncle Eldred used to build us a maze out of hay bales for us kids to play in. We called it "Hay Place". Eldred Called it "Hay World". Eventually lawyers were brought in. But that's all behind us. Hay Place lives on!

Quote from Jim

Jim: I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding Cece, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest, if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob, I can pretty much sell anything. [laughs]

Quote from Ryan

Ryan: Hey, I'm WUPHF.
Michael Scott: [wearing Ryan's glasses] I'm Facebook.
Ryan: What's up Facebook?
Michael Scott: I sent you a Facebook message yesterday, I still haven't heard anything back.
Ryan: You should've sent me a WUPHF.
Michael Scott: A what?
Ryan: When you send a WUPHF, it goes to your home phone, Email, Facebook, Twitter and home screen. All at the same time.
Ryan and Michael:!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Hello.
Ryan: Hey. It's an ambush here. Nobody here believes in this company. Will you tell them they're wrong?
Darryl: It's not that we don't believe in the company, We don't believe in you.
Andy: All those in favor of selling, say aye.
Michael Scott: I. Do not agree to sell, which is to say nay.
Darryl: What is wrong with you? What happened to you in high school?
Stanley: Michael, are you that blind?
Michael Scott: I'm not blind! I know exactly who he is. He is selfish and lazy and image-obsessed, and he is a bad friend. And he's also clever. And he shoots incredibly high. And he may just make it. But you know what? Even if he doesn't, I would rather go broke betting on my people, than get rich all by myself, on some island like a castaway. And there is no middle ground.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Hello! Welcome to Hay Place! A place for hay.
Guy: Don't forget to make a broom.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, and the Petting Zoo closes at 2:00, and the Goat Roast is at 3:00. Come on in, enjoy!

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Hey kids, was that fun?
All: Yeah!
Dwight K. Schrute: All Right!
Little Boy: I wanna go on it again.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, I bet you do. You know what? When I was a little kid, they couldn't get me off the hayride! But it's gonna cost you three more bucks.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Wow, this brings back memories. Hay stacking, hay throwing... and at the end of it all, one lucky boy would be crowned Hay King. I always wanted to be Hay King. The world shines on Mose.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Little Girl: I found the needle in the haystack!
Dwight K. Schrute: Hey, congratulations! Do you know what your prize is?
Little Girl: I don't know.
Dwight K. Schrute: Nothing. Life Lesson: Some tasks are not worth doing.

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