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‘Two Weeks’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

The Office: Two Weeks

521. Two Weeks

Aired March 26, 2009

As Michael works his two weeks' notice after handing in his resignation, he manages to goof around even more than usual. Meanwhile, Pam attempts to assemble a new photocopier.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: You want me to translate the German instructions for you?
Pam: No, I'm sure they're pretty much the same as the English instructions.
Dwight K. Schrute: Pfft. Typical American arrogance that got us involved in a war we never should have been in.
Pam: What?
Dwight K. Schrute: World War II.

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Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Pam: Well, fine. Do the German instructions say what this is supposed to do?
Dwight K. Schrute: Deutsch. Let me see here. It is either an incense dispenser or a ceremonial sarcophagus.
Pam: Huh.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: My German is pre-industrial and mostly religious.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: Have you called headhunters?
Michael Scott: Any good headhunter knows that I am available.
Dwight K. Schrute: Any really good headhunter will storm your village with overwhelming force and cut off your head with a knife.
Jim: Right, 'cause that's what we're talking about.

Quote from Oscar

Oscar: I love a good quitting story. It makes me feel like I have control over my own life. Gives me hope. Maybe I'll have one of my own someday. But I dream. So...

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: What am I gonna do? I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I'm gonna stay up all day. I'm gonna sleep up all night. I'm gonna give it a, "Oh! Hey! Ho!", and I'm gonna stop worrying about calories.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: You know what? I had a great time at prom. And no one said "yes" to that, either.

Quote from Jim

Jim: About a week ago, Michael gave his 2 weeks' notice. And, surprisingly, there is a big difference between Michael trying and Michael not trying.

Quote from Toby

Toby: Michael's like a movie on a plane. It's not great, but it's something to watch. And then when it's over, you're like, "How much time is left on this flight? Now what?"

Quote from Pam

Pam: I am at a crucial point where I have sunk four hours into that copier. And I am not gonna let it beat me like that wireless router did.

Quote from Michael Scott

Oscar: You put a note in my food?
Michael Scott: I made it sterile.
Oscar: Just saying "sterile" doesn't make it so.

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