Phyllis Lapin Quotes Page 1 of 8

Quote from Casual Friday

Pam: [laughs] Boscov's at the Steamtown Mall?
Phyllis: It sure looked good on the mannequin.
Pam: Well, you have good taste.
Phyllis: Well, thanks. I sure wish I had more time to talk to my clients, though.
Pam: What?
Phyllis: Isn't that what you said to a bunch of my clients when you were stealing them? That I didn't have enough time for them?
Pam: Oh, I, um...
Phyllis: Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout.

Quote from Angry Andy

Phyllis: Whoo! Wow, it is raining cats and dogs out there. Holy moley.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: Phyllis says the same twelve clichés every time it rains. So, I promised everyone that if she says them all by noon today, I will send out for hot chocolates.
[back:]
Darryl: So how was the drive in?
Phyllis: Oh, nobody knows how to drive in the rain.
Darryl: You don't say?
Phyllis: Yeah. You know the roads are actually the slickest in the first half hour?
[later:]
Phyllis: Oh, the plants are gonna love this.
Oscar: Yeah.
[later:]
Phyllis: I actually sleep better when it's raining.
Meredith: Tell me about it.
[later:]
Oscar: Time's almost up. How many are left?
Pam: Just one. "This weather makes me want to stay at home, curled up with a good book."
Darryl: Phyllis. This rain... does it make you wanna be doing something?
Phyllis: What do you mean?
Pam: You know, like aren't some things just so nice and cozy in the rain?
Jim: Hey, come on.
Phyllis: Lots of things are cozy in the rain.
Jim: And that's noon. Exactly. [others groan]
[aside to camera:]
Phyllis: I mean, normally the rain would make me want to stay home, curled up with a good book. But everybody's being so nice to me today. I'm really happy being here.

Quote from Angry Andy

Phyllis: If it makes you feel any better, I never had an orgasm until I was forty-two. And then when I did, it lasted 'til I was forty-four.
[back:]
Phyllis: Forty-three was ju- I got nothing done. [laughs]

Quote from Livin' the Dream

Phyllis: Andy sings beautifully. And he's really good at dancing. He's a good speaker. But there's just something there you don't want to look at.

Quote from The Job

Phyllis: I think it's going to be Michael.
Oscar: Do you really think he's qualified for that job?
Phyllis: No, but he wasn't qualified for the job he has now and he got that one.

Quote from The Merger

Phyllis: What is it?
Karen: I think I'm just allergic to your perfume.
Phyllis: My perfume?
Karen: It's just my crazy nose. I'm used to different smells.
Phyllis: Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in metropolitan Orlando. It's made from real pine.
Karen: Who's Bob Vance?
Phyllis: You've a lot to learn about this town, sweetie.

Quote from Finale

Phyllis: Oh, some fudge?
Malcolm: Oh, thanks. I love your fudge.
Phyllis: Thanks.
Malcolm: I think I gained a couple of pounds since I got here.
Phyllis: [laughing] Oh, you can afford it.
[aside to camera:]
Phyllis: After 16 years, it's strange sitting across from somebody who isn't Stanley. But... he'll get there.

Quote from Finale

Phyllis: I'm happy that this was all filmed so I can remember everyone and what we did. I worked for a paper company all these years and I never wrote anything down.

Quote from Traveling Salesmen / The Return

Phyllis: Dwight had a big personality and I have a big personality. And a lot of times when two people like that get together, it can be explosive.

Quote from Dwight Christmas

Phyllis: We found some old decorations in the warehouse. Oscar ran to the store for some food and drink, and I dipped into my stash of eggnog. I guess they needed me after all. It's like in it's a wonderful life when Jimmy Stewart realizes that all those people at the building and loan were just jerks, and he was the real hero.

Quote from New Leads

Phyllis: What's the least we can do to make this okay?

Quote from Goodbye, Michael

Michael Scott: Attention, everyone. Before I leave tomorrow, I would like to reveal a secret that I have kept for over 20 years. Secret about Phyllis.
Phyllis: Please, Michael.
Michael Scott: When Phyllis was in high school, she was so cute. And she still is.
[aside to camera:]
Phyllis: I thought he knew about the baby I gave away.

Quote from Gossip

Michael Scott: Well, apparently, he and his wife were out dancing at a club for young people.
Phyllis: Teri's out of town, Michael.
Michael Scott: Who?
Phyllis: Teri, Stanley's wife. She's at an interior decorating expo in Philly. Stanley hates crowds, kids, and music. I think you should check your facts.

Quote from Michael's Last Dundies

Michael Scott: Stanley Hudson is a grump. Everybody knows that. But did you know, that Stanley Hudson is also the face of a debilitating disease known as diabetes? The Diabetes Award goes to Stanley Hudson! Come on up here, you sick bastard.
[aside to camera:]
Phyllis: I have diabetes too. You don't see me making a big deal about it.

Quote from New Leads

Phyllis: I guess we could give them some of our new commissions.
Stanley: That is a dangerous precedent.
Jim: Pam texted back saying we could give them all iPods.
Phyllis: Oh, if they don't have an iPod by now they really don't want one.