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‘Body Language’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Office: Body Language

623. Body Language

Aired April 29, 2010

Michael gets mixed signals when bar manager Donna visits Dunder Mifflin for a sales pitch. Meanwhile, Dwight encourages Kelly to apply for the company's "Print in all Colors" executive training program.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Kelly will be even worse than Darryl. If you'd have told me this morning that today I'd be creating a monster capable of my own destruction, I 'd have thought you were referring to the bull Mose and I are trying to reanimate.


Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Michael Scott: Buenos dias, Jaime.
Jim: Buenos dias, Miguel. Como estas? Bien? Claro que si! Yo estoy fantastico. Que pasa?
Michael Scott: Ha ha! Buenos dias, Dwight!
Dwight K. Schrute: Guten tag, Herr Michael.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't understand why Michael is wasting his time with Spanish. I have it on very good authority that within 20 years, everyone will be speaking German. Or a Chinese-German hybrid.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: What sort of movie would Rudy have been if he had just stopped, given up, after two rejections? Would have been a lot shorter. Probably been a lot funnier. But it would have ultimately been a disappointment. I still would have seen it, but that's not... the point.

Quote from Stanley

Dwight K. Schrute: What I'm offering is a ticket on a bullet train straight to middle management.
Stanley: Dwight, I know these programs. "Every color is important because, together, we make a rainbow."
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes.
Stanley: I'll slap you in the face with a rainbow.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: How do I apply?
Gabe: You have to be a minority.
Dwight K. Schrute: Uh, glasses wearers. Cholera survivors. Geniuses. Non-organic family farmers. The list goes on and on. You want me to keep going?
Gabe: Those don't really count. We're thinking more ethnic and racial minorities.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Just once, I would like to be a puppet master and have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask?

Quote from Darryl

Gabe: Darryl withdrew his application. He said the Yale program interfered with his softball league, you know? He's gone.
[aside to camera:]
Darryl: I got my whole life to be a minority executive. I only have about a year left in these knees, though.

Quote from Kelly

Gabe: That's very nice. [about Kelly's bindi] I never noticed that before.
Kelly: Sometimes my bangs cover it.
Gabe: Yeah. I don't want to be offensive but, uh... may I ask you what that means?
Kelly: I do find that offensive, actually.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Buenos dias, Erin.
Erin: Buenos dias, Miguel. [phone rings] Hello, Dunder-Mifflin.
Michael Scott: No, no, no, no. Solamente en espanol, por favor.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: I believe that every man, woman, and child in this country should learn how to speak Spanish. They are our neighbors to the South, and this would be a healing thing for... for all of North America. And I am going on vacation next week to Cancun.

Quote from Michael Scott

Oscar: Your office is full of genitalia.
Michael Scott: [clears throat] Oh. Eso es lo que dice, el!
Oscar: "That's what he says?"
Michael Scott: Damn it.

Quote from Creed

Kevin: Look at that. She's totally flirting with him.
Phyllis: You don't know that. Some people can't help oozing sexuality.
Creed: You ever notice you can ooze two things: sexuality and pus. Man, I tell ya.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: La telefona.
Oscar: El telefono.
[aside to camera:]
Oscar: Michael's having a hard time with the gender part of Spanish. So I told him to mark everything with the international symbol for gender. And, um... [holds up two Post-It notes featuring drawings of male and female genitalia] I should have been more specific.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Gabe: You would have weekly conference calls with executives in corporate ,a two-week training program at the Yale school of management. Obviously you would be high on the list for advancement opportunities.
Darryl: Sounds all right.
Dwight K. Schrute: What is this?
Gabe: Oh, this is "Print in All Colors," Sabre's minority executive training program.
Dwight K. Schrute: It doesn't just sound a'ight, it sounds amazing.
Darryl: I didn't say "a'ight."

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: One minority from this branch is going to get into this program. Who would I prefer? Hmm. The competent, hardworking one who does things his own way, or the malleable simpleton who can be bought for a few fashion magazines?

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: [on the phone] This is the second time that you've sent me the wrong size. I mean, I know what a four feels like. I've been a four my whole life. You know what? You can go to Hell. All right? Thanks for nothing.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, man. White people, right?
Kelly: I don't know if she was white.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, you can kinda tell from the voice.
Kelly: Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: I bet you get pulled over by the cops a lot, just because of your race.
Kelly: Well, they say it's because of texting, but maybe you're right.
Dwight K. Schrute: I think you should consider applying for the executive minority training program.
Kelly: Never thought of myself as an executive before.
Dwight K. Schrute: I know, 'cause you have no role models. How many Indian CEOs can you think of?
Kelly: I can't think of any CEOs, any race.
Dwight K. Schrute: You could be the Indian Bill Gates. You could be the Indian Ted Turner.
Kelly: I could be the Indian Julia Roberts.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's not- She's- Okay. Yes.

Quote from Oscar

Oscar: I don't see how we could possibly sell these for that little without losing money. Delivery alone will cost-
Michael Scott: Okay, well sometimes... sometimes it makes financial sense to lose money, right? Like for tax purposes.
Oscar: Actually, ran the numbers on this, and in this case, it makes more financial sense to gain money.
Michael Scott: Why don't you run them again?

Quote from Ryan

Dwight K. Schrute: You know, we really should keep practicing for this interview.
Kelly: Oh, that's okay. Ryan coached me.
Dwight K. Schrute: Ryan? What does he know?
Ryan: It's easy... you just turn every question around on them. Do you think you're treated differently because of your race?
Kelly: Would you ask that same question if I was white? We're so in.
Dwight K. Schrute: "We?"
Kelly: When I become executive, I'm gonna make Ryan manager.
Ryan: And then the two of us are cleanin' house.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Kelly is disqualified!
Gabe: What?
Dwight K. Schrute: You said the program is not open to Caucasians. Well... Anthropologically, she is Indian. Indians migrated from the caucuses region of Europe. Therefore, technically, she is Caucasian. You're welcome, America.
Gabe: Yeah, but she's not white, though.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, obviously, she is brownish. But come on, I mean, Darryl is far more ethnic.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Kelly: For hobbies, um, yoga, belly dancing, snake charming. Beds of nails. I like lying on them.
Dwight K. Schrute: Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is Hidetoshi Hasagawa. He would like to apply for the Sabre minority executive training program "print in all colors" initiative.
Kelly: Dwight, what are you doing?
Dwight K. Schrute: Helping heal America in a dramatic fashion in the 11th hour.
Kelly: God, I hate you so much!
Dwight K. Schrute: Caucasians, am I right?

Quote from Andy

Andy: You know, when I tore my scrote, I was, uh- I was seeing this really hot urologist about it, and thought she was into me. But now I think she was just doing a bunch of stuff to bill my HMO. You know, she's touching around down there. It's easy to get confused.

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