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‘Livin' the Dream’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

The Office: Livin' the Dream

921. Livin' the Dream

Aired May 2, 2013

As Andy decides to pursue a career as a professional entertainer, David Wallace makes some personnel changes. Meanwhile, Jim returns to the office from Philadelphia, and Dwight finally gets something he's been working towards for years: his black belt.

Quote from Stanley

Stanley: Andy's from the generation that thinks they should all be famous. What happened to the generation that knew you shut up, did your work, and died quietly from a heart attack?

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Quote from Darryl

Darryl: I just think you're going into this a little fast.
Andy: I'm 38, Darryl, how much slower should I go?
Darryl: Show business is cold. Let's say you get a job, which you probably won't. They're not gonna cut you any slack. You're meant for a job with lots and lots of slack.

Quote from Creed

Creed: I think just about anybody could be a star. My postman, the night janitor here, but Andy? No, definitely not. Charisma black hole.

Quote from Phyllis

Phyllis: Andy sings beautifully. And he's really good at dancing. He's a good speaker. But there's just something there you don't want to look at.

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: Ooh, there's a great play about a salesman.
Andy: "Death of a Salesman".
Kevin: I don't think so.
Andy: Sure, "Death of a Salesman" by Arthur Miller, it's a great play about crushed dreams.
Kevin: No, this one was written by Spongebob Squarepants.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

David: Attention, everyone, just a quick announcement. Little reconfiguration to the staff. Dwight Schrute—
Dwight K. Schrute: David. Can I just do one thing while you're making this announcement and then I'll never, ever do it again?
David: I don't think so.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's just one thing. Just let me—let me do this—
David: Dwight, Dwight, Dwight. Come on. What I was about to say was Dwight- [phone buzzes] Oh, I'm sorry, I gotta- This'll be a second, sorry.
Dwight K. Schrute: Just wait and send it to voicemail.
David: Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Come on. Come on.
David: [on the phone] Then we'll get him a new set of drums.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. [climbs up on desk] Dwight Schrute is manager!

Quote from Andy

Andy: How did I just abandon my dreams so quickly? It's cause I had a fallback. That's the problem. When you have fallbacks, it's just easy to give up. When Cortez landed in Mexico, only way he got his men to defeat the Aztecs was by burning all of his own boats. So they could never return home. Huge dick move but very effective. I need to be that same kind of dick to myself.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Attention, everyone. May I have your attention? There are four new deadly weapons in this office. [kicking and punching] Basher, Thrasher, Crasher and—
Jim: Smasher!
Dwight K. Schrute: Smasher? No, where'd you get that? Fireball. This morning, after hours of combat with some of the city's best teenagers, I earned my black belt in Goju Ryu martial arts.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I had to find a new dojo after Sensei Ira and I parted ways. My new sensei, Sensei Billy, thought I had more than enough training to take the test. Turns out, Sensei Ira was a bit of a shyster. Sensei Billy says most students don't spend $150,000 over 20 years to get their black belt.

Quote from Jim

Dwight K. Schrute: So...
Jim: So.
Dwight K. Schrute: I wanted to offer you a new position.
Jim: Let's hear it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Assistant regional manager.
Jim: Nope. Can't accept that job. It's not a real job.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jim.
Jim: I'll tell you what I could accept is assistant to the regional manager. That is a real job and one I'd be proud to take.
Dwight K. Schrute: Shake on it? Pfft. Done. Way to negotiate, idiot.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: Don't get me wrong, I am definitely here for Pam. But this is an awesome added bonus.

Quote from Angela

Angela: Dwight has been practicing karate for years. When we were dating, I would help him with his strength training. He would strap me to his chest in a Baby Bjorn made for fat children and do lunges across the farm. I felt like I was flying.

Quote from David

David: This isn't going to be an easy conversation. I told Andy that he was on very thin ice when he snuck away from three months to the Caribbean. Then last week he used company money to buy a top-of-the-line photo printer. In his words, "The kind that's good for head shots." And yesterday, he asked me to pay for cheek implants. Claimed it's gonna boost office morale. Now, he's a good guy. But honestly, at some point, the ice gets too thin and you fall through. And that is when you get fired.

Quote from Andy

Andy: The male is a funny species. We don't just tell each other how we feel, that's chick stuff. So instead of saying, "Hey, Andy, I love you, man. I don't want you to leave." You say something like, "Hey, Andy, you're making the worst mistake of your life. You're not talented." Well... right back at you, Darryl.

Quote from Kevin

Kevin: Could Andy make it as an entertainer? I don't know. You know who's really funny? This bird, in the park, that can't fly right. I'd pay to see him. But I don't have to 'cause the park is free!

Quote from Oscar

Angela: So is your place all bachelor-slobby and gross?
Oscar: No, it's neat and tastefully appointed, like most gay men's homes. The stereotype holds up.

Quote from Angela

Angela: I wouldn't know. I never lived with a gay guy.
Oscar: Angela, you just were-
Angela: [sobbing] I love him.
Oscar: I know. I understand more than most, but we both have to move on. You- You can't—
Angela: No, not the senator. I love Dwight.

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