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36Quotes from ‘Here Comes Treble’

The Office: Here Comes Treble

905. Here Comes Treble

Aired October 25, 2012

Andy is thrown when his old college a capella group visit the office on Halloween and don't seem to respect his legacy. Meanwhile, Dwight goes on the hunt for the owner of an anti-anxiety medication, and Jim goes all in on his new business venture.

Quote from Creed

Pete: I didn't realize that everybody here dresses up every year.
Creed: Me neither.
[aside to camera:]
Creed: [covered in blood] It's Halloween. That is really, really good timing.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: This year I decided to really get into the spirit of Halloween. It may have been the costliest decision I've ever made. My greased up head went into the pumpkin no problem, but ... I can't get it out. I mean, I could try destroying the pumpkin... But as Jim and I discovered, any blow to the pumpkin itself could prove fatal to me. At first I drove myself crazy thinking about the things I should have done differently. I never should have played that joke on Erin. I never should have hollowed out this damn pumpkin in the first place. Then I realized that I was being silly. I mean the pumpkin should rot off of my head in a month or two. Right?

Quote from Pam

Jim: Angela, it's Halloween. You have to sing "Monster Mash".
Pam: Oh you have to Jim? You literally have to?
Jim: Uh...
Pam: No I'm just, I'm saying, what would happen if they didn't sing it? Would they go to jail? Would they be shot?
Jim: Okay. We'll, just forget it.
Pam: No! No, I'm interested. I mean I think everybody's interested in why they have to sing it.
Jim: Because it is Halloween. So if you're going to sing a concert, it's a good idea to throw that one in.
Pam: Yeah, yeah, no, no. It's a good idea to brush your teeth. But you have to, um, feed your children. Send them to school. You know, all things you can't do if you just keep singing "Monster Mash".
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: It turns out, that Pam really, really hates "Monster Mash". I mean like, never bring that song up in front of her. Even though Jim was making great points, like, in favor of the song, Pam was like, No! Hate it! Stupid!

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Nellie: Okay, look Dwight, let's just call this thing off. I mean, it's just an anxiety pill. Lots of people have anxiety.
Dwight K. Schrute: You think I don't have anxiety? I have anxiety all the time. Every waking moment of my life is sheer torture. I have land disputes I've got to settle. And idiot cousins to protect. And ne'er-do-well siblings to take care of. But I don't need some stupid pill to get me through all this.

Quote from Pam

Erin: Pam, what are you?
Pam: I am Dr. Cinderella.
Jim: Cece's really into princesses now. So we decided to turn them into a positive female role models.
Pam: I'm an oncologist.

Quote from Darryl

Dwight K. Schrute: What lab did these little clones escape from?
Andy: My Cornell a capella group.
Pam: You were in an a capella group?
Darryl: You went to Cornell?
Andy: Yah! ah. Okay. Ha ha ha ha.

Quote from Clark

Andy: But you have no idea how lucky you are because HCT is doing a set at our Halloween party.
Stanley: Ugh. I don't want to sit through a whole concert of that.
Clark: I do. I love the boss's interests.
Andy: Atta boy, Clark!

Quote from Meredith

Meredith: Where you boys stayin? How does it work in the rooms? Do you get a privacy partition?
Andy: No. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Stay away.

Quote from Andy

Andy: [dressed as George Michael] You know what I just realized? They might actually call me up to solo on George Michael's Faith. That was one of my signature songs. Oh, man. That would be insane. I'm so not prepared.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Hello, little pill. What do you do?
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Dumatril is licensed to treat anxiety symptoms, such as panic attacks, excessive worrying, and fear. Translation: There's a madman in our midst.

Quote from Nellie

Dwight K. Schrute: Dumatril!
Nellie: Something wrong, Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Dumatril.
Nellie: Yes?
Dwight K. Schrute: This is a pill that I found here in the office. But it's not for worms or eczema like any normal pill. It's not for any disorder of the body. [whispering] It's for a disorder of the mind.
Nellie: The mind is part of the body.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, this is a pill that combats insanity, okay? Whoever is taking it is not only insane... [whispering] They are now off their meds.
Nellie: Dwight, our co-workers' health issues are really none of our business so-
Dwight K. Schrute: Why are you trying so hard to bury this thing, huh? What's going on Nellie? Talk to me.
Nellie: Hm?
[aside to camera:]
Nellie: It's my pill. I have an anxiety issue and I'm not ashamed of that, But I'm not loving the idea of Dwight having that information. I once saw him yell at Phyllis for sneezing wrong.

Quote from Andy

Andy: I know that it's pathetic to re-live your college years, but cut me some slack, Okay? Because I was a freaking rock star in college. When I joined Here Comes Treble, that's when I became somebody. When I got the nickname "Boner Champ," that is when I became me.

Quote from Darryl

Dwight K. Schrute: Hi, Darryl. I'm just here to smear some peanut butter on my forehead.
Nellie: You know, to uh, to protect his brain from the nanobots that the government put in the air conditioning.
Dwight K. Schrute: That makes sense to you, right? Or does it sound... crazy?
Darryl: I can't really picture it. Can you... get it on there. Yeah. And maybe, get the cheeks.
Dwight K. Schrute: So this makes sense then. Or is it crazy?
Darryl: Get under your chin first. Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that where the nanobots like to come in?
Darryl: Take it all the way up to your lip, yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that how they like to get in?
Darryl: Yeah, that's crazy.
Dwight K. Schrute: [whispering] I don't know. I just don't know.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Meredith: Cool. Free upper.
Dwight K. Schrute: Ah ha! Ha!!! The jig is up, psychopath! Ah yeah! Gotcha!
Meredith: Don't dog catch me!
Dwight K. Schrute: Gotcha! Yeah! Let's see ya get out of this web, huh?
Meredith: Let me out!

Quote from Meredith

Meredith: [to Dwight] Stop baggin' my head!

Quote from Clark

Clark: Wait! Wait. Hold on. Where's the band? ‘Cause there's just no way you guys are making this magic with just your mouths.
Creed: Yeah. That's what she said.
[aside to camera:]
Clark: What, am I overdoing it? No. No.

Quote from Erin

Erin: The more I hear about all this a capella drama, the more I think it's kind of pathetic. But when you're with someone, you put up with the stuff that makes you lose respect for them, and that is love.

Quote from Angela

Jim: I thought that concert was pretty great.
Kevin: Oh yeah. I decided that acapelca music is awesome.
Angela: They lost me when they sang ‘Monster Mash'. That song obviously glorifies the occult.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: [whispering] I want some of those pills.
Nellie: Oh, well good for you. I mean, you'll need a prescription.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, no. No, no, no. no. They're not for me. They're for my cousin Mose. He's just having a tough time, being wifeless, and a high pressure job and his crazy cousin Mose. Other cousin Mose.
Nellie: Mm. Got it. Well, you tell Mose that he's a good man and that I hope he feels better.
Dwight K. Schrute: Which one? Mose or the real Mose?
Nellie: The real Mose.
Dwight K. Schrute: He says "Thank you."

Quote from Erin

Pam: And you are a dog.
Erin: No, I'm a puppy. Dang it! I was worried that would happen.
Jim: It's okay.

Quote from Jim

Erin: Uh, Jim, you're not dressed up at all.
Jim: Sure I am. I am... one of the Men in Black guys. [to Pam, under his breath] Can I have your sunglasses?
Erin: Jim, come on. I thought we were past this.

Quote from Pam

Pam: So the sports marketing business that Jim told everyone about except for me?
Jim: There's a big investment lunch today, so I decided to skip the costume.
Pam: Unless he has a secret costume that he told everyone about except for me.
Jim: Gettin' a lot of mileage out of this, aren't ya?
Pam: Yeah, well, get used to it, bud.

Quote from Angela

Andy: A jitterbug. [giggles] You guys look great! Just a reminder. The party is right after lunch, so make sure you get all your work done before that or throw it out. Any questions?
Angela: The senator will be joining us later.
Andy: Not a question.
Angela: No, it wasn't.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Jim. Look I'm eating you.
Jim: Shut up.
Dwight K. Schrute: Ha ha. Hey Erin, look, these are Nerds. I'm eating Jims.
Erin: [laughs]
Dwight K. Schrute: Must eat more Jims! Oink oink oink oink.
Erin: [laughing hysterically] Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! [limping towards the bathroom]
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh no, I'm spilling Jim all over the carpet. [laughing]

Quote from Pam

Pam: Okay, I give up. What are you?
Nellie: I'm sexy Toby.
Pam: [laughing] Gross. I love it.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Nellie: Yeah, you're right. This man needs to be apprehended.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'll get my apprehension kit.

Quote from Andy

Andy: Broccoli Rob was Broccoli Rob. Andy Bernard is the Boner Champ.

Quote from Andy

Andy: I was just talking to some of the actives, and they think that you're Boner Champ.
Broccoli Rob: [on video chat] I'm so sorry! I don't know how that could have happened.
Andy: Did you maybe tell them that or...?
Broccoli Rob: I just- I just started yappin' about the old days, and I guess the wine coolers were flowing, and, you know, somehow things just got hinky.
Andy: Could you just call them and tell them the truth? 'Cause I know it's really stupid, but it's also really, really, really important.
Broccoli Rob: Will do. I love you, Andy.
Andy: Love you too.

Quote from Andy

Andy: Spring sing ‘95. Got completely ripped on Bud Dries. I had sex with a snowman. I just went at that thing. Cold would have stopped most people but I stayed locked in, you know. Took the face off. It just seemed easier that way.

Quote from Oscar

Angela: And I told Phyllis not to put it out, but she insisted. So, anyway... Hi! Oh, Oscar, remember my husband, the senator?
Oscar: Senator Lipton, nice to see you.
Senator Lipton: Nice to see you Oscar.
Angela: Wait a second, who designed this spread? The sweets and savories are all mixed together. This is mayhem!
Senator Lipton: So Oscar, you're a dinosaur.
Oscar: Actually I'm the electoral college.
Senator Lipton: Ouch! Right on target.

Quote from Erin

Erin: Hey! You better do ‘Faith.' You get me?
Russell: We don't know it.
Erin: So learn it. You all go to Cornell, you're like eight Rain men. Just learning the friggin' song.
Russell: Look, I know it was big with the old guys, but--
Erin: Buts... are for pooping. Okay? Make it work.

Quote from Stanley

Clark: That's how you do that! Whoo!
Stanley: Show some pride. This is crap.
Dwight K. Schrute: I agree. Yes, crap. Continue.

Quote from Darryl

Russell: Now folks, by special request, we're going to take it a little old school. There is a former Trebler in this room.
Darryl: Who?
Russell: It's Mr. Andy Bernard!

Quote from Andy

Andy: Whoa! Whoa! What the hell is Broccoli Rob doing here?
Russell: She said you wanted to hear ‘Faith'. That's Broccoli Rob's signature song.
Andy: That's my signature song.
Russell: I really didn't know that man. I just thought you wanted to hear it.
Andy: Russell, I'm dressed like George Michael.
Russell: I thought you were Adam Lambert.
Andy: Wha...?

Quote from Andy

Erin: Are you okay?
Broccoli Rob: [on screen] He's still mad.
Andy: Shut up, Broccoli.
Broccoli Rob: Champ, I feel awful about this whole thing. Russell called me up. And they said they needed 20 cc's of George Michael stat. So just... Wham! I sprang into action. You know me. I assumed you wanted to hear me do your signature number.
Andy: You thought I wanted to sit in the audience like some slutty Treb rat? A man's signature solo is his for life, okay? That's group policy and you know it.
Broccoli Rob:Look, it's not my fault that I still live near campus, and it's my duty as an alum to be friendly to the young guys., and stop in two, three times a week.
Andy: Just don't do the song anymore.
Broccoli Rob: I tell you what, we'll have a sing-off for it. You pick twelve alums from any year to back you up and I'll do the same, and I'm so confident that I'll win, I won't even warm up.
Andy: Fine, go ahead. Thrash your pipes.
Broccoli Rob: My pipes are primo, Champ. Why don't you ask Trey Anastasio about my pipes?
Andy: I knew you would go there, you son of a bitch!
Broccoli Rob:He said, and I quote, "Hey Rob, nice pipes." That happened!
Andy: Okay, fine, yeah. that's one guy's opinion!
Broccoli Rob: That's real. 'That'll never change!
Erin: Okay! [unplugs TV screen]
Andy: Doesn't mean you're the best singer ever. Dick.

Quote from Andy

Erin: Andy, what's going on?
Andy: If I am not Boner Champ, I don't know who I am.
Erin: Well, um, you know maybe you're the wise old guy that the new, uh, B-O-N-E-R champ looks up to. You know, you could just-
Andy: Make a donation.
Erin: Well, I was gonna say, be a mentor.
Andy: Yes. I am gonna make a donation. And it just so happens that I know someone who works at the Bernard Family Foundation. Her name is mom.


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