‘Get the Girl’
Season 8, Episode 19 - Aired March 15, 2012
As Andy travels to Florida to win back Erin, Nellie arrives in Scranton and quickly makes her presence known.
Quote from Nellie
Nellie: I grew up poor. I had little formal education. No real skills. I don't work especially hard, and most of my ideas are either unoriginal or total crap. And yet, I walked right into a job for which I was ill-prepared, ill-suited, and somebody else already had, and I got it. If you ask me, that's the American dream right there. Anything can happen to anyone. It's just random.
Quote from Robert
Robert: My point is, there is one person in charge of every office in America, and that person is Charles Darwin. In the end, doesn't he decide who the manager is?
Quote from Nellie
Nellie: That one looks empty.
Jim: No, that's Andy's office.
Nellie: Oh, is it?
[aside to camera:]
Nellie: I have one simple philosophy in business: if the seat is open, the job is open. It's how I came to briefly race a Formula One car. The three slowest laps ever recorded.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Jim: Dwight, should she be our manager?
Dwight K. Schrute: I wouldn't let her manage a celery farm.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Those who can't farm, farm celery.
Quote from Andy
Andy: I'm in Florida to get Erin. As soon as I heard she wasn't coming back to Scranton, I jumped straight in my car and drove straight down till I hit the ocean. My heart is my map. Turns out, Tallahassee is about 200 miles inland, so I overshot a good amount. But still, not bad for a heart map right? [picks up dead fish] Oh, no. Thanks a lot, BP.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Nellie: Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: I refuse to be judged by someone that I do not respect. I lost respect for you in Florida. If it was up to me, you would be in jail forever.
Nellie: Dwight, I have completed your evaluation. You're getting a raise.
Dwight K. Schrute: What?
Nellie: Dwight, you carry this company on your massive shoulders. You are our Atlas, and for that do you not think you deserve a raise?
Dwight K. Schrute: There's no limit to what I think I deserve.
Nellie: Then you accept it?
Dwight K. Schrute: Five percent. No less.
Nellie: Absolutely not. Seven percent.
Dwight K. Schrute: Six percent, I know my worth.
Jim: The raise isn't real.
Dwight K. Schrute: Money isn't real ever since we got off the gold standard.
Quote from Robert
Nellie: So no one can tell me what's going on. Well, let me illuminate things for you. We are getting to know each other. [in an accent] But why, m'lady? [in normal voice] Because I am your new manager.
Pam: Robert, is Nellie our new manager?
Robert: [laughs] This is an odd situation. But it's very interesting how it's playing out.
[aside to camera:]
Robert: We live in this world of routines and rhythms. Kevin ate someone's lunch. Phyllis has a new necklace. Who is this woman?
Quote from Robert
Robert: Not much we can do about this until he gets here.
Jim: Can't you do something about this?
Robert: Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves, Jim.
Jim: ... Right.
Quote from Nellie
Jim: Hey. So they accidentally gave us an extra egg sandwich this morning. Who wants it?
Kevin: Ooh
Darryl: Me.
Phyllis: Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Right here.
Nellie: Allow me to solve your problem, then.
Jim: Nellie
Nellie: Mmm. [bites sandwich] Oh, that is disgusting. Do you call that a King James breakfast pie?
Jim: What brings you to town?
Nellie: Certainly not the Harry Houdini Museum. What a nobody. Oh look, some Hungarian just found their way out of a sack. Let's build a shrine. No, I've come to work here.
Quote from Nellie
Robert: Now, let's find you something fun to do here, shall we?
Nellie: Oh, I've already found it. I am manager, a natural next step. It fits like a glove.
Robert: We have a manager.
Nellie: Do you really? Because it is 10:00. I've been in this chair for an hour, and no other manager has come and sat in my lap.