The Office Quote of the Day

Monday, March 27, 2023

Quote from Michael Scott in Broke

Michael Scott: It's 4:30 in the morning. Do you know where your kids are? If you are Ryan's parents or Pam's parents or my parents, you do. They're gonna be in this van. With me. Who am I? Nothing to fear. I am just a 44-year-old guy with a paper route.


Recent Quotes

Sunday, March 26, 2023

Quote from Michael Scott in Job Fair

Michael Scott: Yeah, I'm trying to lure these kids into my booth. But kids are very wary of being lured these days. Thank you, Dateline.

Saturday, March 25, 2023

Quote from Michael Scott in Night Out

Michael Scott: I've never met anybody who does that. You wash dogs? Very cool.
Woman: That's one aspect of small pet grooming.What do you do?
Michael Scott: I am a bank teller.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Ryan told me to always tell a woman you work in finance.

Friday, March 24, 2023

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in China

Stanley: Dwight, why is the toilet paper only half a ply?
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, I'm sorry, isn't that good enough for your anus? [looking at camera] Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.

Thursday, March 23, 2023

Quote from Nellie in Get the Girl

Nellie: So what is going on? That does seem to be the question, doesn't it? [in American accent] Hey, this is messed up, bro. Who is this weird lady? [normal voice] I know. It's a lot. So, who knows what's going on? Anyone? You, yes. Wait, I am very good at intuiting names. Is it... chumbo?
[aside to camera:]
Jim: I think it's a cross between Dumbo and Jumbo, with a hint of chubby. It's not a name.

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Delivery

Dwight K. Schrute: Yesterday, I was dispatched to Jim and Pam's house to find Pam's iPod. I searched everywhere, but I didn't find it. What I did find, was mold, and lots of it. So, I did what anyone would do. Read a book, had a bath, I got a good night's sleep, and I made plans to eradicate it. I also made plans to ask Jim where he bought his marvelous sheets. Time to get to work.

Tuesday, March 21, 2023

Quote from Jim in Sabre

Christian Slater: So you've just been bought by Sabre. You've probably got a lot of questions. Hi. I'm Christian Slater. What's it like to work for Sabre? Let's find out together. Working at Sabre means taking on the challenge of the road that rises to meet you. Sabre is respecting the past, but opening a window to the future. Have you ever tasted a rainbow? At Sabre, you will.
Jo: You'll find it easy to embrace the Sabre spirit. Welcome. We're very excited to go on this journey with you.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: [Christian Slater impression] So you've been shown a nonsensical video. You're probably wondering, "What's going on?" Well, you're not alone.

Upcoming Quotes

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

A quote from Jim in the episode Local Ad.

Wednesday, March 29, 2023

A quote from Dwight K. Schrute in the episode Traveling Salesmen / The Return.

Thursday, March 30, 2023

A quote from Dwight K. Schrute in the episode The Merger.

Friday, March 31, 2023

A quote from Erin in the episode Pool Party.

Saturday, April 1, 2023

A quote from Michael Scott in the episode Ultimatum.