The Office Quote of the Day
Saturday, September 25, 2021
Dwight K. Schrute: Excuse me! May I have your attention, please? There has been an accident on 84 West. Cars have skidded off the road into the safety railing. Several cars have flipped, there is broken glass everywhere, several people are injured.
Pam: Do we know anyone who was in the accident?
Dwight K. Schrute: Brad Pitt. Also, there will be no bonuses.
Stanley: Why would this affect our bonuses?
Dwight K. Schrute: They're unrelated.
Kelly: Is Brad okay?
Dwight K. Schrute: He will never act again. Also, this branch is closing.
Friday, September 24, 2021
Jo: Oh, you don't become the most powerful woman in Tallahassee by slacking off. [scoffs] You do it by working hard. Or marrying rich. I did both!
Thursday, September 23, 2021
Stanley: If anybody's going to Florida, it should be me. Every shirt that I have that isn't a work shirt is a Tommy Bahama. I'm the only person in this office who watches Burn Notice.
Wednesday, September 22, 2021
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.
Tuesday, September 21, 2021
Jim: Andy, this whole idea of our situation being just like war? It's just not true. We just work at a paper company. And you're our regional manager. And guess what man? You don't have to prove anything. We like you as regional manager. And if you don't believe me take a look at what's on my head. I'm wearing a very pink hat. I've been getting weird looks all day because I'm pretty sure "DM does GB" means something kinda sexual. But guess who's wearing them? All of us. Just for you man. That's huge.
Monday, September 20, 2021
Kevin: I wonder what he did.
Michael Scott: In our society a black man can be arrested for almost anything. He was probably at a sporting event and saw some people pushing each other and he intervened.
Pam: Why would anyone go to jail for that?
Sunday, September 19, 2021
Jim: If I had thought that there was a real chance that Dwight would be permanent manager, I would have pre-quit. And you might be saying to yourself, "Well that's pretty premature to think," but I always say, it's better to be pre-pre-preprepared.
Sunday, September 26, 2021
Monday, September 27, 2021
Tuesday, September 28, 2021
Wednesday, September 29, 2021
Thursday, September 30, 2021