TV Quotes

Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, fine, I'll just let it go to voice mail.
Jim: [on headset] Hello, this is Dwight.
Pam: Hey, is this Dwight?
Jim: Yes, it is.
Pam: Oh, my goodness, you sound sexy.
Jim: Oh, thank you. I've been working out.
Dwight K. Schrute: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pam! Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now. You're talking to Jim.
Pam: Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: No! Pam, I'm over here.
Pam: I'm confused.
Dwight K. Schrute: Disconnect that right now. You give me your earpiece.
Jim: I can't do that. Unsanitary.

Michael Scott: Today's a very special day for me. And it's really not about me. It's about my grandkids. It's about my great-grandkids. I can come back here when I'm 100, and I can find that piece of cement and say, "That's me. Look, kids. Your daddy left that facehole." I don't know. It's a good feeling.

Michael Scott: Halfway? You know what I want to do? I want to pull over and find a little bed and breakfast for when we meet in the middle. Emphasis on the bed. And the breakfast.

Andy: So Michael had a little chat with corporate and they decided to send me to management training. Anger management, technically, but still, management material. This whole thing's supposed to take ten weeks. I expect to be done in five. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring and positive reinforcement through nods and smiles. So don't worry about old Andy Bernard. I'll be back. Just like Rambo.

Ryan: You know what? We could get this done a lot quicker if we formed a type of assembly line.
Stanley: This here is a "run out the clock" situation. Just like upstairs.

Darryl: You ready for me?
Michael Scott: Yes, yeah. Absolutely. Have a seat. You know what, actually, let's go into the conference room.
Darryl: Okay.
Michael Scott: No, you know what, let's stay here. Let's go. Yeah, let's go to the conference room.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Tactic number six. Change the location of the meeting at the last second. Totally throws them off.

Dwight K. Schrute: Does your husband have very soft erections? Because if not, I just grabbed a very soft penis for nothing.