Pam: I got Erin a new computer, because the one at reception sucked. I should know. And I don't wanna say the other one was old, but its I.P. number was one! [laughs cautiously] Right?

Darryl: We should schedule meetings, 'cause the days can slip away with chit-chat. Are you crying?
Andy: No, I'm just sweating.
Darryl: I don't know what's got you upset but my advice is stop crying.
Andy: I'm not crying, I'm just sweating.
Darryl: Look, you need to pick yourself up. Man up, alright? You will win this in the end. It's all about heart, and character. Be your best self.
Andy: Okay.
Darryl: Yeah.
[aside to camera:]
Darryl: I have no idea what his problem is. That's just my standard advice. It's good advice, right?

Michael Scott: Now we're cooking. I like this. Maybe a whole theme, like a rap. A rap rhyme.
Jim: An urban thing.
Michael Scott: An urban- Yeah, Stanley, you wanna help us out with that? Stanley! Earth to Stanley.
Stanley: Not me.
Michael Scott: Yes, you. Come on, Stanley, put your little game down and join the group. No. Stanley, we're having-
Stanley: Leave me alone, damn it.
Michael Scott: We're having a brainstorm session!
Stanley: Did I stutter?!

Dwight K. Schrute: People are starting to notice how terrible Jim is. It's great. Eventually, they'll rise up and revolt. My only hope is that they do it sooner rather than later. If the people here were our founding fathers, the Revolutionary War would have been delayed ten years. Because Stanley Washington was napping. And Phyllis Hancock was still signing the declaration. And Kevin Jefferson was distracted by a butterfly.

Jim: No, it does matter who ends up sitting next to Pam when I'm gone. The people around you are basically who you end up spending your life with. I mean, because of where my desk was, I spent all those years looking at Pam, and I fell in love. So, that stuff matters. Definitely does.

Michael Scott: [removing tie] Well, apparently, Michael Scott is on a date. And that, that my friend, changes everything. [puts on Kangol hat]

Michael Scott: Introduce yourself. Be polite.
Dwight K. Schrute: Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager.
Michael Scott: Assistant to the Regional Manager. So, Dwight, tell him about the kung fu and the car and everything.
Dwight K. Schrute: Uh, yeah, I've got a '78280Z. Bought it for $1,200. It's now worth three grand.
Michael Scott: That's his profit.
Dwight K. Schrute: I got a new engine, suspension, respray. I've got some photos. Uh. Damn it! Jim!
Michael Scott: OK. Hold on. Hold on. The judge is in session. What is the problem?
Dwight K. Schrute: He put my stuff in Jell-O again. That's real professional, thanks. That's the third time and it wasn't funny the first two times either, Jim.