TV Quotes

Angela: I'm not gaining anything from this seminar. I'm a professional woman, the head of Accounting. I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life. I just think it's insulting that Jan thinks we need this. And apparently, judging from her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore.

Creed: This airs tonight? Oh, my God. If my parents see this, I am toast.

Pam: We can't let him buy our forgiveness with cupcakes. He was awful to us. And, he still is. How much is a cupcake? $2.50? Is that the price of our dignity?
Creed: $3.75 a cupcake, actually. $3.67 if you buy a dozen.
[aside to camera:]
Creed: I never forget a number. Names? In one ear and out the other. Places? Nope. Faces? That's rich. But, numbers? I have a gift. I guess that's why I'm an accountant.

Dwight K. Schrute: Why are all these people here? There's too many people on this Earth. We need a new plague.

Jim: I don't know what you want me to tell you, man. All I know is that every time I've been faced with a tough decision, there's only one thing that outweighs every other concern. One thing that will make you give up on everything you thought you knew. Every instinct. Every rational calculation.
Dwight K. Schrute: Some sort of virus?
Jim: Love.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh.

Michael Scott: We at Sabre have betrayed the trust that we have built with our customers. We regret our slow response and our lapse in candor and judgment. At this time, we are issuing a full recall of all Sabre GH400 printers. We will not rest until this problem is solved. There will be no questions. Are there any questions?

Dwight K. Schrute: Just once, I would like to be a puppet master and have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask?