The Office Quote of the Day

Wednesday, May 22, 2024

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Lice

Angela: Oh God, Meredith, lice? Did you not sign a pledge to shower?
Dwight K. Schrute: What? Lice? Oh my god. Lock the doors, we are on full quarantine.
Pam: Dwight, relax. It's just lice. Maybe, possibly.
Dwight K. Schrute: Just lice, Pam?
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, lice are the ones I detest the most. My first day of school, I had lice, and no one would play with me. For 15 years, they called me freak and four eyes and sci-fi nerd and girl puncher. All because I had lice when I was 7.

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Recent Quotes

Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Quote from Jim in Launch Party

Jim: How's it going?
Dwight K. Schrute: Fine. Good.
Jim: Yeah?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah.
Jim: You look a little worried.
Dwight K. Schrute: I do not look worried.
[Dwight receives an I.M. from DunMiff/sys reading "You do look worried.". Dwight composes a message in response.]
Pam: [reading] "Here's a suggestion, computer. I assume you read binary. So why don't you 011-11-011-011?"
Jim: [telling Pam what to type] Um, while you were typing that, I searched every database in existence and learned every fact about everything. And mastered the violin. Oh, and sold more paper.

Monday, May 20, 2024

Quote from Michael Scott in Goodbye, Michael

Michael Scott: I bought this [holds up World's Best Boss mug] for myself. And yesterday, they gave me this. [throws mug in trash] I still need something to drink out of, though.

Sunday, May 19, 2024

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Initiation

Ryan: They really didn't like me.
Dwight K. Schrute: They did not. But they didn't have to say it to your face.
Ryan: I don't get it. I don't get what I did wrong.
Dwight K. Schrute: Not everything's a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes you just fail. It's those online paper jerks. The whole business is changing. You know what? They're gonna be screwed once this whole Internet fad is over.

Saturday, May 18, 2024

Quote from Jim in Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager

Jim: So as it turns out, unless you're a young child or a prison inmate, you don't need anyone supervising you. People just come in and do their work on their schedule. Imagine that, people like us allowed to sell paper. Unsupervised. And yet, somehow it works. It must be because the stakes are so high.

Friday, May 17, 2024

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Pilot

Michael Scott: I know there's some rumors out there and I just want to set the record straight.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm Assistant Regional Manager. I should know first.
Michael Scott: Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Thursday, May 16, 2024

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Scott's Tots

Stephanie: [answering phone] David Wallace's office.
Dwight K. Schrute: [imitating Kevin] This is Kevin Malone, is David there?
Stephanie: No, he's in his weekly staff meeting, can I take a message?
Dwight K. Schrute: Tell him I'm mad at Jim, because he's asking us to give money to Pam.
[later:]
Dwight K. Schrute: [imitating Stanley] This is Stanley Hudson. Jim Halpert is a menace.
[later:]
Dwight K. Schrute: [imitating Toby] It's Toby Flenderson. Listen, things are getting really bad down here.

Upcoming Quotes

Thursday, May 23, 2024

A quote from Dwight K. Schrute in the episode Local Ad.

Friday, May 24, 2024

A quote from Toby in the episode Dwight Christmas.

Saturday, May 25, 2024

A quote from Toby in the episode Two Weeks.

Sunday, May 26, 2024

A quote from Pam in the episode Threat Level Midnight.

Monday, May 27, 2024

A quote from Michael Scott in the episode The Dundies.