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‘Money’ Quotes Page 1 of 5

The Office: Money

407. Money

Aired October 18, 2007

When his finances hit a rough patch, Michael takes a second job to earn more money. Meanwhile, Jim and Pam spend the night at Dwight's farm, and Andy asks Angela out on a date.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I declare bankruptcy!

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Quote from Michael Scott

Oscar: Hey, I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word "bankruptcy" and expect anything to happen.
Michael Scott: I didn't say it, I declared it.
Oscar: Still- That's- That's not anything.

Quote from Stanley

Michael Scott: [on the phone] Yes, is Mr. Hudson there?
Stanley: Yeah, who is this?
Michael Scott: Well I'm just calling because you responded positively to-
Stanley: Michael?
Michael Scott: Stanley?
Stanley: Why are you calling me here at home?
Michael Scott: [in a Mexican accent] Señor, are you happy with your long distance, sir?
Stanley: Michael, I know that's you. Why are you calling me here at home?
Michael Scott: [different voice] Have you con- Have you considered satellite television?
Stanley: Michael, I know that's you. I know your voice.
Michael Scott: All right.
Stanley: Why are you calling me here at home? When I'm at home at night in my own house in my sweats, drinking some red wine, watching my mystery stories, the last thing in the whole godforsaken world I want to hear is the voice of Michael Scott.

Quote from Michael Scott

Pam: Michael just rent The Devil wears Prada. He has his Netflix sent here to the office and he watches them in pieces when things are slow. He's a big Meryl Streep fan, so I shouldn't be surprised that he's identified with her character. [later:]
Michael Scott: Coat!
[later:]
Michael Scott: Steak! Where's my steak?

Quote from Creed

Creed: Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Schneider.

Quote from Jim

Jim: You know, I just realized this is Pam's and my first night away together. I used to play it over in my head and it was just a little bit different. Maybe a nice hotel or a romantic dinner. Wine but wine that wasn't made out of beets. Didn't think Dwight would be involved at all. And I always imagined less manure. I mean, some manure. Just less.

Quote from Pam

Jim: I can't believe this place is real. I'd heard about his beet farm for years, but I never thought-
Pam: The Beets Motel.
Jim: The Beets Motel? That is- Wow.
Pam: Thank you.

Quote from Creed

Michael Scott: How would that help, Creed? In Monopoly, you go bankrupt, you lose.
Creed: You don't go by Monopoly, man. That game is nuts. Nobody just picks up "Get out of jail free" cards. Those things cost thousands.
Michael Scott: That is a good point.
Creed: Bankruptcy, Michael, is nature's do-over. It's a fresh start. It's a clean slate.
Michael Scott: Like the witness protection program.
Creed: Exactly.
Oscar: Not at all!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Get me Armani.
Pam: A suit?
Michael Scott: On the phone.
Pam: The main company number? 'Cause I'm gonna have to call information.
Michael Scott: Where's Armani? He's on the phone. Too slow. You're not going to Paris. I'm so much better than you are.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I owe you an apology.
Pam: You finished the movie.
Michael Scott: Yeah, it was awesome. Big surprise ending. Won't ruin it for you.
Pam: No, go ahead.
Michael Scott: Meryl Streep is the bad guy. You never see it coming. Anyway, if I was mean in any way to you, I'm sorry. I just want what's best for you, Minushka.

Quote from Pam

Pam: "Macushla." He's watching Million Dollar Baby. He's gonna try to kill me.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Yes! Money has been a little bit tight lately. But at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No, I'm gonna be thinking about how many friends I have and my children and my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well, money-wise.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: [answering phone] Dunder Mifflin, Dwight Schrute. Please hold. Schrute farms. Guttentag. How can help you? Yes, we have availability on those nights. How many in your party? Oh, no, I'm sorry. No King beds. No Queen either. Well, we make our own mattresses that don't conform to the traditional sizes. Closest would be twin. Thank you so much for calling. Call back again. Auf wiedersehen.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: Hey, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: None of your business, Jim.
Jim: You running a bed and breakfast?
Dwight K. Schrute: It is not a B & B.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Agro-tourism is a lot more than a bed and breakfast. It consists of tourists coming to a farm, showing them around, giving them a bed, giving them breakfast.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: My girlfriend and I broke up recently and I must say I am relieved. Gives me a chance to sow my wild oats. In the Schrute family, we have a tradition where when the male has sex with another woman he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats left on his doorstep by his parents. You can use those oats to make oatmeal, bread... Whatever you want. I don't care, they're your oats.

Quote from Pam

Jim: The Borscht Hotel.
Pam: The Embassy Beets. Radish Inn.
Jim: How are you doing this?
Pam: I don't know.

Quote from Michael Scott

Ryan: How long until you actually get this presentation ready?
Michael Scott: Why don't you do the presentation. I mean, you know how to do it.
Ryan: What I really want? Honestly, Michael, is for you to know it so that you can communicate to the people here, to your clients, to whomever.
Michael Scott: Huh, okay.
Ryan: What?
Michael Scott: It's whoever, not whomever.
Ryan: No, it's whomever.
Michael Scott: No, whomever is never actually right.
Jim: Well, sometimes it's right.
Creed: Michael is right. It's a made-up word used to trick students.

Quote from Kelly

Pam: It's whom when it's the object of the sentence, and who when it's the subject.
Phyllis: That sounds right.
Michael Scott: Well it sounds right, but is it?
Stanley: How did Ryan use it? As an object?
Ryan: As an object.
Kelly: Ryan used me as an object.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I was never in this for the money. But it turns out that the money was an absolute necessity for me. I tried to live the dream. I tried to have a job, a girlfriend, another job, and I failed. But the good thing about the American Dream is that you can just go to sleep. And try it all again the next night.

Quote from Andy

Pam: I don't know if I really see you two together.
Andy: Really? Well, maybe you should look in the smart part of your brain.
Pam: She's very religious.
Andy: Okay, well I come from a line of W.A.S.P.s so long it leads back to Moses.

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