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‘The Whale’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Office: The Whale

907. The Whale

Aired November 15, 2012

The women of Dunder Mifflin coach Dwight ahead of an important sales call to a female manager. Meanwhile, Angela tells Oscar she's afraid the Senator is cheating on her, and things aren't working out for Jim and his new business venture.

Quote from Creed

Phyllis: Guys, we can't let Dwight blow this. An account this size could double our growth. That means raises, bonuses... Pizza Friday could come back.
Meredith: Hey, remember that week in the 90's when we got bagels?
Creed: I miss Clinton.

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Quote from Nellie

Nellie: [to Dwight] I have, uh, written down a few questions. One, have you ever killed a woman? How many women have you killed? Please, sir, will you not kill me?

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Pam: Okay, when you're selling to women, it is crucial that you listen, Dwight. Also you want to respect their... Are you listening now?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes.
Pam: Okay, well you have to show us.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's impossible. Listening happens in the ear and in the brain. I mean, some organisms have external hairs that vibrate to indicate auditory stimulation but unfortunately, our external hairs don't vibrate at all.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

David: Guys, listen, this is big news. The Scranton White Pages just got in contact with my office. They've apparently just dropped the supplier they've been with for the last ten years. .
Dwight K. Schrute: The White Pages.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: The White Pages: Do you want it? No. Do you use it? No. Does it inexplicably show up on your doorstep three times a year? Yes, yes, and yes. There's a reason that we in the paper industry call this thing "the White Whale". Look at all that sweet blubber.

Quote from Pam

Pam: Ten years ago, I didn't care if Dwight got married or died a beet-farming bachelor. But having kids makes you so soft. I used to watch Pulp Fiction and laugh, and now I'm like, that poor gimp is somebody's child.

Quote from Pam

Pam: Oh my God. It's Jan.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, dear God in heaven.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: Jan used to be one of my superiors, and she is one of the most erratic and terrifying people I have ever met. Jim and I are pretty sure she had an affair with her ex-assistant Hunter. He was 17. But she looks great. If she asks, will you tell her I said that?

Quote from Nellie

Pam: Nellie, why don't you tell Dwight what we were doing earlier today. And Dwight, you show us that you're listening.
Nellie: Well, we were in the warehouse, where we were discussing a mural that I've commissioned Pam to paint there. We were talking about the color schemes and the major themes we want to hit. Children of the world, coming together, cutting down trees to make paper. But not in a child labor-y way.
Erin: It's just up and down, just a regular nod, like a person.
Dwight K. Schrute: I am a person.
Erin: Yes.
Nellie: And then we thought we'd- I can't. I just can't carry on with that face. Look at it. I'm gonna get nightmares with that face. I mean he looks like he's laboring over a stool having just eaten human flesh.

Quote from Jan

Jan: [to Clark] Do you have a valid passport?

Quote from Jan

Pam: And it is so cute how she signs her name.
Jan: [chuckles] Well, that- That was- That was me, too.
Pam: Oh, okay. It's just that's how Cece does it with the backwards ‘E's.
Jan: Cece can't spell her name.
Pam: Oh, actually she can.
Jan: Well, it's not really much of a comparison, is it? I mean, "Cece" is two letters and "Astrid" is... I mean, there's even some adults who- who- who can't spell it.
Pam: Of course.
Jan: Can you spell it? Try to spell it, Pam.
Pam: Um... "A"... "X"? I don't- You got me.
Jan: Don't patronize me.
Pam: [whispering] I'm so sorry. I hate this. You're better.

Quote from Jan

Jan: [singing over slideshow] Mommy, you're a princess. Mommy, you're a superstar. Mommy you're the greatest. How can I ever fill your sho-o-o-es?
Pam: Wow. Your voice is as lovely as ever.

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