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‘Booze Cruise’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Office: Booze Cruise

211. Booze Cruise

Aired January 5, 2006

When Michael arranges a booze cruise for his employees at Dunder Mifflin, he's upstaged by the ship's captain. Meanwhile, Jim is crushed when Roy decides it's finally time to marry Pam.

Quote from Jim

Jim: What's up, buddy?
Dwight K. Schrute: This is not funny. Why is my stuff in here?
Jim: That's weird. Ooh, a dollar for a stapler, though, that's pretty good.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, well, I'm not paying for my own stuff, okay? I know you did this, 'cause you're friends with the vending machine guy.
Jim: Who, Steve?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, Steve. Whatever his name is.
Pam: What do I want? What do I want? Ooh, it's a pencil cup.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, no, no, no. That's my pencil cup.
Pam: I don't think so, I just bought it.
Dwight K. Schrute: I think so, and you're gonna hand it over to me.
Pam: I love these.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, fine. Where's my wallet?
Jim: Oh, there it is. J1.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't have-
Jim: Here, you know what? I've got some nickels.
Dwight K. Schrute: $0.05, $0.10, $0.15, $0.20, $0.25.

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Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I am a great motivational speaker. I attended a Tony Robbins event by the airport last year and... It wasn't the actual course. You have to pay for the actual course. But it talked about the actual course. And I've incorporated a lot of his ideas into my own course.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Leader ship. The word "ship" is hidden inside the word "leadership" as its derivation. So if this office is in fact a ship, as its leader, I am the captain. But we're all in the same boat. Teamwork!

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Hey, look! I'm king of the world! Whoo!

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four and I was great. And I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Okay! Dancing! It is a primal art form used in ancient times to express yourself with the body! And communicate!
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that's always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you have to just be the boss dancing.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Okay, all right. It's time to be boss. Time to motivate. Let's blow some minds here. Okay, guys, guys, guys. Cool it. Everybody? Dunder Mifflin Scranton employees, Brenda, I've some very, very urgent news I need to tell everybody. Right now. Listen up. The ship is sinking. Okay? We're going down right now. Just wrap your heads around the reality of that. Please! Everybody, it's my turn now, okay? Captain Jack is gone. In five minutes, this ship is going to be at the bottom of the lake, and there aren't enough spaces on the lifeboat.
Who are we gonna save? Do we save sales? Do we save customer service? Do we save accounting? This is a business scenario. Right? It's a scary- It's a predicament. And it's something that each and every one of us have to think about.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I'm in the brig. See? The boat's not as corporate-friendly as advertised. What is the deal with the guy jumping overboard? What was- If he had just waited and heard what I had to say, he would be motivated right now, and not all wet.

Quote from Michael Scott

Jim: What a night.
Michael Scott: Well, it's nice for you. Your friend got engaged.
Jim: She was always engaged.
Michael Scott: Roy said the first one didn't count.
Jim: That's great. You know, to tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam. So...
Michael Scott: Really? You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow! I would have never put you two together. You really hid it well. God! I usually have a radar for stuff like that.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: You know I made out with Jan.
Jim: Yeah, I know.
Michael Scott: Yeah, yeah. Well, Pam is cute.
Jim: Yeah. She's really funny, and she's warm, and she's just- Anyway.
Michael Scott: Well, if you like her so much, don't give up.
Jim: She's engaged.
Michael Scott: BFD. Engaged ain't married.
Jim: Huh.
Michael Scott: Never, ever, ever give up.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Michael stands in the front of the boat and says that he's king of the world within the first hour, or I give you my next paycheck.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: This is not just another party. This is a leadership training exercise. Right? I'm going to combine elements of fun and motivation and education into a single mind-blowing experience.

Quote from Pam

Pam: Last week, Michael sent out this mysterious memo.
Jim: "It's time for our first-quarter camaraderie event. So pack a swimsuit, a toothbrush, rubber-soled shoes and a ski mask."
Pam: A ski mask and a swimsuit.
Jim: So that he can have us rob a bank and then escape through the sewers.
Pam: And brush our teeth.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: Okay, don't spoil it for everybody, all right? But we are going on a booze cruise on Lake Wallenpaupack.
Stanley: In January?
Michael Scott: It's cheaper.

Quote from Michael Scott

Kelly: Wait, Michael.
Michael Scott: Yeah?
Kelly: Why did you tell us to bring a bathing suit?
Michael Scott: To throw you off the scent.
Kelly: Yeah, but I bought a bathing suit.
Michael Scott: Well, just keep the tags on and you can return it.
Kelly: I took the tags off already.
Michael Scott: Well, that's not my fault, okay? Just- We're not gonna pay for a bathing suit.

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