Home Improvement Quotes

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Home Improvement

Tim Allen stars as Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, host of a local tool show, who is always looking to add "more power", whether he's at work, in his garage, or raising his three boys with his wife Jill.

Starring: Tim Allen, Patricia Richardson, Earl Hindman, Zachery Ty Bryan, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Taran Noah Smith, Richard Karn, Debbe Dunning.
Recurring Actors: William O'Leary, Blake Clark, Jimmy Labriola, Charles Robinson, Mickey Jones, Gary McGurk, Casey Sander, Shirley Prestia.
Original Run: 1991-1999.

Quote of the Day

Quote from Jill in Some Like It Hot Rod

Jill: Well, maybe I was personifying the hot rod as a rival for Tim's love, then transferring my feelings of jealousy to it.
Wilson: Well, Jill...
Jill: Or it could just be about the balance of power in a relationship. You know, I have always had a problem subjugating my ego to the strong-willed male - i.e. my dad. You know, it just taps right into my preadolescent, deep-seated feelings of rejection.
Wilson: You know, Jill, the psychological knowledge you're acquiring at college can give you some very powerful insights.
Jill: You're telling me.
Wilson: On the other hand, a little knowledge and an active imagination can make a person cuckoo.

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Popular Quotes

Quote from Al in Dead Weight

Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Al: Down?
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.

Quote from Jill in Back in the Saddle Shoes Again

Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.

Quote from Tim in At Sea

Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".

Quote Collections

  • Christmas Quotes

    “Christmas Quotes”

    Enjoy a selection of quotes from classic Christmas episodes of Home Improvement.

    35 quotes