Home Improvement Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- 301 Maybe, Baby
- 302 Aisle See You in My Dreams
- 303 This Joke's for You
- 304 A Sew, Sew Evening
- 305 Arrivederci, Binford
- 306 Crazy for You
- 307 Blow Up
- 308 Be True to Your Tool
- 309 Dollars and Sense
- 310 A Frozen Moment
- 311 Feud for Thought
- 312 'Twas the Blight Before Christmas
- 313 Slip Sleddin' Away
- 314 Dream On
- 315 Reel Men
- 316 The Colonel
- 317 Room for Change
- 318 The Eve of Construction
- 319 Too Many Cooks
- 320 It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims
- 321 Fifth Anniversary
- 322 Swing Time
- 323 What You See is What You Get
- 324 Reality Bytes
- 325 The Great Race II
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Season 6
- Season 7
- Season 8
Home Improvement
Tim Allen stars as Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, host of a local tool show, who is always looking to add "more power", whether he's at work, in his garage, or raising his three boys with his wife Jill.
Starring:
Tim Allen, Patricia Richardson, Earl Hindman, Zachery Ty Bryan, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Taran Noah Smith, Richard Karn, Debbe Dunning.
Recurring Actors:
William O'Leary, Blake Clark, Jimmy Labriola, Charles Robinson, Mickey Jones, Gary McGurk, Casey Sander, Shirley Prestia.
Original Run: 1991-1999.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Benny in Jill's Surprise Party
Benny: Hey, everybody!
Tim: Benny, what are you doing here?
Benny: I heard you were having a party for Jill. How come I wasn't invited?
Tim: Well... I didn't want you to feel obligated to bring her a present.
Benny: You know me. I never feel obligated.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Al in Dead Weight
Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Al: Down?
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.
Quote from Jill in Back in the Saddle Shoes Again
Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote Collections
Trending Quotes
Quote from Tim in Birds of a Feather Flock to Taylor
Tim: It must've been a great day, watching that first T-Bird roll off that line.
Eddie: Oh, great day. But they were all good days back then. You know, we used to knock out about 100 cars a day. And after work, Hick and me, we'd go down and have a stinky.
Tim: Stinky?
Eddie: Yeah, it's a sandwich.
Hick: My own invention - Limburger cheese, sauerkraut, big slice of Bermuda onion, and some hot mustard.
Eddie: Whoo-hoo.
Tim: Why don't you just lick a skunk?
Eddie: And, Tim, they still make a great stinky at... [to camera] down at Big Mike's Tavern at fourth and Jefferson! Hey, that ought to take care of our tab.
Hick: Yeah, right.
Tim: Big Mike's Tavern. Boy, that sounds like a man's bar there.
Hick: You know it, junior. Pool tables, dark wood, American beer.
Eddie: We go there all the time, fourth and Jefferson!