Benny: So, Tim, we haven't seen much of you lately. Should I take that personally?
Tim: Yes. I've been working really hard on my hot rod. I was trying to get this thing done by Friday.
Harry: Well, you must have been busy. You haven't spent any money here in weeks. I had to cancel my trip to Hawaii.
Al: I just talked to Delores. She didn't say anything about a trip.
Harry: Delores wasn't invited. Besides, she's on her own vacation. She's scaring the bulls in Pamplona.

Barbra Canfield: Jill, you're the psychologist. What do you think is going on under the surface with these guys?
Jill: Well, it's very common. Often a man feels threatened when a woman usurps his role as hunter-gatherer. I think that's Diane & Kathleen's husbands reacted the way they did.
Barbra Canfield: Well, why do you think your husband is so understanding? Why is he the exception to the rule?
Jill: Well, Tim is one of a kind. I mean, Tim breaks all the rules. Tim breaks everything.

Barbra Canfield: Jill, how did your husband react when you told him you were going back to school?
Jill: Tim?
Barbra Canfield: If that's your husband.
Jill: Well, as memory serves, he was very supportive.
Kathleen: Boy, I wish I had a husband like yours. Mine's a total caveman.
Diane: Mine, too. When I told him I wanted my own career, he couldn't even articulate words. He just kind of went...
Jill: [grunts]
Diane: How did you know that?
Jill: Lucky guess.

Jill: All these women were trashing their husbands. And I didn't wanna do that, you know. I wanted to explain Tim's behavior.
Wilson: Well, who were these women?
Jill: Oh, they were very successful professional women. One was a doctor. The other was an economist.
Wilson: Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm.
Jill: Oh, I see what you're saying.
Wilson: All I said was, "Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm."
Jill: But what you meant was that the reason that I was analyzing Tim was because I was insecure around these successful women and felt I needed to show off how much I knew about psychology.
Wilson: Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm.
Jill: You make another good point. I mean, I was validated for what I said, so I went on and on and on and on.
Wilson: Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm.
Jill: I sold Tim out to make myself look good.
Wilson: Mm.
Jill: Wow. You're really tough on me sometimes, Wilson. But you don't make me feel judged. You know? You are just a genius. How do you do that?
Wilson: I just tell it like it is.

Barbra Canfield: Jill, what did your husband say when you told him you wanted to be a psychologist?
Jill: His exact words?
Barbra Canfield: Yeah.
Jill: Were... "What for? You should become a turret lathe operator."
Marty: [watching on TV] Yeah.
Tim: [yells at TV] They make good money!

Tim: This reminds me of my first appearance on TV.
Marty: Yeah, when you set your hair on fire.

Jill: Oh, and I can never talk to him about what I'm studying because he thinks psychology is totally bogus.
Kathleen: So you must be pretty resentful.
Jill: Oh, no, no, please. Don't misconstrue what I'm saying as anger towards my husband. I could never be angry at a man who's in such a vulnerable state. [Tim groans as he watches on TV]
Barbra Canfield: Exactly what do you mean by a vulnerable state?
Jill: Well, he's in mid-life crisis. I mean, he's emotionally fragile.
[as the guys watch in the hardware store:]
Marty: Oh, you poor hunter-gatherer, you.
Benny: Let me get you a tissue.
Al: Would a hug help?

Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. But, of course, you know that. That's probably why you tuned in. [chuckles] And, of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland. Give it up for Al here.
Al: Thank you. Thanks a lot.
Tim: Well, as you might have noticed by our clever sign, it is Hot Rod Week on Tool Time. And we are just counting down the days when I finish my '46 Ford convertible right here. We're calling this our Countdown to Coolness.
Al: You know, how come we never devote a week to my car?
Tim: That'd be exciting. Tool Time salute to old station wagons. [yawns]

Tim: There's been big historical moments in all of television. Remember the first step on the moon? Right in a... [blows raspberry] Oh, yuck! The Berlin Wall falling down. [German accent] "Look out. Those big bricks, they hurt me, dude! Look out!" But today, on this sound stage, we're gonna break all records. This is going to be the biggest thing in the history of television. I'm gonna pick out the color of my convertible top. Huh!
Al: That's right. So why don't we bring out the man who will show Tim all of his color choices, auto design specialist, George Sparky Henderson!
Sparky: Hey, Al.
Tim: Welcome to the show. Thanks for coming, Sparky.
Sparky: Tim. I want to say it's an honor, your having me here as part of this historic moment.
Tim: I couldn't do it without you.

Tim: Let's take a look at some colors.
Sparky: All right. Love to, Tim. We've got lots of samples here. But our wheel, thank you, Heidi, is going to help determine what is the best color for the top of your car. Now, we have here the color that you've used for the exterior, a ruby pearl. Excellent choice, Tim.
Tim: Well, yes.
Sparky: Then the interior, Tim. You chose Rhone, so we line up these two colors, and then the inner wheel will show which color will best complement these two.
Al: You know, the burgundy's awfully tasteful.
Tim & Sparky: Wrong!