Rock Lannigan Quotes

Quote from Flying Sauces

Tim: Rock, what have you got for us today?
Rock: Well, Tim, I'm a riveter. I work up on the high steel. And I'll tell you, it makes it darn hard to get a hot lunch up there. But I've come up with an easy way to make a delicious grilled-cheese sandwich.
Tim: You hear my stomach growling?
Rock: Oh, you're gonna love this one, Tim. The fellas call it "cheddar ȧ la Rock".
Tim: All right.
Rock: I use only sharp Wisconsin cheese. Because, after all, in Wisconsin, cheese is cheese.
Tim: American cheese from American cows. [moos] Look out!
Rock: I spread on a generous dollop of oleo with my trowel. Then I take the cheese and I stick it between the bread.
Tim: Good place for it.


Quote from Flying Sauces

Rock: And then I... Tim, I kind of hate to give this little secret away.
Tim: Come on, Rock, let it go. It's a Tool Time crowd. [grunts] [audience grunt]
Rock: All right, all right. Pete. I sprinkle on a little oregano for flavoring. And then I fire it up.
Tim: What do you use to heat that with?
Rock: Well, that's one of the secrets of cooking on the job site. I go straight for my blowtorch.
Tim: And that's no ordinary blowtorch. That's a Binford 3000 Turbo Ignition Switch torch.
Rock: Yeah, you betcha, Tim. See, the trick... you got to toast it nice and evenly on both sides so that you seal in that delicious Wisconsin flavor. Try that, Timmy.
Tim: [takes a bite] It's hot. [groans]
Rock: Might want to let that cheese cool down a little bit there.

Quote from Stereo-Typical

Tim: Anyway, after the show, we got a terrific letter from the guys at K&B Construction Company. Boy, were they pumped. They wrote me, and I was excited to see them. So I've invited them down here to Tool Time. I want you all to give a big Tool Time welcome to the boys from K&B Construction. Bay City, Michigan: Rock, Dwayne, Pete and Juke! It's really nice to have you back again.
Rock: Great to be back, Timmy. Listen, we were so inspired by Janeen's performance on that saw, next day we went out to the job site and started listening to the sounds of the tools around us. We kept hearing the reverberation of steel on steel. Sledgehammers cracking concrete... [Tim grunts] and jackhammers busting cement!

Quote from Pump You Up

Al: Well, Rock, what do you do to stay in shape?
Rock: Well, during lunch breaks, I teach Jazzercise.
Tim: [laughs] That doesn't sound too manly, Rock.
Rock: We do it 80 stories up on a steel girder.
Tim: Well, that'll put wind in your leotard.

Quote from Desperately Seeking Willow

Al: Well, tell me this, since St. Patty's falls on a Tuesday, how do you find time to celebrate?
Dwayne: It is a challenging dilemma. But being skilled craftspersons, we've designed our own accouterments for just such a situation.
Tim: Well, your accouterments look suspiciously like just a green tool box.
Pete: Well, to the untrained eye, Tim. Open her up.
Tim: Aww.
Pete: Voila. A traditional Irish feast.
Tim: Look at that. Corned beef and cabbage.
Rock: Yeah, you betcha. And look down in this compartment. Instead of your nails and screws, you got your spuds and stews.
Al: Ah, it's a little oily there. [eats]
Rock: Yeah, well, that's where we typically keep the WD-40.

Quote from Up Your Alley

Rock: Mrs. Taylor, I'm terribly sorry to hear about your mother.
Jill: What about my mother?
Tim: Rock. Ix-nay on-thay eft-thay car-thay, please-ay.
Rock: Enough said, Timmy.

Quote from Read My Hips

Tim: It's gettin' late, guys. I'm gonna call my wife real quick.
Pete: No, wait, Tim. Am I hearing this right? You have to check in with the little woman?
Rock: Those pants come in a man's size, Timmy?
Tim: Hey, back off, fellas. I'm showing a little consideration. You got a problem with this?

Quote from Bell Bottom Blues

Tim: Come on. Anybody? What? I'm the only secure man here? Guess so.
Rock: Aw, heck. I'm secure. I appreciate you, Timmy.
Tim: I appreciate you, Rock. [they awkwardly pat each other on the back] Hey, all right.
Rock: Hey, you know, that wasn't so bad. [they hug]
Tim: Yeah, we're secure, buddy. [Rock lifts Tim up] Oh, yeah, are we ever secure.
Al: You know, Tim, in Europe men kiss each other on both cheeks. [Rock lowers Tim to the ground]

Quote from A Hardware Habit to Break

Tim: I want to say how happy I am that you all joined us here tonight. We are here to celebrate.
Sparky: Celebrate what, Tim?
Tim: America!
Sparky: America, yeah.
Rock: Hey, if you're organizing a secret militia, Timmy, count me in.

Quote from A Hardware Habit to Break

Tim: And now we'll all have to buy our hardware at one of those big faceless chains instead of a friendly place like Harry's.
Rock: I got you. We're calling our unit "Harry's." I know where we can get guns. [Tim takes Rock's drink away from him]