Al: What is becoming of Al Borland? I mean, is my sensitivity being obliterated by my overwhelming masculinity?
Lisa: I don't think so, Al.

Jill: Tim, which do you think the audience is gonna be more excited about, your primered car or the two tool girls?
Tim: Come on! Tool Time, guys watching... The primered hot rod.
Jill: You are so sweet. I love that you rather look at cars than beautiful women.
Tim: Really?
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: You know what that also means?
Jill: What?
Tim: I'd leave you in a second if I met the right Corvette.

Jill: What would happen if Binford asked Bob Vila to come and co-host Tool Time whenever he felt like it?
Tim: I'd probably hit him in the head with a board like I did last time.

Randy: Uh... you know, Lauren, it's really great that we could have our first date on your birthday. I hope I picked the right restaurant.
Lauren: No. I love it. Are you OK? You seem a little tense.
Randy: I do? Why?
Lauren: You're buttering your hand.
Randy: Dry skin.

Randy: Gosh, Wilson! I'm just worried that Lauren's not gonna like this date. The more worried I get, the more I screw up.
Wilson: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. [Randy sighs] You know, Randy, I'm reminded of the modern-day guru, Baba Ram Dass. His philosophy is "Be here now."
Randy: Well, I am here now. I think that's the problem.
Wilson: No, no, no, no. What Baba Ram Dass means is be here in the moment, don't worry about what will be, savor what is. Say what's on your mind.
Randy: Well, what's on my mind is that Lauren must think I'm a dork.
Wilson: I've seen the way Lauren looks at you. Her eyes definitely do not say "dork."
Randy: Really?
Wilson: Go to her, Randy.
Randy: Well, I would, but she's in the ladies room.
Wilson: Wait.

Tim: I haven't talked to you in such a long time. You look great!
Lisa: So do you, but something's different.
Al: No bandages.
Lisa: That's it.

Tim: First off, Lisa's coming back. And second of all...
Brad: Lisa? Your old tool girl?
Tim: That's not all. We're gonna have...
Brad: Wait. Will Heidi still be there?
Tim: Yeah, but that's not the best part.
Brad: Two tool girls?
Tim: Yes, Brad!

Lisa: Hey. Big news. You're looking at Detroit Memorial's newest paramedic.
Al: Congratulations!
Lisa: Thank you!
Al: Boy, it didn't take you long to find a job!
Lisa: Well, they said three years working with Tim was like ten years' experience in emergency.
Al: Ain't that the truth?

Tim: All right, I shouldn't have invited Lisa on the show without asking you how you felt about it.
Heidi: Tim, I wouldn't have minded if I felt like my work was appreciated.
Tim: Come on, I appreciate your work. You know that.
Heidi: No, I don't. You never say anything about it.
Tim: You're a very important part of Tool Time. You're the one who gets there early every day, sets up all the projects. You're the first one out front with a fire extinguisher.
Heidi: Well, that's called self-defense.

Randy: Mom, you are not gonna believe it. Lauren and I are finally going out on a date.
Jill: Congratulations!
Randy: Yes. This brings Lauren and me to a whole new level. By the way, what does that mean?
Jill: Well, that you're about to enter a more mature, evolved relationship based on trust and communication. Which means you'll have to be constantly in tune with Lauren's innermost feelings.
Randy: [grunts] Oh, miss the old level.