Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Thanks, but No Thanks’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

Home Improvement: Thanks, but No Thanks

810. Thanks, but No Thanks

Aired November 24, 1998

Jill encourages Tim to be supportive after Marty and Nancy break up, but the family is surprised when Tim invites Marty and the girls to move in with them.

Quote from Jill

Jill: How was your day?
Tim: Not so good. Did you know that Marty is sleeping at the hardware store?
Jill: So you're jealous Harry didn't ask you first?

Rate

Quote from Tim

Tim: Ah, but it must be great spending the night with all these tools, huh? Waking up with the fresh smell of solvents. A rack of ball cocks. But why dream, you know? Jill's never gonna toss me out.

Quote from Brad

Brad: Here you go, Mark. Until Dad puts in the bunk bed, I'm lending you my good sleeping bag.
Mark: In other words, you get the bed.
Brad: Yeah, of course. The older brother always gets the bed.
Mark: That's not fair.
Brad: Okay. Stronger brother, better looking brother. Hey, I've got a million of them.
Mark: Yeah? Well, I'm smarter.
Brad: Then how come you're sleeping on the floor?

Quote from Jill

Tim: I thought that was a children's book.
Jill: No. The Secret Garden is a children's book. You had My Secret Garden. I don't even want you to read that book.

Quote from Tim

Tim: Now let's talk about the inside of your house. Let's say you have an interior wall that you want to spruce up, make it a little more fun.
Al: That's right. If you want to cover a dull, unattractive surface, sponge painting is a great option.
Tim: Or you can grow a beard.

Quote from Tim

Jill: Sending a Thanksgiving meal to Randy in Costa Rica.
Tim: He can run, but he just can't hide.
Jill: I didn't cook it, I bought it.
Tim: Well, then, he really has something to be thankful for.

Quote from Jill

Jill: Guys, look, just let me talk to your dad for a minute, okay?
Brad: Yeah, this really sucks.
Jill: Don't talk to your father like that. [Brad & Mark exit] This really sucks! You know, I love those girls and I love Marty, but how could you invite three people to live here without even talking to me? Without talking to the boys?
Tim: I couldn't help it. It just happened. You said, "Bend over backwards."
Jill: Well, if I bend over any further backwards, I'm gonna be staring myself in the butt.

Quote from Harry

Tim: Why is he telling Benny this stuff and not me?
Harry: Because Marty feels like he's hit rock bottom. Then, when he sees Benny, he remembers what rock bottom really looks like.

Quote from Harry

Benny: Good morning, Mr. Taylor. How are you enjoying sleeping in Harry's back room?
Marty: No windows, no air, no heat...
Harry: No charge.
Marty: No complaints.
Harry: You know, that's where I sleep when I tell Delores I'm visiting my sister.
Benny: I didn't know you had a sister.
Harry: I don't.

Quote from Harry

Marty: I won't be staying long. I just need a little time to put some things together, then, I'm back on my feet. Oh, man. It's my brother. Hey, remember, not a word to him about me staying back there. [Marty & Harry look at Benny]
Benny: Why do you guys always act like I'm a moron?
Harry: I'll explain later when I have time to talk really slow.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode