Jill: How was your day?
Tim: Not so good. Did you know that Marty is sleeping at the hardware store?
Jill: So you're jealous Harry didn't ask you first?

Tim: Ah, but it must be great spending the night with all these tools, huh? Waking up with the fresh smell of solvents. A rack of ball cocks. But why dream, you know? Jill's never gonna toss me out.

Brad: Here you go, Mark. Until Dad puts in the bunk bed, I'm lending you my good sleeping bag.
Mark: In other words, you get the bed.
Brad: Yeah, of course. The older brother always gets the bed.
Mark: That's not fair.
Brad: Okay. Stronger brother, better looking brother. Hey, I've got a million of them.
Mark: Yeah? Well, I'm smarter.
Brad: Then how come you're sleeping on the floor?

Tim: I thought that was a children's book.
Jill: No. The Secret Garden is a children's book. You had My Secret Garden. I don't even want you to read that book.

Tim: Now let's talk about the inside of your house. Let's say you have an interior wall that you want to spruce up, make it a little more fun.
Al: That's right. If you want to cover a dull, unattractive surface, sponge painting is a great option.
Tim: Or you can grow a beard.

Jill: Sending a Thanksgiving meal to Randy in Costa Rica.
Tim: He can run, but he just can't hide.
Jill: I didn't cook it, I bought it.
Tim: Well, then, he really has something to be thankful for.

Jill: Guys, look, just let me talk to your dad for a minute, okay?
Brad: Yeah, this really sucks.
Jill: Don't talk to your father like that. [Brad & Mark exit] This really sucks! You know, I love those girls and I love Marty, but how could you invite three people to live here without even talking to me? Without talking to the boys?
Tim: I couldn't help it. It just happened. You said, "Bend over backwards."
Jill: Well, if I bend over any further backwards, I'm gonna be staring myself in the butt.

Tim: Why is he telling Benny this stuff and not me?
Harry: Because Marty feels like he's hit rock bottom. Then, when he sees Benny, he remembers what rock bottom really looks like.

Benny: Good morning, Mr. Taylor. How are you enjoying sleeping in Harry's back room?
Marty: No windows, no air, no heat...
Harry: No charge.
Marty: No complaints.
Harry: You know, that's where I sleep when I tell Delores I'm visiting my sister.
Benny: I didn't know you had a sister.
Harry: I don't.

Marty: I won't be staying long. I just need a little time to put some things together, then, I'm back on my feet. Oh, man. It's my brother. Hey, remember, not a word to him about me staying back there. [Marty & Harry look at Benny]
Benny: Why do you guys always act like I'm a moron?
Harry: I'll explain later when I have time to talk really slow.