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‘Some Like It Hot Rod’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Home Improvement: Some Like It Hot Rod

411. Some Like It Hot Rod

Aired December 6, 1994

After Tim and the boys leave Jill to paint scenes for Mark's Christmas pageant all by herself, she moves Tim's hot rod out of the garage unaware of a incoming snow storm.

Quote from Wilson

Jill: Wilson, I've been thinking about this. Do you think that subconsciously I left the hot rod out in the snow to get back at Tim for dropping that two-ton beam on my station wagon?
Wilson: Well, Jill, that's a very interesting theory, but I'm sure that your leaving the car out was just an accident.
Jill: Yeah. But you know what Freud says about that, "There are no accidents."
Wilson: Well, obviously Freud never saw Tool Time.

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Quote from Tim

Jill: Get in. See if it meets your approval.
Tim: Jill, this is the greatest gift you've ever given me.
Jill: I gave you three children.
Tim: Yeah, but none of them came out this clean.

Quote from Brad

Jill: How could I have done something so stupid?
Brad: They say when two people have been married for a long time they start acting like each other.
Jill: You're not helping, Brad.

Quote from Jill

Tim: I've worked on this car for three years. And you send it outside like some stray cat. This is like a member of the family to me.
Jill: You wait a minute. You just wait a minute. Every single thing I have ever owned, you have managed to puncture, singe, pulverize, crack, crush, melt or explode, and every single time I have managed to come up with the compassion to forgive you. But this one time this happens, do you have the same compassion to forgive me? No! Thank you so much.
Tim: Honey, l... [Jill slams the door] Wait a minute. You are really good. You screw up and I'm getting yelled at. You are really, really good.

Quote from Randy

Tim: My hot rod!
Randy: You always said you wanted a snowmobile.

Quote from Tim

Jill: Hey, if you had moved the hot rod out of the garage as I asked you to, then... then... you would've remembered to put the cover on.
Tim: This is unbelievable. Did I blame you when I dropped the beam on your car?
Jill: Yes, you did.
Tim: And remember how lame that was?
Jill: Yes, I do.

Quote from Jill

Jill: Well, maybe I was personifying the hot rod as a rival for Tim's love, then transferring my feelings of jealousy to it.
Wilson: Well, Jill...
Jill: Or it could just be about the balance of power in a relationship. You know, I have always had a problem subjugating my ego to the strong-willed male - i.e. my dad. You know, it just taps right into my preadolescent, deep-seated feelings of rejection.
Wilson: You know, Jill, the psychological knowledge you're acquiring at college can give you some very powerful insights.
Jill: You're telling me.
Wilson: On the other hand, a little knowledge and an imagination can make a person cuckoo.

Quote from Jill

Jill: Guys, when it's snowing you're supposed to come in through the garage, not track it all over the house. When did it start snowing?
Brad: A few hours ago. Mom, didn't you notice the blizzard?
Jill: No. I was inside painting all day while the rest of my family was out having fun.
Brad: Where's the hot rod?
Jill: The hot rod.
Brad: Yeah. You know, the thing Dad kisses every night before he goes to bed.
Jill: Oh, my God! I left it outside.
Randy: Well, you covered it, right?
Jill: Wrong. [opens the garage door]
Randy: It's covered now.

Quote from Jill

Tim: You did this?
Jill: Honey. Honey, it was just an accident. You know, it wasn't snowing when I moved it outside.
Tim: You did this? Look at all the snow in here. The interior's wrecked. The carpet's all wet. Look, my gauges are all fogged up.
Jill: Well, couldn't you just take them out and dry them off and then put 'em back together? You love to take things apart and put 'em back together.
Tim: How'd this happen?
Jill: Well, honey, I've been under a lot of pressure lately, you know. I've had the pageant and Christmas shopping and school and my parents coming next week.
Tim: There's no excuse for this. Why don't you just admit you screwed up?
Jill: Well! I think that you could be a little bit more understanding. I mean, it's not like this was my fault.
Tim: Whose fault was this?
Jill: Yours.
Tim: Hello?!

Quote from Jill

Jill: Tim... I've been thinking and maybe you're right. Maybe I have a problem admitting I'm wrong. You know, I think that it has to do with my relationship with my mother.
Tim: No, no, no. Please, not this "my mother made me screw up" again.
Al: You know, I have a lot of issues with my mother.
Tim: Here we go.
Jill: You see, to my mother an apology was like an admission of guilt, which gave her the right to give me a nine-hour lecture on what a bad person I was.
Tim: That's fascinating, Jill, it really is. But I'm not your mom. I thought you'd pick up on that since I stopped wearing my hair in a beehive.
Jill: Tim, the mother-child relationship has all these complexities that affect all aspects of your life.
Al: Boy, is that true. No matter how hard you fight against it, you always are your mother's child.
Tim: Hey, I got a great idea. Let's all get together tomorrow night and watch Terms of Endearment.

Quote from Jill

Jill: You think I'm reading too much into this?
Wilson: Yes, I do.
Jill: So basically I just screwed up.
Wilson: Yes, you did.
Jill: Yeah. You're probably right. Tim just accused me of not being able to admit it when I'm wrong. I do have a tendency to, you know, just pass blame on to other people. Of course, Tim was the one who didn't move the hot rod out of the garage, not to mention the fact that he went to a party. And then Brad and Randy went to a game and...
Wilson: Jill. Jill.
Jill: [grunts] I'm doing it again. Right. Thanks, Wilson.

Quote from Al

Tim: The guy's gonna be here in 15 minutes. I am dead.
Al: I gotta go.
Tim: No, stick around, Al.
Al: No. I mean I gotta go. [walks into the backyard]
Tim: We've got a bathroom in the house, Al!

Quote from Jill

Tim: I gotta go and tweak some stuff out.
Jill: No, wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Um... Tell me some more about this man.
Tim: What man?
Jill: This editor. How old is he?
Tim: I don't know.
Jill: Where was he born?
Tim: I don't know, New Jersey.
Jill: What kind of books and movies does he like?
Tim: Books and movies?
Jill: A guy like that...
Tim: Well, who would know?
Jill: What kind of books and movies do you like?
Tim: What difference does that make?

Quote from Al

Tim: Hey. It's good. What do you call this?
Al: Ham and cheese. The trick is, though, to add a little dill to your mustard.
Tim: Al, you live life on the edge.
Al: You know, Tim, I don't want you to get the wrong impression about my relationship with my mother. Yes, we've had some difficult moments, and, yes, she can be overbearing - suffocating, really - but she means well. However, she does have a pretty tart tongue.
[When Al hears Tim snoring, he grabs Tim's half of the sandwich, takes a bite, and puts it back in Tim's hand]

Quote from Jill

Tim: Whoa!
Jill: Hi, honey.
Tim: The car looks dry.
Jill: It's dry as a bone.
Tim: How'd you do this?
Jill: [holds up hair dryers] I'm packing heat. I even conditioned the leather.
Tim: Oh!
Jill: I came down in the middle of the night and saw you two sleeping on the couch with little pieces of dill stuck to your lips. It was very cute. I didn't have the heart to wake you so I just decided that I would finish it all myself.
Tim: I can't believe you did this.
Jill: Well, after all, it was my fault.
Tim: I don't know, I think I must have some dill in my ear. Could you say that a bit louder?
Jill: Don't push your luck.

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