Benny: What's the look?
Tim: Oh, come on. It's just the most potent weapon in a woman's arsenal. Her face will transform right in front of you. Her lips get really tight like this.
Marty: Yeah. And then her whole face shrivels up. It's like...
Harry: Yeah. And then her eyes get real small and meet right in the middle of her head like a Cyclops in a housecoat.
Tim: Just when you think you can't take anymore, she lines you up and finishes you off.
Benny: Ohh! I'm never getting married. And not just because women can't stand me.

Harry: Well, look, he's taking me to the game first because I'm his hardware guy.
Marty: No, no, no. If anyone deserves to go, it's me. I'm his brother.
Al: Excuse me. I'm the one that risks his life every day working next to him.
Marty: Uh, the man's got a point.
Al: All right, OK.

Tim: Well, you got it made. Unattached guy like you... You don't need permission to go to 40 Pistons games.
Wilson: Uh-oh. I take it Jill was not too thrilled with your recent purchase.
Tim: That's putting it mildly. First, she gave me the look.
Wilson: The look!
Tim: You know about the look?
Wilson: Oh, Tim, every man knows about the look. Wives have been giving their husbands the look for untold centuries. As a matter of fact, the look was the reason brides started wearing veils. It was long believed that the penetrating stare of a bride could weaken her husband and render him impotent.
Tim: I thought that was caused by all the brown liquor at the reception.
Wilson: Well, that could do it too, Tim.

Delores: Harry, I'm telling you to go get her.
Harry: I'm telling you no.
Tim: Look out, guys. Here it comes.
[As Tim and Marty look away, Delores gives Harry the look. Harry tries to withstand it while Al and Benny freeze in terror.]
Benny: Oh, my God! I've never seen anything like it. Where's the podiatrist? I'll go get her myself.
Al: Listen, I'll drive you there.
Harry: I'll show you the way!

Tim: Let's not even worry about the play-offs. It's too far away. They'll never make it! What am I talking about? They're a lousy team this year.
Jill: You spent $4,000 on a lousy team?
Tim: Let me explain something about basketball.
Jill: All right.
Tim: You cannot get season tickets like this with a good team. You gotta ride out the bad years, hoping for a good one.
Jill: That's what you said 17 years ago when I married you and I'm still waiting for a good one.

Harry: Hey, Tim, you have to keep the tickets.
Tim: You know, I don't think I can. No, no, you know, I don't know if this is gonna be worth it. Every time I go to a Pistons game, I'll get the look.
Marty: Yeah. And what about the look you're going to get when you get home? [Tim shudders] That's two looks per game.
Tim: Times 40 games, that's 80 looks. And that doesn't count the looks I get for just doing normal bad things.

Wilson: So what was your counteroffer?
Tim: I don't think that applies here.
Wilson: Because you didn't make one.
Tim: No, I did not.
Wilson: You know, Tim, I'm reminded of an old philosopher who once said: "You have to give a little, take a little..."
Tim: "Let your poor heart break a little."
Both: [sing] That's the story of That's the glory of love.

Jill: If the Pistons make the play-offs, can I buy some games?
Tim: What do you want with play-off games, honey?
Jill: I'm gonna take my husband.
Tim: Hey. Your husband's a very lucky man.
Delores: How come you never say anything nice like that to me?
Harry: Your husband isn't as lucky.

Jill: I can't believe that you made a decision like this without discussing it with me first.
Tim: Well, Bud needed an answer right away. And you buy a lot of stuff without asking me.
Jill: Like what?
Tim: This couch.
Jill: How can you compare the two? I bought the couch because we need a place to sit!
Tim: That's why I bought the tickets. I want to go to the game, I need a place to sit.

Tim: Thank goodness we shut our eyes at the right time, Marty.
Marty: Man, they're dropping like flies. Hey, Tim. You gotta stand up to Jill.
Tim: Oh.
Marty: No, no. 'Cause every time one of us gets beaten down by the look... a little piece of every man dies.
Tim: And I think we all know what that piece is.