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‘Jill's Passion’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Home Improvement: Jill's Passion

707. Jill's Passion

Aired November 11, 1997

Jill starts thinking about her relationship with Tim when a guy at the gym asks her out after mistaking them for brother and sister.

Quote from Tim

Jill: Tim, I feel like we're drifting apart.
Tim: We're not drifting apart.
Jill: You don't think so?
Tim: No. Our relationship is like any couple that's been married this long. It's comfortable. It's... It's like an old pair of shoes.
Jill: That's what our marriage has become to you? Worn-out footwear?
Tim: Not worn-out. Broken in. Stretched out. This isn't helping, is it?
Jill: No.

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Quote from Wilson

Heidi: Welcome to Tool Time on location. All this week we're gonna show you how to remodel and organize your garage.
Al: And as you can see, this garage is crammed full of every object imaginable.
Tim: There's one object missing. I think it's called an automobile.
Al: That's right. The owner of this garage has a classic Studebaker, but because it's so crowded in here, [bagpipes sound] he's got no place to put it.
Tim: First you want to do is start getting rid of the big objects, like this totem pole.
Wilson: No, no, no! I could never part with my pole!
Tim: This is my neighbor, Wilson. It's his garage we're trying to organize.
Wilson: Oh, my old bagpipes. [bagpipes sound]
Al: To clean out your garage, you have to part with stuff.
Tim: That's right. Let's start by getting rid of this old bathtub.
Wilson: No, no, no, no, no. That's my special tub right there. You know, in the Roaring Twenties, my father used this to make bathtub gin.
Tim: That would explain the duck without a liver and with a case of jaundice.

Quote from Wilson

Al: Well, how about dumping the tuba?
Tim: Yeah.
Wilson: No way!
Tim: How about the dog sled?
Wilson: Don't be ridiculous.
Al: The cannon?
Wilson: Never! [bagpipes drone]
Tim: How about something small?
Wilson: No, no, no, no. These are the gloves I wore in my exhibition bout with Sonny Liston.
Al: You were a boxer?
Wilson: Oh, yes, indeedy. Back then I was known as Sugar Wilson Wilson. [laughs]
Tim: To your corners, fellas. Get your own punching bag. This punching bag is mine.
Al: Well, sometimes to clear out your garage, the first thing you have to get rid of is the owner.

Quote from Randy

Jill: What is all that?
Brad: It's all the stuff Wilson's giving away.
Mark: He gave me his boar.
Randy: Yeah. We tried to give Wilson our bore, but Mark wouldn't stay.

Quote from Jill

Tim: It's been a long time.
Jill: I know. I know. But you know how hard it is for me when I don't feel close to you.
Tim: Well, it's hard for me to feel close to you if we don't have sex.
Jill: Well, then, what are we gonna do?
Tim: You said we were out of tune, so, uh, let's get a tune-up. What do you say I take you to Sorentino's on Saturday? A candlelight dinner, you and I?
Jill: That sounds pretty good. Although, you are on the rebound from Pee Wee.
Tim: [sighs] I think I can get over Pee Wee. Let me ask you a question. If there was one thing you could change about our relationship, what would it be?
Jill: I wish that we would talk more. And I wish sometimes, if I'm feeling down, that you would put your arms around me and just hold me.
Tim: That's two things.

Quote from Tim

Tim: Hi. Welcome back to Tool Time and our special segment, "Organizing Your Garage." Al has just installed the last of our cabinets.
Al: As before, we used wood screws on the rails that rung along the inside of the perimeter. And as you can see, we built the lower cabinets extra large so they can fit even the most odd-shaped objects.
Tim: Like Al. He fits right in there. You can barely even see him. [muffled] "I can't get out of here." But the best news is now we have room for the Studebaker.
Al: Mm-hm.
Tim: The cabinets are all finished now, Al.
Al: That's right. And it looks great.
Tim: Best of all, I think we did a good job of organizing Wilson's garage. What do you think?
Wilson: Save for one minor detail.
Tim: Yeah. Uh...
[Tim and Al follow Wilson out of the garage into the yard, which is full of Wilson's eclectic possesions]
Tim: Uh, tune in tomorrow for another special Tool Time: "Organizing a Yard Sale."

Quote from Jill

Tim: Good game, guys!
Jill: Well, hi!
Tim: Hi.
Jill: I didn't know you were gonna be here.
Tim: Oh, yeah. Important meeting I had this morning got pushed off. A little b-ball seemed like a good idea.
Jill: Who was the meeting with?
Tim: A guy named Pee Wee.
Jill: Ah. From the prestigious firm, Pee Wee, Pee Wee, Pee Wee and Pee Wee.
Tim: No. This guy Pee Wee's got this radio I want for the '46 rod. It's a one-of-a-kind. It's NOS.
Jill: NOS? What's that?
Tim: It's called "New Old Stock." Its solenoid operates right from a '46 Ford. It's got five-station pre-set.
Jill: SIA.
Tim: What?
Jill: "Sorry I Asked."

Quote from Tim

Jill: Oh, guess what? Patty got opera tickets. We're gonna go see Carmen tonight.
Tim: Oh, no! Carmen, the opera. Now, if they had an opera named Car Man, I'd be there.
Jill: Um, Mom called. She said that family reunion's gonna be in January now.
Tim: [sighs] I'm beginning to hate those reunions, you know. All these weird relatives picking at me. Aunt Sally pinching my cheek. "Give me a little lippy, lippy." I gotta go. See you later.
Jill: See ya.

Quote from Tim

Tim: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What have I told you a thousand times?
Brad: I know. No medieval combat in the house.

Quote from Tim

Jill: Tim, we gotta talk. I would have talked last night when I got home. But I could tell you were doing that thing where you pretend you're sleeping so you wouldn't have to talk to me about the opera.
Tim: If you knew I was pretending, why didn't you say something?
Jill: Because you go to that much trouble to tune me out, what would be the point?
Tim: You're right. If the system works, why mess with it?

Quote from Tim

Tim: Oh, could you read downstairs? I gotta get up at 5:30.
Jill: Why do you have to get up at 5:30?
Tim: I gotta take Pee Wee pheasant-hunting.
Jill: You don't like hunting.
Tim: Or pheasants. But I like that radio.

Quote from Jill

Jill: It's very scary.
Patty: Why?
Jill: Because I'm a married woman. And I'm fantasizing about an intimate relationship with another man.
Patty: Yeah, but it's just a dream. That's perfectly normal.
Jill: No, no. It would be normal if there weren't a real guy I was attracted to and there wasn't some other who look at me like I'm a pair of Florsheims.

Quote from Tim

Jill: How was your dinner with Pee Wee? Did you get the radio?
Tim: No. He was leading me on. He does this to innocent car guys for free meals and pheasant ammo. Men!
Jill: I'm sorry. I know how much that radio meant to you.
Tim: I can't believe how much money I've wasted on this guy!
Jill: Yeah, but it's only money. And you spent it because you love cars so much. I can understand that.

Quote from Tim

Jill: OK. OK. If you could change something, if you could wake up tomorrow and have something be different, what would it be?
Tim: Do you really want to know this?
Jill: Yes, I do. Say it. Whatever it is.
Tim: Well, if something could be different, I wish... I wish it could be our sex life.
Jill: How?
Tim: I wish we had one.

Quote from Tim

Tim: I just wish you understood me better. Look past what I say sometimes and try to figure out what I really mean. You know, when I was talking about shoes, what I was trying to say...
Jill: It was like a metaphor for our marriage. And instead of having my feelings hurt, I should have gotten past my own insecurity and seen it for what it was: An affirmation of our love.
Tim: Shoes. They say it all.

Quote from Tim

Jill: Someday it'll just be the two of us prowling around the house.
Tim: You think we'll outlive the kids?
Jill: I'm talking about when they move out. You know, it's gonna leave a big void.
Tim: We'll fill the void with all the stuff we've wanted to do together.
Jill: Like what?
Tim: Oh, chop and channel a '49 Merc. We'll buy a fishing boat. We can gut our own flounder.
Jill: I'd rather work on the car.
Tim: All right!

Quote from Jill

Tim: I was getting my hair cut the other day and I read a magazine that said that a couple gets divorced every minute.
Jill: Gee, you'd think that couple would stop getting married.
Tim: You know, when we first got married, I was so scared that it wasn't gonna work out. And then there was this one moment about six months in when I realized we were gonna be OK.
Tim: I remember that. We went on vacation down in the islands. Walking on the beach, the moon was up there, and I told you I loved you more than most of my tools.
Jill: Actually, I blocked that moment out. No. I had been really sick with this terrible, terrible flu. And you passed up Laker tickets so that you could stay home and take care of me.
Tim: Yeah. Well, I was young and in love. And I scalped those tickets for three times their face value.

Quote from Jill

Jill: I can't believe it's been 18 years.
Tim: I can't believe it's been all night. The sun's coming up.
Jill: Wow! Oh. Do you remember the last time that we stayed up all night, just the two of us, just sitting and talking?
Tim: I know what night you're talking about. The night I proposed.
Jill: Yeah. Do you remember afterwards we went out for breakfast to that place with the big wagon wheel out front?
Tim: Yes! With that big wagon wheel right in front of the place!
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: What was the name of that?
Jill: The Wagon Wheel. Do you remember what we did after that?
Tim: Yes. I don't think I could still do that after a plate of their Hi-ho Silver Dollar Pancakes. [Jill climbs on top of Tim] Hello.
Jill: Maybe this time we should have pancakes after.
Tim: Hi-ho, Silver! Jill?

Quote from Tim

Al: All right, why don't we dump this big lady?
Tim: Al, you do what you want with your mom. We're trying to do a Tool Time show.
Wilson: Now, hands off that statue, Al. That is a family heirloom. If that lady could only talk...
Tim: This Tool Time episode would take forever to do.

Quote from Jill

Ian: Did I overhear you say you're going to see Carmen?
Jill: Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to it.
Ian: Oh, it is one of my favorite operas. I'm Ian.
Jill: Oh, Jill.
Ian: You know, years ago, I heard Marilyn Horne sing Carmen at the Met.
Jill: You heard Marilyn Horne?
Ian: Yes, I did.
Jill: I love her.
Ian: Oh, when she sang Habenera.
Jill: Oh, that must have been amazing!
Ian: It took my breath away. [sings in Italian] [Jill joins in] That's it!

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