Pete Bilker Quotes Page 1 of 2  

Quote from To Build or Not to Build

Tim: Well, why don't we get started with that concrete? We gotta take our footing...
Pete: Excuse me, Tim. If we have just a minute, I'd... I'd like to read a poem. A short poem that I wrote for my mom. She'll be spending this Mother's Day up at Michigan State.
Tim: University?
Pete: No. Uh, penitentiary.
Dwayne: Pete. This is neither the time nor the place.
Pete: She was framed, Tim.
Tim: I think, under the circumstances, we could drop our tools for a couple of minutes and give a salute to mothers anywhere, or anywhere they spend their time.
Pete: "An Ode to My Mother" by Peter Bilker. That would be me. "Who etched this tattoo In her purple muumuu? Mother, Mother. Who posted my bail Every time, without fail? Mother, Mother. And who rushed to the car With my severed thumb in a jar? Uh... Father, Father. But who sewed it back on When the doctor was gone?" Mother, Mother. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!


Quote from Flying Sauces

Tim: Last time, I promised construction-site cooking. That's why I invited the guys at K&B construction down to the set. Rock Lannigan, Dwayne Hoover and Pete Bilker. How you doing, Pete?
Pete: Hi, Tim.
Tim: Nice beard.
Pete: Well, thank you, Tim. I grew it because of Al. He's my hero. [Al salutes Pete]
Tim: Yeah, mine too.

Quote from Up Your Alley

Pete: I think Al could've taken her.

Quote from Stereo-Typical

Pete: It was a veritable cacophony, culminating in a creative crescendo. [laughs]

Quote from Stereo-Typical

Tim: Rock, what do you have for us?
Rock: Well... Timmy, the guys and I have formed a band. I'll be playing the angle grinder and a 55-gallon drum.
Dwayne: Tim, I'm gonna be on the galvanized-piping chimes and also on the anvil.
Pete: Tim, I'll be on the trash can, the gas cans and the wrench. In fact, Tim, I am the entire rhythm section.

Quote from Stereo-Typical

Rock: Hey, Timmy, you're gonna love this. We wrote this one just for you. We call it "The Ratchet Rhapsody".
Tim: We-he-he-he-hell... Making their television debut right here on Tool Time, K&B and the boys and Janeen. Rock, let's roll!
Rock: Beat!
Pete: That would be me.

Quote from Bell Bottom Blues

Al: What does this have to do with stucco?
Tim: Nothing. But Tool Time's more than just home improvement. It's also about male improvement. I think it's time we took a little time out to talk about male appreciation. Like hugging.
Rock: Oh, bubba.
Dwayne: But, Tim, when you asked us to be on this show, you didn't say nothin' about no huggin'.
Tim: Well, it's OK for another man to hug another man, isn't it?
Dwayne & Pete: No.
Dwayne: I don't even hug my wife.
Pete: That's 'cause you can't get your arms around her.

Quote from Arrivederci, Binford

Tim: But help is on the way. To give us some grooming tips from the job site, we've invited those boys from Bay City, Michigan, back - the guys from K&B Construction Company. Let's give 'em a big Tool Time welcome. Come on, everybody.
Dwayne: Timmy!
Tim: You all remember Pete and Dwayne. You got a new member - Gus. Gus, what'd you do before you joined up with K&B?
Gus: Well, Tim, I spent nine years teaching 12th-grade math.
Pete: Dwayne spent nine years taking 12th-grade math.

Quote from Dollars and Sense

Tim: Before we head out to the real job site, though, we're gonna learn some safety tips about walking on top of the high steel.
Dwayne: Well, first, Pete would like to demonstrate the correct technique.
Pete: Technique is important, Tim. Otherwise you could slip and end up six inches shorter. Like Dwayne. I find the safest way to walk the steel is with one foot directly in front of the other.
Al: That would be the one-foot- directly-in-front-of-the-other technique.
Pete: And Tim, on those extra-windy days, you may want to... use an arm... for balance.
Tim: Nice hip action, guy.
Pete: You're not the first to say so, Timmy.

Quote from Dollars and Sense

Pete: Timmy!
Tim: Oh, Pete Bilker from K&B Construction. He'll be takin' us up top. It's good to be on the job site with you finally.
Pete: It's great to have you guys come see us for a change.
Al: I love what you done with the place.
Pete: Thanks, Al. I picked out the fire-retardant Monaco color myself.
Al: It shows.
Tim: You guys pick out your china pattern later. Right now I wanna get up to the high steel!

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