Home Improvement Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Season 6
- Season 7
- 701 Quest for Fire
- 702 Clash of the Taylors
- 703 Room at the Top
- 704 Pump You Up
- 705 A Night to Dismember
- 706 The Niece
- 707 Jill's Passion
- 708 Losing My Religion
- 709 Thanksgiving
- 710 The Dating Game
- 711 Bright Christmas
- 712 The Old College Try
- 713 An Older Woman
- 714 Tim 'The Landlord' Taylor
- 715 Say Goodnight, Gracie
- 716 What a Drag
- 717 Taking Jill for Granite
- 718 Futile Attraction
- 719 Desperately Seeking Willow
- 720 The Write Stuff
- 721 The Son Also Mooches
- 722 Believe It or Not
- 723 Rebel Without Night Driving Privileges
- 724 Tool-Thousand-One: A Space Odyssey
- 725 From Top to Bottom
- Season 8
Home Improvement
Tim Allen stars as Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, host of a local tool show, who is always looking to add "more power", whether he's at work, in his garage, or raising his three boys with his wife Jill.
Starring:
Tim Allen, Patricia Richardson, Earl Hindman, Zachery Ty Bryan, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Taran Noah Smith, Richard Karn, Debbe Dunning.
Recurring Actors:
William O'Leary, Blake Clark, Jimmy Labriola, Charles Robinson, Mickey Jones, Gary McGurk, Casey Sander, Shirley Prestia.
Original Run: 1991-1999.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Wilson in Let's Did Lunch
Wilson: Aristotle said, "Plato is dear to me, but dearer still is truth. Piety requires us to honor truth above our friends."
Tim: Yeah, of course. So if it comes up, I should tell the truth.
Wilson: Well, Tim, there's no easy answers. It's the age-old dilemma. The high road or the low road. The lady or the tiger. Door number one, door number two.
Tim: [grunts] Yeah. Firing squad, electric chair. It's all the same to me.
Popular Quotes
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Al in Dead Weight
Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Al: Down?
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.
Quote from Jill in Back in the Saddle Shoes Again
Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.