Home Improvement Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Season 6
- 601 At Sea
- 602 Future Shock
- 603 Workshop 'Til You Drop
- 604 Burnin' Love
- 605 Al's Video
- 606 Whose Car is it Anyway?
- 607 I Was a Teenage Taylor
- 608 Jill and Her Sisters
- 609 The Tool Man Delivers
- 610 The Wood, the Bad and the Hungry
- 611 Workin' Man Blues
- 612 No Place Like Home
- 613 The Flirting Game
- 614 The Karate Kid Returns
- 615 Totally Tool Time
- 616 A Funny Valentine
- 617 Wilson's World
- 618 Something Old, Someone Blue
- 619 Communication Breakdown
- 620 My Son, the Driver
- 621 Insult to Injury
- 622 Family Unties
- 623 The Feminine Mistake
- 624 Taps
- 625 The Kiss and the Kiss Off
- Season 7
- Season 8
Home Improvement
Tim Allen stars as Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, host of a local tool show, who is always looking to add "more power", whether he's at work, in his garage, or raising his three boys with his wife Jill.
Starring:
Tim Allen, Patricia Richardson, Earl Hindman, Zachery Ty Bryan, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Taran Noah Smith, Richard Karn, Debbe Dunning.
Recurring Actors:
William O'Leary, Blake Clark, Jimmy Labriola, Charles Robinson, Mickey Jones, Gary McGurk, Casey Sander, Shirley Prestia.
Original Run: 1991-1999.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Tim in The Bud Bowl
Jill: I can't just drop everything because Bud wants to go bowling.
Tim: No, no, no. This is not about bowling. This is about selling Bud on my future with Binford. I got big plans. This could be the start of the Tim Taylor empire.
Jill: The Tim Taylor empire? [laughs]
Tim: Come on. I mean, why does it just have to be Tool Time? How about Car Time? And we could add the spin-off, Tool Time: The Next Generation. And how about an interactive Tim?
Jill: I've been looking for one of those for years.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Al in Dead Weight
Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Al: Down?
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.
Quote from Jill in Back in the Saddle Shoes Again
Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote Collections
Trending Quotes
Quote from Tim in Birds of a Feather Flock to Taylor
Tim: It must've been a great day, watching that first T-Bird roll off that line.
Eddie: Oh, great day. But they were all good days back then. You know, we used to knock out about 100 cars a day. And after work, Hick and me, we'd go down and have a stinky.
Tim: Stinky?
Eddie: Yeah, it's a sandwich.
Hick: My own invention - Limburger cheese, sauerkraut, big slice of Bermuda onion, and some hot mustard.
Eddie: Whoo-hoo.
Tim: Why don't you just lick a skunk?
Eddie: And, Tim, they still make a great stinky at... [to camera] down at Big Mike's Tavern at fourth and Jefferson! Hey, that ought to take care of our tab.
Hick: Yeah, right.
Tim: Big Mike's Tavern. Boy, that sounds like a man's bar there.
Hick: You know it, junior. Pool tables, dark wood, American beer.
Eddie: We go there all the time, fourth and Jefferson!