TV Quotes

Brick: Do we have any details about the cause of Aunt Edie's death?
Mike: Just one. She was 96.
Brick: Interesting. Has anyone questioned Helen Riley? She was the perennial runner-up to Aunt Edie in the church pie contest.

Mike: How you doing balancing the checkbook?
Sue: Well, I must have done it wrong. I have your balance at minus $11.
Mike: No, you did it right. It's us who did it wrong. [Frankie and Mike high-five]

Brick: Hey, Mom. Can I interest you in a decorative crock-pot cozy? Now you can leave your crock-pot out where everyone can see and save yourself unwanted embarrassment. It's for the women's club. These glasses are the prize for being their top seller.
Frankie: Let me guess. You're using the cozy money to pay off the peppermint-bark people.
Brick: Exactly.
Frankie: Brick, you're running a Ponzi scheme.
Brick: A Ponzi-what, now?
Frankie: You're using money you don't have to pay off the debt you had before, and now you got to go into even more debt to pay off this debt. It's an endless cycle. You're never gonna catch up.
Brick: Isn't that what you guys do with your credit cards?
Frankie: Well, yeah, but we're gonna die before they catch us.

Axl: Oh, my God. Seriously?
Hutch: This is not happening!
Axl: Okay, you know what? That's it. We're done. No more jumping or flapping or playing jockstrap gas mask. We are taking back our cool!
Hutch: Oh, yeah, we are. And besides, how are they even gonna know?
Axl: Uh, yeah. Pbht! [to the girls] So, you were saying something about bikinis.
[Two large jocks barge through the door to the dorm]
Axl: Oh, God, no. No, no! No! Aah!
Hutch: Ladies, we'll be right back.