Trending The Middle Quotes

Quote from Brick in The Confirmation

Blake: Thanks a lot. I've missed Swimming with the Savior and Canoeing with Christ 'cause you won't admit you started it.
Brick: Oh, I'll admit I started it when I start it, which I did not do. Now, if you don't mind, I'm getting confirmed next week, and I need to brush up on 2,000 years' worth of Bible facts.
Blake: [sighs] Hey, that's my Bible!
Brick: Uh, no, it is not. I wrote "BH" right here.
Blake: It doesn't say "BH." It says "BF."
Brick: No, it says "BH"... Brick Heck.
Blake: No, it says "BF"... Blake Ferguson.
Brick: Oh, my God. Blake Ferguson? The Blake Ferguson?! [hugs Blake] We're practically brothers!
Blake: Hey! What are you talking about?
Brick: Uh, it's me... Brick. Brick Heck! We were switched at birth! I spent the first month of my life with your family, and you spent the first month of your life with my family. Why aren't you more excited about this? You're acting like you've never heard this story before. You've never heard this story before.


Quote from Frankie in The Confirmation

Frankie: So, you see, Blake, it was kind of the hospital's screw-up because they gave me the room that your mom was supposed to get. [chuckling] That's why they thought there were two baby Fergusons.
Blake: Hmm. My mom says you took her room 'cause it was nicer.
Frankie: Well, yes, technically, but we didn't ask for the room, so what we did was wrong, but it wasn't bad. See, there are different levels of wrong. This is what we call "light wrong." If I had stayed your mom, I would have explained this to you.

Quote from Brad in Look Who's Not Talking

Brad: [grabs Sue] Give me your purse 'cause it's fabulous!
Lexie: Hey! No! [knees Brad in the groin] We don't know him! We don't know him!
Sue: Yes, we do! Yes, we do! Lexie, stop! This is my friend, Brad. This is Brad! Oh, Brad, Lexie. Lexie, Brad.
Brad: How's it going?
Lexie: Oh, my God. I'm so sorry! I've heard so much about you.
Brad: Same. M-Minus the karate skills.
Sue: Brad, this is crazy. What are you doing here?
Brad: Well, ever since I downloaded Lin-Manuel Miranda as my new navigation voice, I've been dying to take a road trip, and who better to visit than you?
Sue: Oh, I can't believe you're really here! [gasps] Are you gonna stay the whole weekend? You have to. I want to show you the whole campus.
Brad: Love to. Maybe we could start with the ice machine.

Quote from Frankie in A Heck of a Ride: Part Two

Frankie: [v.o.] And Mike and I? Well, we never won the lottery. We never fixed the wallpaper. We never patched the hole. We never replaced the washing machine. But for all the things we didn't have, we sure had a lot.

Quote from Axl in Major Anxiety

Axl: [sighs] But I just got all B's, and now this? When does it end?!
Hutch: Wait. Why'd you come to college?
Axl: Because I was done with high school. That's where you go. So now I've got till the end of the week to decide what I'm doing with the rest of my life? Well, I suppose there's some magic book with all the majors in it that tells me what I'm supposed to be.
Hutch: There is. You've been using it for a plate.

Quote from Frankie in The Christmas Tree

Brick: Hey, Mom. Can I interest you in a decorative crock-pot cozy? Now you can leave your crock-pot out where everyone can see and save yourself unwanted embarrassment. It's for the women's club. These glasses are the prize for being their top seller.
Frankie: Let me guess. You're using the cozy money to pay off the peppermint-bark people.
Brick: Exactly.
Frankie: Brick, you're running a Ponzi scheme.
Brick: A Ponzi-what, now?
Frankie: You're using money you don't have to pay off the debt you had before, and now you got to go into even more debt to pay off this debt. It's an endless cycle. You're never gonna catch up.
Brick: Isn't that what you guys do with your credit cards?
Frankie: Well, yeah, but we're gonna die before they catch us.

Quote from Mike in Leap Year

Frankie: If it's no big deal, why can't you tell me? What's going on?
Mike: Nothing. It's just... There's... There's this cat at the quarry's been sick, so I've been looking after him. It's not a big deal. Go to bed.
Frankie: Wait, wait, wait. "A cat"? What do you mean, "a cat"? I don't understand. You have a cat?
Mike: He's not my cat. It's... Just a cat that comes by. Yeah, I took him to the vet, but...
Frankie: You're taking a cat to the vet? Brick didn't poop for three weeks. You didn't notice.
Mike: Well, Limestone's been pretty sick.
Frankie: You named him?
Mike: I didn't name him. I just call him that.

Quote from Brick in Super Sunday

Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, I guess that's how it is on game day. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. And sometimes it's enough just to participate.
Mike: So, Brick, uh, that Super Bowl logo, is that serif or sans serif?
Brick: Sans serif. See, Dad? If you can talk about fonts, you can talk to anyone.

Quote from Frankie in A Quarry Story

Frankie: Mike, look at this. Not only did I get my back pay, but I made two commissions!
Mike: What? How'd you do that?
Frankie: Okay. You know how Oprah's motto is "live your best life"?
Mike: Can't that woman just stay retired?
Frankie: Well, here's my motto now. "Don't try."
Mike: I thought that was always your motto.
Frankie: I did, too. Turns out this whole time I thought I wasn't trying, I was actually trying a teeny bit. The key is to not try at all.

Quote from Mike in The Sink Hole

Mike: Well, we've still got a sink. It's just down there. The faucet lines and the lines to the dishwasher are busted.
Frankie: Ugh, not the dishwasher. I loved the dishwasher.
Mike: [sighs] It's a huge job, Frankie. I'm scared to start pulling threads here. I start taking that counter apart, and next thing you know, the garage door won't open.

Quote from Axl in The Optimist

Sue: And who took my almonds? That is my brain food. [gasps] Axl, do not touch my brain food, or I will end you!
Hutch: Dude, what happened to your sister? She used to be so nice.
Axl: It's the whole house. Happened ever since I went to college. Clearly, I was the one keeping everyone happy.
Sue: I am serious, Axl. You stay away from my study food.
Axl: Relax. It's not like you're gonna get into college anyway. You'll probably end up getting a job at the quarry. Dad will stick you down some deep mine shaft, and you'll never come out. But don't worry. You won't be alone. You'll probably meet a mole man and have half-man-half-mole kids.
Sue: You are an odious and repugnant individual!

Quote from Sue in Back to School

Sue: Mom, look. I printed out the front page of the school website. Look at it.
Frankie: "Overheated student ruins pep rally"? Oh, honey.
Sue: I know. I'm in the paper. Heh, I'm "overheated student." Everybody's gonna know me.

Quote from Frankie in Thanksgiving V

Sue: That wasn't all! You guys didn't see the whole thing. Mom kept throwing me things, and she kept saying, "Put it in the cart! Put it in the cart! Put it in the cart!" And everyone went nuts and started grabbing things. I had to fling myself on the cart to stop them. So, I hope you enjoy your iTouch, Brick.
Frankie: Fine. You guys judge me with your judge-y little eyes. Go ahead. Everybody wants great Christmas presents for low, low prices, but nobody wants to know how it gets done. Nobody wants to get their hands dirty. Well, I did it. I did what I had to do. That's what it takes to pull off Christmas with no money. And it's not pretty.
Axl: I had to drop three classes.

Quote from Axl in Bad Choices

Axl: What? Sick at school and then a party that night? Who could be this awesome? Funny you should "Ax".
Darrin: You are my God.
Sean: Nicely done. But wait, what are you gonna do about tomorrow? We only took the written part of the test today. Tomorrow's the oral exam.
Axl: What? Uh... Okay, okay, let's see. Well, looks like I'm gonna have to be sick again. I'm just gonna have to do the "sick, not sick, sick."
Darrin: But we have a game tomorrow.
Axl: Let me finish. I mean the "sick, not sick, sick... Not sick."
Darrin: [points at Axl] God.
Axl: Yes.

Quote from Sue in Film, Friends and Fruit Pies

Mike: Hang on a sec. Where's all this money coming from?
Sue: Well, I've been using my Spudsy's money, and I popped all the quarters out of my 50 states collector's book, and I've been donating plasma. I'm not exactly sure what plasma is, and I don't know if you need it, but, from the way I've been feeling, I'm guessing you do.

Quote from Mike in Stormy Moon

Mike: Hey. You were out with Cassidy pretty late last night. What time did you end up getting home?
Axl: I don't know. Why do you care so much? When I'm at school, you don't know what time I'm out.
Mike: I don't care. Just if you were dead in a ditch, I'd have ordered a medium pizza.

Quote from Axl in The Carpool

Hutch: Damn. I was gonna hit you, but it looked like somebody beat me to it. What's going on? I haven't seen you in days.
Axl: I'm dying here, man. I'm crapping out in my real classes 'cause I'm spending so much time studying for a class I'm not even taking just to hook up with a girl. Now, when I say it out loud, it does actually make sense. I can't keep this up. Kenny, you got to help me, man. You got to help me, Kenny! Kenny!
Hutch: Hey, game over, man. Time to pull the rip cord. You got to come clean with this chick.
Axl: No. It's been so long since I touched a girl, Hutch. I thought when I came to college, it'd be this buffet of women from all around the world... Kentucky, Illinois, Northern Illinois but it isn't, man. It just isn't!
Hutch: Okay!
Axl: [feels pulse] What does a heart attack feel like?

Quote from Brick in Thanksgiving IV

Brick: This book is life-changing. Mom dropped me at the library to find the perfect holiday read, and out of nowhere, it just appeared to me. "The real true behind-the-scenes story of the making of Erich Segal's 1970's classic, Love Story."
Mike: Really? All the books they got in the library, and that's the one you picked?
Brick: Have you read it? It's fascinating. How did I go so long without finding this? It's a Thanksgiving gift, I tell you. A gift.
Mike: You know, the only thing that would have made that better is if strangers were here to see it.

Quote from Big Mike in Thanksgiving

Frankie: [v.o.] So Mike finally went to ask his dad to Thanksgiving. Which sounds easier than it is, because Big Mike's kind of a hoarder who doesn't like to leave his house. Maybe because he's got too much pride to accept an invitation. Or maybe because there's too much crap blocking the door.
Mike: [knocks] I know you're home, Dad. Montgomery Ward went out of business 10 years ago.
Big Mike: That's good to know. [replaces the "Gone to Montgomery Ward. Back in 5." Post-It on his door with one reading "Gone to Circuit City. Back in 5 min."]
Mike: So Thanksgiving is coming up.
Big Mike: Is it, now? Oh, well, the calendar says it's today.
Mike: Yeah. Well, the calendar is 4 years old, Dad.

Quote from Axl in Adult Swim

Frankie: [v.o.] Sue was gonna do a little cleaning up of her own, and at the top of her list... get rid of her brother.
Sue: [TV shuts off] Axl, that's my robe.
Axl: [groans] Fine.
Sue: Ew! No, don't take it off! Ugh! What are you doing here?
Axl: I'm waiting for Lexie to get back from psychology class, and then we might go out or something. Oh, that reminds me... got to pick up a new lady razor, 'cause, you know, between my beard and your wire-brush leg hairs, it is trashed.
Sue: Look, I believe I was very cool about you dating my best friend, but I didn't know it'd mean that you'd be here all the time even when she is not here.
Axl: Um, our dad is not paying the rent. Lexie's dad is. So whatever Lexie wants, Lexie gets. And Lexie wants all this, and Lexie's dad wants me to have your chips.
Sue: I can't take it anymore! I am sick of you!
Axl: Oh, my God. Sue, back in the old days, they used to live with their siblings and their grandparents and multiple generations. You should embrace this. And truth is, as the eldest son, I could have married you off to some old geezer for a couple of goats, and this place would be mine. You should be thanking me for letting you stay.
Sue: What's your point?
Axl: Give me your Netflix password.
Sue: Oh! That's it! [groans] No more! I'm out of here. [scoffs] And put that drink on a coaster!