Frankie: Look, Brick, here's the thing. If I can't be a chaperone, I just don't feel comfortable letting you go.
Brick: Look, Mom, I understand you're nervous. But I read books, and in every one, the parents are always nervous about the hero before he goes off on his great adventure. But he always goes, and he's scared, but he faces the challenge, and ultimately triumphs.
Frankie: Well, I watch TV, and in all the crime shows, little kids die.
Brick: Fine. I guess I'll just be that kid who didn't get to go because his mom was too worried about him. That'll be fun.
Frankie: [sighs] All right, fine. You can go.
Brick: Yes! I'm finally gonna be like everyone else. [whispers] Everyone else. Whoop!

Mike: So I understand you're interested in taking out Sue.
Darrin: Yes, sir.
Mike: I just wanna remind you that I work at a quarry, and I have access to dynamite.
Darrin: Yeah, I know. You have the coolest job.
Mike: I think you're missing what I'm saying here, Darrin. I'm saying if you're gonna go out with Sue, when you're with her, I want you to picture my face.
Darrin: No offense, sir, but that's sort of a mood killer. I really like her, sir, and I will treat her with the utmost respect, and I would never do anything to hurt her.
Mike: Ugh. All right. I guess, fine.
Darrin: Thanks, Mr. Heck. I really appreciate the vote of confidence. And I'm gonna take you up on that offer to come see the quarry.

Frankie: Yeah. He's not goin'.
Mike: What?
Frankie: Are you kidding me? This is Brick we're talking about. Brick alone in Chicago?
Mike: He won't be alone. He'll be with 30 other kids.
Frankie: Yeah, for about five seconds until he wanders onto a bus or an L train or a boat or a beam 30 stories over the city. Have you not seen Mr. Magoo?

Frankie: Aw. Moths ate my Oscar carpet.
Mike: Oh, no. Where will Brad Pitt walk?
Frankie: Come on, Mike. It's exciting. The Oscars. I like it. It's a nice bit of escapism.
Mike: Yeah, I'm all on board with escaping.
Frankie: Well, you're not allowed to. You're watching it. It's like the Super Bowl of Hollywood.
Mike: What do you know about Hollywood?
Frankie: Hey, I know plenty about Hollywood. I do the People crossword puzzle every week. And 5 across is "shut up".

Axl: What are you doing? Are you insane?! Is this 'cause you feel sorry for her?
Darrin: No. I like her.
Axl: Is this 'cause I peed in your Mountain Dew bottle when we were 7?
Darrin: That was you?
Axl: Well... you are not allowed. You are not allowed to date my sister. I forbid it!
Darrin: But I really like her.
Axl: Well... Fine. I'm gonna date your mom. [laughs]
Darrin: You better get in there, because she just met a guy on Christian Mingle.
Axl: I'm gonna date your mom, and then I'm gonna marry her, and then I'll be your stepdad, and then I will forbid you from dating my sister.

Brick: Well, just five more days, and I'm off to the Windy City.
Frankie: What are you talking about?
Brick: Oh, the Chicago trip. Every year, the fifth grade class gets to take a trip, and this year we're going to Chicago for three days. They've been having meetings about it all year. You... know I'm in fifth grade, right? We get to stay in a hotel, go to museums, have meals in restaurants.
Frankie: Wow. Exciting. That sounds like quite a trip.
Brick: I know, right? I'm finally gonna see the place The Tastes Of Chicago catalog is from.

Sue: Okay, I have to tell you something, but you have to promise you won't tell anyone.
Carly: Did I tell anyone when you swallowed a fly?
Sue: Okay. Well, when Darrin took me to the Valentine's Day dance, and we were cleaning up, our eyes met over the trash can, and he kissed me.
Carly: [screams] Oh, my God! So are- are you guys like a thing now?
Sue: I don't know. We didn't really get a chance to talk. Maybe it was just the mirror ball. Whenever there are mirror balls, people do crazy things. But what if he really likes me but he doesn't know that I like him, and that's why he's being so weird?
Carly: That's totally it.
Sue: But what if he doesn't really like me, and he just got caught up in the whole romance of Valentine's Day and doesn't really know how to tell me he doesn't like me?
Carly: Well, that makes sense, too.
Sue: Well, which one is it?
Carly: Which one do you think it is?
Sue: What do you think?
Carly: What do you think?
Sue: Oh, my God. I think I really like him. Unless he doesn't like me back. Thanks, Carly. You always give the best advice!

Frankie: Hey, Brick. I've got a big surprise. This Saturday, I am taking you to the book fair in Terre Haute.
Brick: But I'm gonna be in Chicago on Saturday.
Frankie: Oh, that's this weekend. Hmm. What should we do about that? Once-in-a-lifetime book fair or stinky old Chicago?
Brick: Well, despite the poor air quality and aging infrastructure, I think it'd still rather go to Chicago.
Frankie: Did I tell you about all the candy I'm gonna buy you?
Brick: Oh, in Chicago, we're going to an old-timey candy store.
Frankie: You know, there's a lot of bad things about Chicago. It's cold. There's crime. The Cubs.
Sean: Hey, Brickster. You pumped for that Chicago trip? Dottie's super stoked. Gonna be the trip of a lifetime.
Frankie: Uh, I don't think it is, Sean. There's a lot of other fun trips coming up. There's a trip to the waste recycling plant in April, so... yeah. Why don't you go practice?

Frankie: [v.o.] So Brick was on his way to Chicago, and I had made my peace with it.
Frankie: Okay. So you don't have any books on you? None at all?
Brick: No.
Frankie: Eyes on your surroundings at all times. No reading, not even street signs. And I really shouldn't have to say this, but please don't put anything in your mouth that isn't food. No exceptions.
Brick: Mom, I'll be fine. Oh, wait.
[Brick removes a long string of cotton from his mouth and places it in Frankie's hand]

Frankie: Hi. Frankie Heck. We met at-
Connie: Yeah, I know who you are. We have all of our chaperones.
Mr. Walker: Mrs. Heck. My parent contract clearly stated that once you have said good-bye to your child, you have 23 seconds to depart the premises.
Frankie: Got it. I-I just wanted to see if he had a buddy yet. If you could pair him with someone responsible maybe a girl.
Connie: We're good here. Let's move it out!
Frankie: Also, I packed all orange clothes so he'll be easy to spot. He wanders. And if someone could check when he comes out of the bathroom, I can't 100% guarantee that he'll zip up. And if there's priceless art like in a museum or something, be prepared to meet the guards now, because he will touch it.
Mr. Walker: Walk faster. Okay! Here we go, people. We're 34 seconds late.