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‘Crushed’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: Crushed

719. Crushed

Aired April 6, 2016

Sue develops a big crush on one of her college professors. When the Hecks have dinner with Cindy and her parents, Brick is upset to learn she is moving away.

Quote from Mike

Mike: I've said it before... nothing good ever happens when you leave the house.

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Quote from Frankie

Brick: I can't believe they were talking about moving.
Frankie: Oh, Brick, I know it's sad.
Brick: Well, it would have been sad.
Frankie: What do you mean?
Brick: They're not moving anymore 'cause you're giving them the money.
Mike: No, we are not.
Brick: What?!
Frankie: Brick, I know it's hard, but it's just not possible.
Brick: Why not?
Mike: 'Cause we don't have any money.
Brick: [sighs] But you told Cindy's parents you were gonna think about it.
Frankie: Oh, that's just a thing people say.
Brick: So you're not gonna think about it?
Mike: Not even a little.
Frankie: Brick, everyone knows when people say, "I'll think about it," they're not gonna think about it. "I'll think about it," always means no.

Quote from Brick

Mike: What's with the hat?
Brick: Hmm? Oh, uh, I've been thinking, and I do want to do sports. I figured if I get started now, someday I could be a professional baseball man.
Mike: Really?
Brick: Oh, yeah. I'm passionate about it. I'm just gonna need some equipment... a glove, a bat, a Lenny Dykstra Wheeler Dealer automatic pitching machine with nine-hour battery. It's only $699.99.
Mike: Brick, every time we make toast, we take our lives in our hands. We're not giving $700 to a total stranger.
Brick: But that's what you're supposed to do. That's what Reverend Hayver says in church. You're supposed to give to the people that are less fortunate than you.
Mike: In our defense, they're hard to find.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [sighs] Listen, Brick, we do give to charity. Every time I buy Oprah's "Favorite Things" bath salts, 10% of my purchase goes to clean water, orphans, polar bears, something.

Quote from Cindy

Frankie: Hey, LuEllen. Nice to see you again. [chuckles] Looks like a beautiful day to travel. [LuEllen blanks Frankie]
Mike: Have a nice trip, Merv. Sorry we couldn't help you out.
Merv: Help us out?
Frankie: [sighs] Well, I guess we ought to separate Bogie and Bacall over there.
Mike: Okay, Brick. Wrap it up.
Cindy: Goodbye, Brick.
Brick: Goodbye, Cindy. [engine starts] I'll call you when I get there. [car door closes]
Frankie: [v.o.] Turns out, when Cindy's parents said they were moving away, they actually meant two houses away.
Mike: She never mentioned this to you?
Brick: We don't talk that much. [cellphone rings] Oh, I should take this. [answers phone] Hello? Hey, Cindy. She got there safe. [waves to Cindy]

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Hey, where you going?
Mike: To the bedroom to watch the game.
Frankie: Why?
Mike: 'Cause I thought you had the big TV tonight. Wait, is it my night for the big TV?
Frankie: No, it's nobody's night for the big TV.
Brick: So, the big TV's open?
Frankie: No. I'm just saying I thought maybe we could have dinner around the table together and, you know, listen to music or something.
Mike: Look, Frankie, if you want the big TV, just say it.
Frankie: I don't want the big TV.
Brick: So, I...
Frankie: No.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: I had a real epiphany tonight at the pizza place.
Mike: Oh, no.
Frankie: Seriously. There I was, picking up our one-millionth pizza, and I ran into this whole group of families from Brick's class... the Murphys, the Gelfands, the Trouts. And they were all playing pinball and singing songs and really having a good time.
Mike: I literally don't know who any of those people are.
Frankie: Exactly, and the worst part was they didn't even feel awkward about it 'cause it didn't even occur to them to invite us. Yeah. We're not even on their radar.
Mike: That's great! We should be celebrating. We're finally off the grid.
Frankie: I don't want to be off the grid. Do you remember when Axl was in high school and there was that whole group of people we used to hang out with? And we'd go to football games and dinner. We don't do any of that stuff Brick's friends. And now all those people in his class are connected and we're sitting here with our sad slices of pizza, arguing about who gets the big TV.
Mike: [groans] I should've picked up the pizza.
Frankie: No, Mike. Listen, if I make more of an effort and reach out to some of these people, will you at least come along?
Mike: Hmm. Can I take my pizza and eat in front of the big TV right now?
Frankie: Yes.
Mike: Done.

Quote from Brick

Frankie: So, listen. I e-mailed some of the parents in Brick's class... [Mike groans] And get this... they all said they were busy. Even Molly Murphy, and we used to be close. We made stone soup together when Brick was in the first grade. Well, she brought the potatoes and the carrots and the bowls, but I ladled. Anyway, I guess they're all in this big clique together, and now we're on the outside looking in.
Mike: Well, you tried. [turns the TV on]
Brick: [turns the TV off] What about Cindy's parents?
Frankie & Mike: Uh...
Brick: Why not? They're very nice people. I went away with them for that long weekend.
Mike: What?
Frankie: You did?
Brick: I brought you back that mug.
Mike: "Chicago, my kind of town."

Quote from Brick

Brick: Cindy and I have been dating for over a year now. I would think you guys would want to meet her parents.
Frankie: Well, Brick, the thing is...
Mike: We don't want to meet them.
Frankie: Mike.
Mike: What? She's weird, and they probably are, too.
Brick: Not necessarily. I'm weird and you guys are normal.
Frankie: That is true.
Brick: Come on. You said you want to be more social, and you said you want to go out with someone from my class. Well, Cindy's in my class, and I think it'd be a really fun time. And it'd make me happy. [both sigh] Great! I'll call Merv and LuEllen and work out the deets.
Mike: How did we go from having pizza in separate rooms to dinner with Merv and LuEllen?

Quote from Frankie

Merv: Oh, this chicken Parmesan looks great. [sighs] What are you thinking about, Mike?
Mike: Oh, I'm more of a meatloaf guy myself.
Merv: Meatloaf guy myself.
[Frankie and Mike talk behind their menus]
Frankie: Oh, my God. I feel like we've been here for 1,000 years.
Mike: Try four minutes.
Brick: I think it's going really well so far.
Mike: What dinner are you watching?
LuEllen: We can't hear you.
Frankie: Oh, we weren't talking about you. [chuckles] We were talking about soup of the day, which is white bean. I'm not usually a fan of beans outside of a dip format, but I might try this. So you're all caught up.

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