Frankie: Ooh! White jeans! You don't have those.
Brick: I'm sorry, Mom. No more cousin stuff. I'm putting my foot down, and not in those Crocs.
Frankie: All right. I'm just gonna try these snowpants on you while you talk.
Brick: No! It's high school... a fresh start. First impressions are key. Most people decide what they think about you within the first seven seconds of meeting you. It's in this fascinating book I've been reading. I found it by happenstance because it was erroneously mis-shelved.
Mike: Don't tell that story in the first seven seconds.

Frankie: Brick, back me up on this.
Brick: I once saw a cartoon where a wolf saw a sexy rabbit in a nightclub, and his tongue came out like steps. That's how she made me feel... April, not the rabbit. A little bit the rabbit.

Frankie: Because we won't have many more with just the core four...
Brick: Five.
Frankie: Five. I knew that. The rhyme threw me off.
Frankie: Look, we have a window, a small...
April: Where's your bathroom, again?
Frankie: Could you just hold it for a second, April?! We're at a crossroads. Axl's a senior, Brick is in high school...
Axl: I should really show April where the bathroom...
Frankie: No, you are not showing her where the bathroom is! Look, what I'm trying to tell you is that I love you! I love you, and we have to appreciate these moments together because we will never have this again, never! Do you get that?! The storm windows are shutting! I'm gonna ditch the whole idea of the storm windows. The point is, I love you! Now, clink your mayonnaise and your olives together like you mean it! [bottles clink]

Frankie: Brick, what are you doing?
Brick: Oh, texting Cindy. Since everyone else has their significant others here, I should, too.
Frankie: Brick, we've already started. By the time Cindy gets here, dinner's gonna be over. [Cindy walks in] How did you get here so fast?
Cindy: My mom took to her bed, so I have to fend for myself for dinner. I was eating apples from your neighbor's tree. Who's the blonde?
Brick: That's April.
April: Hi, I'm April!
Cindy: Oh. No shrimp? I'm irritated, but I'll hide it.
[After Mike brings over another chair and everyone shuffles around, the family and guests sit back down to dinner]
Frankie: So, Cindy, what's new in your world?
Cindy: My bio teacher has six fingers on one hand. At first, I thought he was holding a pencil, but he wasn't. When he's holding a pencil, it looks like he has seven fingers. Sorry, I'm just having a really hard time hiding my irritation about the shrimp.

Frankie: "Team Aniston". I am totally gonna wear this!

Axl: Listen, you guys know I've been seeing this girl. Well, she's coming by later.
Frankie: Okay. Well, I guess Dad and I can go to CVS and read magazines or something.
Axl: No, I want you guys here when she comes.
Frankie: You do?
Axl: Yeah.
Frankie: Sure, no problemo. It's all good.
Axl: Great! Well, she'll be here around 4:00, so put on a bra.
Frankie: I'm wearing a bra.
Axl: Try again, Mom. This is important.

Frankie: Did you hear that, Mike?! Axl wants us to meet his girlfriend! Oh, my God, she could be the one. No, that's something that can happen now. [Mike sighs] He's at the age where the person he's dating could be the one, and he knows that, and that's why he wants us to meet her!
Mike: Slow down. He's a little young for that. He's only... Whoa, he's about the age I was when I met you.
Frankie: And I was the one.
Mike: Damn near anyway.

Frankie: Oh, my gosh, my kid wants to introduce us to her... his idea. And you can thank me for that because I played it cool all summer. I knew he was dating someone, but for the first time, I didn't get all up in his "bidness." I didn't ask any questions. [chuckling]
Mike: Don't say "bidness."
Frankie: No, I totally stayed out of it. Partly because I was binge-watching Outlander, but mostly because I was patient, and it paid off. Ooh, yeah! Playing it cool! Ohh.
Mike: Threw your back out, didn't you?
Frankie: No, just bringing the dance down a little bit.

Frankie: So, remember, Mike, this person is very special to Axl, so you have to talk to her. Be social. Don't be your usual self.
Mike: You know, just because I'm big doesn't mean words don't hurt me.
Frankie: Well, you really got to bring it. We may be about to meet the one, so you got to take it in, be present, be in the moment. Oh, but also be in the future, where you can look back on this moment. But also be in the past, where Axl was a baby so you can feel feelings. Oh, no wheelbarrow story. You're the only one that thinks it's funny.
Mike: [chuckling] I walked off with the wrong wheelbarrow! Everyone thinks that's funny.

Frankie: Oh, my God, right?
Mike: What? I liked her.
Frankie: You liked her? You liked her. Uh, she didn't strike you as a little, um... [as April] Oh, what's the word? [normal voice] dumb?
Mike: No, she seemed okay.
Frankie: Are you kidding? She asked if the grapes were homemade.