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‘Split Decision’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: Split Decision

922. Split Decision

Aired May 15, 2018

After finding out about Axl's job offer in Denver, Frankie makes it her mission to convince him to stay in Orson. Sue is depressed that Sean is about to leave without knowing how she feels about him. Meanwhile, Brick goes on a chair-buying spree to replace the lawn chair he's been using for nine years.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Ooh, this is nice! Oh, check out that polyester weaving and brushed aluminum finish... sturdy and attractive, yet lightweight. How are you not leaping off the couch in excitement right now?
Sue: What are you even doing, Brick?
Brick: You didn't hear? The fabric on my chair frayed, and so I thought, "Oh no, is this the beginning of the end for my chair?" So I got another one as a backup. The whole family's talking about it. Hold the phone! Maybe this will get you off the couch. A bonus chair! Two for one, baby!
Sue: You have two, but I will forever be one.
Brick: This is incredible. This morning I had one frayed chair, and now I have a backup to my backup. All my problems are solved. Chair-mageddon has been avoided. The chair recognizes Brick. I'm breathing rarefied chair. We need your daughter to chair up. Ha!

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Quote from Mike

Mike: I've always liked the hardware store. Hardware stores are very underrated as places to clear your head. People think churches and mountaintops are so great. This works for me.

Quote from Frankie

Mike: So, that Royal Wedding was fun, huh? Sign me up for the next one. Hey, uh, I thought I'd go out and grab us some donuts. You want anything?
Frankie: Hmm, let me think. What do I want? I want my son back, that's what I want.
Mike: Come on, Frankie, I knew you'd be upset so I was just trying to shield you from all that.
Frankie: Oh, thank you so much. I just love it when men shield me from things. You are so not trying to protect me. You are trying to protect yourself from all of this.
Mike: Can you blame me? Look, I knew if I told you two weeks ago when he went on the interview, you'd be worrying this whole time, so I did you a favor and saved you from two whole weeks of worry.
Frankie: You did not do me a favor. If you had told me two weeks ago, I would be done with my worrying and I would be fine now.
Mike: So, you'll be fine in two weeks?
Frankie: No, I will not be fine in two weeks. I will never be fine. I cannot belive you aided and abetted him in this.
Mike: We didn't plan a bank heist, Frankie. And besides, you're the one who pushed him to go to Europe.
Frankie: Don't you dare throw my good mothering in my face. That trip was to get traveling out of his system. Now our son is actually moving to another city for his whole life. This is like taking our seed and flinging it all the way to Denver.
Mike: Flinging our seed? What the hell are you talking about?

Quote from Mike

Mike: Sue, how many teams have you tried out for in your life?
Sue: So many.
Mike: And how many did you make?
Sue: Very few.
Mike: And did anyone ever ask you to be in their club?
Sue: Not that I recall. Dad, is this supposed to be a pep talk? 'Cause I'm not feeling any better.
Mike: Here's my point. If people told you you weren't good enough, you kept trying. If they didn't want you in their club, you started your own damn club. You have never let anything get you down. You're the happiest person I've ever met. So, really? You're gonna let a guy bring you to this?
Sue: You're right. You're right! What am I doing? I am Sue Heck. I don't need a guy to make my summer great.
Mike: That's what I'm talkin' about.
Sue: I am strong on my own. That's it. The Summer of Sue 2018 starts right now. And I am gonna spend it with the only guy that matters... my dad.
Mike: Well, I don't want to hog up your whole summer. You know, i-it stays lighter longer.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Well, this is a disaster. The webbing on my chair's starting to unravel. I can see by your faces you share my dismay.

Quote from Frankie

Mike: Look, Frankie, this job that he might be taking is in Denver, not Antarctica.
Frankie: It might as well be... It's a 15-hour trip. We don't have the money to fly, and our cars are all crappy. We leave parts on the road every time we go above 50.
Mike: So he'll come visit us.
Frankie: No, he won't. It's very clear that we like him more than he likes us. At least if we're in the same town, we'll run into him once and a while.
Mike: I just think you're making way too big a deal out of this.
Frankie: Of course you do. You want to kick him out of the nest because you're a man. You want him to fly off to wherever he wants so you can live vicariously through him 'cause you know you're trapped here with me.
Mike: I don't know what I want him to do, Frankie. I just want what's best for him.
Frankie: Well, I am a mother, and I love my child enough to squash his dreams. And if you are not mom enough to do that, then get out of my way. And, yes, I do want donuts!

Quote from Sue

Sue: So, are you excited?
Sean: Oh, yeah. I just found out I'm gonna be sharing a bunk house with a couple doctors from the medical school in Kumasi, so I'm psyched. Should be cool... probably learn a lot.
Sue: Oh, wow. That is so great. Well, you know what they say, "Live, love, learn." Was there a laugh in there, too? I can't remember. Anyway...

Quote from Sue

Sean: W... Uh, how 'bout you? Got any big plans for the summer?
Sue: Oh, yeah, big plans... big, big plans. Let's see... I may have a gig shadowing housekeeping at Orson Cozy Suites.
Sean: Oh.
Sue: What else? We got a new summer lite potato at Spudsy's... half the sour cream and only two pumps of cheese, 'cause, ya know, swimsuits.
Sean: Well, sounds like a really busy summer, very cool.
Sue: Yeah.

Quote from Brick

Mike: What's with the chairs?
Brick: Oh, when I was on the computer, a message popped up saying I might be interested in these other chairs, and you know what? They were right.
Mike: Well, I may be interested in the actual chairs that I bought. Where'd those go?
Brick: Dad, I feel like you're not embracing the whole chair movement that's going on right now. If you don't sit down and take notice, it's gonna pass you by.

Quote from Frankie

Mike: So, Axl, they give you any kind of a time frame? When do you have to let 'em know?
Axl: Well, I talked to them this morning. I mean, they said I could take a week to think about it. They know it's a big decision for me 'cause I'd be moving my whole life to Denver. I mean, it's a cool city.
Frankie: Yeah, yeah, it is cool. I mean, you can't bake a cake there, so, just sayin', don't expect any cake.
Axl: What do you mean?
Frankie: Oh, you know, 'cause of the elevation. They call it the "Mile High City" which, if you ask me, it's not a big selling point. Who wants to be a mile high? I mean, seriously, you go a mile straight up right now... tell me one good thing about it.
Mike: Just talking here, Frankie... nothing's decided.
Frankie: Yeah, no. That's great. That's what great about having a family dinner, so everybody can just kind of bounce ideas around, you know? So, w-what have ya been thinking? Like, just bounce, bounce, bounce.
Axl: I don't know. I mean, part of me doesn't want to leave 'cause, you know, I don't want to be away from Lexie. But then again, I'd make more money at the new job.
Frankie: You know what's weird, is, like, when somebody comes to a really good decision, and then they say, "Then again." I have never understood that. "Then again" is a really overused phrase.
Mike: Then again, it is his decision, Frankie.

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