Frankie: [v.o.] Out here in the middle, people are straight shooters. They just say it like it is. Well, I got one of those types in my house as well.
[montage:]
Mike: [to Brick] Hell, yeah, you were a mistake. I mean, we're happy you're here now, but you were definitely a mistake.
Mike: [to Frankie] It's funny because you're not fat, but that skirt sure makes you look fat.
Mike: [to a young Sue] Ha. Who told you Scrappy went to a farm? He's not on a farm. He's dead.

[Brick walks over to Frankie holding a book, Sorrow's Destiny]
Brick: Mom. Which part of me is my hungering manhood?
[Mike takes the book and then hands it to Frankie]

Frankie: [v.o.] If the library fines were half a dryer, glasses were a whole dryer. But luckily, the Frugal Hoosier has an optical department. And no mirrors.
[Axl and Mike stand in front of Sue as she tries on pairs of glasses]
Axl: Dork. Dork. I would never stop punching you.
Mike: Knock it off. She's a young girl with emotions all over her surface... or something like that. Anyway, our job is to cheer her on.
Axl: [to Sue] Oh, my God. Those look so great. Seriously. I think you should really, really buy them.

Frankie: I don't know if we're gonna be okay, Sue. I really don't. Frankly, I have no evidence that we will.
Axl: That's not what you're supposed to say.
Sue: Oh, I know. I know. I'm just supposed to pick you all up, and tell you everything's gonna be fine. But you know what, I don't know anymore! You wanna know the truth? Your dad's big on truth. Basically, our lives suck right now. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. 2009 has been a rotten, rotten year. We can't afford a new dryer, we can't afford unexpired food. I can't even afford the LCD light-up angel that I ordered on the TV to surprise you all at Christmas. Surprise. If I don't sell a car, that means no job. That also means maybe no house. But the tornado will probably blow it all away anyway. Oh, my God, let's just pack it all in. Let's give you kids to Madonna or something. Your Dad and I will go live in a tent city somewhere. Because the truth is, we are screwed! [the kids and Mike are stunned] But it's fine. No, it... Everything's fine. We'll be fine. [sighs]
Mike: Frankie... We'll get through.
Frankie: [sobs] Yeah.
Frankie: [v.o.] Wow, who knew I was living with my own personal cheerleader? Mike was right. We would get through. Same as always.

Frankie: [v.o.] Because it doesn't matter how big the storm... ...or how much stuff gets blown your way... ...if you have each other, that's everything. Because there's nothing more important... Holy crap! Is that a dryer?
Frankie: You see it too, right, Mike?
Mike: The tornado gave us a dryer.
Frankie: Quick. Get it inside before anybody sees. Oh, my God.
Frankie: [v.o.] Our luck started to turn around after that. Some stupid bank actually approved us for a brand-new credit card. So we paid off Brick's library fines. We were able to afford contacts for Sue. And she actually made the Swim Team. Well, 34th alternate. And the best part of the new credit card? No payments till 2012. And I'm sure by 2012, everything's gonna be great.
Frankie: Okay, see, this is why you never give up hope... ...because anything is possible. I mean, you just never know what'll happen. You just gotta hang in there and believe and... Oh! Hot damn, there's even clothes in there.

Frankie: Oh, my God, Mike. It's 2009.
Mike: What? Already?
Frankie: Yeah, Mike. 2009. How did this happen?
[montage:]
Frankie: No payments till 2009.
Mike: No payments till 2009.
Frankie: No payments till 2009. The economy's gonna be great by then.
[present:]
Frankie: Great. Now with interest, we owe $650 on a VCR we sold at the garage sale last year for 2 bucks. [sighs] You know what? It'll be fine. It's fine. It'll be fine. We're fine. These things have a way of working themselves out. As long as the dryer hangs on and I sell a car this month, we're gonna be fine. [dryer grinding] [dryer whirring]

Frankie: [v.o.] So the busted dryer, piled onto the whole 2009 thing... meant we'll have to cut corners fast. First step, a trip to the Frugal Hoosier, Indiana's number one expired food store.
Sue: So are we, like, poor now?
Frankie: No, we're not poor, we're just thrifty. We're trying something called living within our means.
Axl: You mean we've been living outside our means? Oh, God.

Frankie: Did you cover for me?
Bob: Told him you had a pregnancy scare. And also that you burst an aneurysm. You should know that I do not think he bought it.

Mr. Ehlert: Well, this just proves that sometimes the best man for the job is a man. I'll put the cost of cleanup on your tab, Frances. This roughly makes you negative two.

Frankie: Listen, my son is a very odd kid. Books are everything to him. He has no friends.
Brick: [mouths] It's true. I don't.
Librarian: I'm sorry, but until you pay the fine, you're banned. Oh, and your library card has been flagged. Have a nice day.
Frankie: [to Brick] You know what? This is a good thing. Your teacher says you need social interaction. And besides, you're not watching enough TV. You don't wanna be the only kid who doesn't know The Bachelor.