Blake: Thanks a lot. I've missed Swimming with the Savior and Canoeing with Christ 'cause you won't admit you started it.
Brick: Oh, I'll admit I started it when I start it, which I did not do. Now, if you don't mind, I'm getting confirmed next week, and I need to brush up on 2,000 years' worth of Bible facts.
Blake: [sighs] Hey, that's my Bible!
Brick: Uh, no, it is not. I wrote "BH" right here.
Blake: It doesn't say "BH." It says "BF."
Brick: No, it says "BH"... Brick Heck.
Blake: No, it says "BF"... Blake Ferguson.
Brick: Oh, my God. Blake Ferguson? The Blake Ferguson?! [hugs Blake] We're practically brothers!
Blake: Hey! What are you talking about?
Brick: Uh, it's me... Brick. Brick Heck! We were switched at birth! I spent the first month of my life with your family, and you spent the first month of your life with my family. Why aren't you more excited about this? You're acting like you've never heard this story before. You've never heard this story before.

Blake: You're lying. It is very un-cool to lie and triply un-cool to do it at Wilderness Jesus Jam!
Brick: I'm not lying. Your name is Blake Ferguson. You live in Orson Heights. Your parents are Charlie and Anna Ferguson. You were born October 15, 2001, at Orson County Hospital, but my mom stole your mom's room and my dad got distracted by a sports game on TV and they accidentally took you home!
Blake: That did not happen! My parents would never let that happen!
Reverend TimTom: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't know what the problem is here, but whatever it is, I'm sure the Rovin' Rev can help.
Brick: Ha. We were switched at birth. Uh, it was a month before anyone figured it out. I assumed he knew all this, but apparently, his parents never told him, and he does not seem to be taking it well.
Reverend TimTom: [chord plays] [sighs] I don't have a song for that.

Frankie: So, you see, Blake, it was kind of the hospital's screw-up because they gave me the room that your mom was supposed to get. [chuckling] That's why they thought there were two baby Fergusons.
Blake: Hmm. My mom says you took her room 'cause it was nicer.
Frankie: Well, yes, technically, but we didn't ask for the room, so what we did was wrong, but it wasn't bad. See, there are different levels of wrong. This is what we call "light wrong." If I had stayed your mom, I would have explained this to you.

Anna: What's important to remember, Blake, is that the authorities determined that we were not to blame.
It was these people.
Frankie: Well, not exactly people. Actually, it was this one's fault for watching the football game and not paying attention to which baby was his.
Mike: Well, shame on me for expecting a mother to recognize her own baby. It's not called father's intuition. Fathers are supposed to watch the game and smoke cigars, which is what I did.

Anna: Well, we don't like to dwell on the past.
Frankie: Seems like you do 'cause you drove all the way across town to do it.
Anna: [chuckles] People who steal babies shouldn't throw stones. [exhales sharply] But as long as the cat's out of the bag, you might as well have this. It's your baby book.
Brick: It is? You kept a book? Of me? Wow. You gave me a one-month birthday party?
Anna: Well, you were our first. We went a little overboard. I know most parents don't celebrate one-month birthdays.
Brick: Some don't even celebrate actual birthdays.

Brick: "November 12, 2001. It snowed today. We cozied up in the reading nook with our beautiful boy and listened to classical music." I had a reading nook? I listened to classical music? You know, I've always loved classical music, but my "dad" calls it dentist music. Wow. So much of who I am is finally making sense to me.

Sue: Brad, what are we gonna do? Lexie's practically throwing herself at Axl.
Brad: I know. It's so sad. When someone's not into you, you have to move on. You got to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Ricky Martin is happily married with two kids. It's not worth the stamps, Bradley."

Sean: Hey, Axl, I was just... [sighs] Okay, uh, I know this is crazy, but I was on my way to Nashville to visit a med school, and I realized the last time I was here, I kind of choked and I didn't really say what I wanted to say and I thought, "You know what, life's too short. If you have feelings for someone, you should tell them." So... [sighs] here I am.
Axl: No, no, no, no, no. I think the last time we were in my Winnebago, you were saying you weren't looking for a relationship, so I think you should just stick with that.
Sean: Um, maybe. Is she here?
Axl: She is, but, uh, she's kind of seeing someone. [chuckles]
Sean: Really?
Axl: Yeah.
Sean: Huh. [scoffs] I'm such an idiot. I-I should have said something the last time I was here... But, no... Whoo! I'm a Donahue! Always got to do the right thing. Never want to ruffle any feathers.
Axl: [chuckles] Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Sean: No, man. I'm glad you told me. And the... the thing is with med school, I am gonna be...
Axl: Good luck with that!
[After Axl closes the apartment door, Sean holds up a bag which reads "To Suzy Q - A very special snowflake." He drops the snow globe and the bag into the trash as he walks away.]

Reverend TimTom: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I don't know what's going on, but you two have been going at it like Cain and Abel since you got here. Okay, while the rest of us go on the Footprints in the Mud nature hike, I want the two of you to stay here and figure out how to get along. And if you happen to write a song about tolerance, that would be great. I could use it up in Clarksdale. A lot of hubbub about who can use what bathroom lately.

Sue: Come on, Lexie. We're re-enacting the Friends opening. Whoo! [laughs] Lexie, where are you? You're being such a Phoebe right now!