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‘The Safe’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: The Safe

407. The Safe

Aired November 7, 2012

Frankie doesn't make a good impression with her new dental hygiene teacher, Mrs. Armwood (Jance Kaczmarek). Meanwhile, Axl gets a tutor at school to improve his grades, and Sue and Brick start flipping antiques.

Quote from Brick

[Brick holds a stethoscope to the safe as he turns the dial]
Sue: What are you doing?
Brick: Shh! I saw this on Safe Crackers.
Sue: Did it work?
Brick: I don't know. After five minutes, I switched over to Whale Wars. But I do feel fairly confident that I can commandeer a Japanese harpoon ship.

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Quote from Axl

Axl: Ugh! It's 10:00 and I still have 26 more pages! Mom, you gotta help me study. Here... It's the constitutional amendments. Just so you know, those are Roman numerals. Turns out they're not just for Super Bowls.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Let me explain. This wouldn't happen under normal circumstances, but my son and I were taking drugs together...
Sandy Armwood: [sighs] Frankie... Isn't it time? Isn't it time you accept the fact that you don't have what it takes to make it in the high-pressure world of dental assisting? Why don't you do yourself a favor? Why don't you walk out that door and find something more your speed, like... running a hair extension kiosk at the mall?
Frankie: You think I'm just gonna walk out of here? That I'm just gonna quit because you told me to? Well, let me tell you something about myself I... am a quitter. A lifelong quitter. Girl Scouts? Quit. Piano lessons when they started with two hands? Quit. Working out at Curves? Quit in the middle of signing up for the membership. Every volunteer thing at my kids' school, quit, quit, quit. Oh, and I only got through 20 Shades of Grey. So if I quit-- and yeah, I might if it gets too hard I'm gonna do it on my terms. It might be tomorrow. It might be next week. It might be the week after! But definitely not today.
Sandy Armwood: Okay.

Quote from Axl

Frankie: [v.o.] Out here in the middle, if you're a sports star, the world is your oyster. Unless your sister runs over your foot, and then you'd better have something to fall back on. For Axl, it was the couch.
Axl: This is not fair! Not awesome things are not supposed to happen to me. Not awesome things are supposed to happen to other people.
Frankie: Can I get you a sandwich or something?
Axl: It hurts my foot to eat sandwiches. I just want to be left alone. Stupid Sue.
Frankie: [v.o.] Axl had pretty much forgiven Sue for breaking his foot. But now and then, his anger bubbled up.
[flashback: Axl punches Sue's bowl of cereal off the table]
[flashback: Axl trips Sue with his crutch]
[flashback: Axl replaces the shampoo with maple syrup as Sue showers]
Axl: I didn't even think my bones could break, they're so strong and thick. God! I drink so much milk! I'm suing milk!
Frankie: You know, as long as you're lying there anyway, maybe you could do a little homework?
Axl: Oh, my God. You are the worst comforter ever.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Oh, my God. I saw something exactly like this on Antiques Roadshow. You know, they appraised it for a ton of money.
Brick: Hmm, I don't know. It looks like it could be a cheap copy. On American Pickers, I saw someone just throw one of those away.
Sue: You know, we still have $20 left from the money mom gave me for snacks. If this is worth something, and we can flip it like on House Flippers, Miami, we can bring her back even more money. Mom's not working, so we gotta help out any way we can.
Brick: True. I mean, how could we, in good conscience, not do it?
Sue: I think we have a real opportunity here. I mean, clearly, this lady can't tell things of value from junk. I learned that one from watching Hoarders.
Brick: The thing I learned from watching Hoarders is that it does not usually end well for the cats.

Quote from Axl

Mike: Look, we gotta get you into college, and you out of college and back into a job, so let's knock this out. Okay, what are the mandibular incisors?
Axl: Oh, my God. I have no idea!
Mike: That was for your mom.
Frankie: Oh, crap. I have no idea, either. Pass.
Mike: [sighs] What's the 12th amendment revise?
Axl: Can I have the incisors question again?

Quote from Axl

Axl: Wait. What is this? Why are you both sitting down and looking at me?
Mike: Well, your mom and I were talking, and in light of your current foot situation, it might not be a bad idea to stay on top of the grades thing.
Axl: What?
Mike: Southern's already revoked their scholarship offer, Axl, and East Indy's being pretty quiet. I'm just saying we don't exactly know where they're at anymore, and we still gotta think about getting you into college.
Axl: Oh, my God. I'm healing.
Frankie: Look, we're just saying, if the scholarship situation is not the lock we thought it was gonna be, we might have to examine the possibility of a plan B.
Axl: So... what would that be?
Mike: Well, that you'd get into college on your own academic merit.
Axl: [scoffs] That's your plan B? That's all you got?! I wanna hear another plan B! I wanna hear the plan B that involves you doing something!

Quote from Axl

Mike: Hey. We did do something. We checked into it, and the school has tutors that can help you. And now that you won't have practice, you can use that time to study and get your grades up.
Axl: Let me get this straight you have no faith in my bone mending powers, I might not be getting a free ride to college, and instead of sailing through my senior year doing nothing but partying and ruling the school as is my God-given right... you're saying I have to study more?!
Mike: Well, it's not really possible for you to study less.
Axl: [to Sue] You're dead! You are so dead!
[Axl trips as he hops towards Sue]
Axl: Oh. I'm too depressed to get up.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [v.o.] Well, Axl wasn't the only one who was gonna have to start studying. 'Cause the next day was my first day of dental assisting school. Yep, I was back to school for the first time in over 20 years.
Frankie: Oh, Mike, take a picture of me with my lunch like we always said we were gonna do with the kids on their first day of school but never did.
Mike: Battery's dead. [pipes groan]
Brick: It's doing it again.
Frankie: Do we need a plumber?
Mike: Oh, definitely. And a roof guy and a mold guy and a bug guy. But instead, we're paying tuition, and it's all gonna be worth it, right, Frankie?
Frankie: Mike, this is not just my second act. It's all of ours. The Hecks are taking risks. Yeah. We're on the comeback trail.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Well, four days, and my hair is still syrupy. But it's okay. I deserve it. I should bear the physical scars of what I've done. And bright side, it smells pretty nice. Except bees chase me.

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