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The Middle: Great Heckspectations

920. Great Heckspectations

Aired May 1, 2018

Frankie pushes Brick to ask Cindy to go with him to the prom so he won't miss out on a key high school event. Meanwhile, Lexie talks Axl into giving Sue a belated 21st birthday present.

Quote from Mike

Frankie: What do you mean you got your driver's license?!
Brick: Well, you guys weren't around, so I asked Sue to take me. I passed!
Mike: Yeah, we saw that.
Frankie: Brick, that is not okay! If your parents say no to something, that doesn't mean you go get your sister to do it!
Brick: I really thought you'd be fine with this. I mean, didn't I prove my trustworthiness when I stole back our car from the Glossners?
Mike: I'm sorry, but there are steps to getting your driver's license. We gotta put you on our insurance, make sure the car is tuned up, alert the neighbors...
Frankie: What did you think you were gonna do, Brick, secretly drive around for the next 75 years without us noticing? Sorry, pal. You're grounded. Two weeks.
Mike: That means no library, no seeing Cindy after school, no... I don't know what else you do.

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Quote from Frankie

Brick: Oh, well. At least it gets me out of prom this weekend.
Frankie: Wait, what? Prom? I thought that was just for juniors and seniors.
Brick: No, 'cause of budget cuts, there's only one dance a year now, so everybody gets to go.
Frankie: Well, you have to go to prom.
Brick: I don't care about prom.
Frankie: Well, you should. It's a major life event. You don't want to miss that. I mean, prom at the same time you actually have a girlfriend? What are the odds of that ever happening again?
Brick: But I'm punished.
Frankie: Well, now you're unpunished. He has to go to prom, Mike.
Brick: You're sending very conflicting messages.
Mike: What's not to get? You're grounded until Saturday and then you will go to prom, mister.

Quote from Brick

Frankie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
Brick: Oh, this? Well, you told me I have to do a promposal, so I'm going as Bernie the Bookmark. I'm gonna wait till lunch so there's a big crowd, then I'm gonna ask Cindy to "save a place" for me at prom. It'll be a new "chapter" in our relationship. Pretty good, huh?

Quote from Brick

Frankie: I mean, is she going with somebody else? Did she say why? I don't get it. You look so good in that tux. You can't even tell a dead guy was almost buried in it.
Brick: I was going to ask for an explanation, but after I gave the drummers and the flag girls their 10 bucks, Cindy was gone. It's fine, I didn't really want to go to prom anyway. Ah, dames. I'm over 'em.
Frankie: No, Brick, you can't give up. You gotta try. Remember that one time in gym class you didn't want to climb the rope and I made you do it? What happened?
Brick: My hands slipped and I burned my privates on the way down.
Frankie: But you got to stay in bed for a week and read.
Brick: That was a good week.
Frankie: See? Moms know stuff. Now go get your girl.

Quote from Brick

Frankie: Hey, Zach, I got a tiny saucer of goldfish and you can eat it right out of the dish.
Zach: [chuckles] Oh, my God. I don't do that crazy cat stuff anymore.
Frankie: Oh.
Zach: I think we all outgrew our little quirks.
Frankie: Oh.
Brick: [on the microfiche] Hey, guys, gather 'round! Did you know bell peppers were four cents a pound in 1932?!

Quote from Sue

Sue: [hits Axl] Seriously?! You've got nothing?! You had nothing?! How could you do this to me?! Why would you lead me on like this?! On my 21st birthday! For your 21st birthday, I got you a monogrammed tie clip and an hour in a flight simulator and you got nothing!
Axl: Okay, okay, okay, I'll take you to the flight simulator! You just need to loan me some cash and I'll pay you back!
Sue: I don't want to go to a flight simulator. I just want a present! [throws stuffed animals] From! My!
Brother!
Axl: Okay, I'm sorry, but you have incredibly unrealistic expectations! I don't know what you like!
Sue: That's right, Axl, you don't know what I like! Because you've never taken the time to find out! But I know everything you like! And you want to know why? Because I adore you! I adore you! When we were little, Mom told me that I even learned how to walk early just so I could follow you around!
Axl: Okay, look, I'm sorry! Okay? I'm sorry I was born first! But I can't do anything about it. It's just the way it is! Younger kids always look up to their older siblings. Maybe you just need me in a way that I don't need you?
Sue: [exhales] [hits Axl] So that's it?! It's just a one-way adore street?!
Axl: I'm sorry, I tried! I really tried!
Sue: You didn't, Axl. Aside from the ice cream, you didn't. You really didn't. Just go.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: I'm worried. And that should tell you something... that the thing I'm most worried about is not Brick driving.
Mike: What are you talking about?
Frankie: Oh, my God. I forced him. I forced him to go to prom, and now the weird kids aren't weird anymore. He's gonna be out there on his own with no nerd posse and who knows what's gonna happen? Should we get in the car and follow him?
Mike: Frankie, our son, who has a driver's license, is heading to prom with someone who he can legitimately call his girlfriend. Did you ever in your life think that was gonna happen? [Frankie exhales] I think he's doing fine.
Frankie: But did you see how good Cindy looked? Somebody at that dance is gonna swoop in there and snatch her up and Brick'll be too busy reading the "Maximum Occupancy" sign to notice.
Mike: Is he still doing that?
Frankie: Oh, yeah. He was doing it last week at Joe's Subs. If two more people came in, he was gonna make us leave. [Mike laughs]

Quote from Mike

Frankie: Honey, what happened? Those kids tonight were so normal. No yelling, no purring... Did Brick miss the social-skills class where everyone in the group got fixed?
Mike: Eh, who's to say who's fixed and who isn't?
Frankie: I'm saying it. They're fixed, he's not.
Mike: Okay, [clears throat] here's the thing... [exhales] ...if you could trade Brick for some kid that never made us worry, would you? I wouldn't. 'Cause then we wouldn't have the kid who made us take all the leaves that we raked in the yard and release them back into the wild. I mean, who thinks like that? I'll never forget it. So, yeah, he's weird, but I'd take him over some "normal" kid any day.
Frankie: [sighs] I just want him to be happy.
Mike: Me too.

Quote from Brick

Brick: How many guys do you know with their own key to the public library?
Cindy: Wow. This is so much better than going to prom. I don't get why parents think it's so important.
Brick: I guess they're afraid we're gonna miss out on stuff. So we tell 'em we're going and it makes 'em happy. It's a big moment in their lives.
Cindy: I mean, what are we missing out on? Look around. Fluorescent lights, the Dewey Decimal System... This really is the perfect night.
Brick: Yep, I've got everything I love here... books... and you. You hungry? I hid some chips in the botany section.
Cindy: I could eat. Then could we look at fashion through the ages? 'Cause sometimes, Brick, I am just a girl.
Brick: I've noticed.

Quote from Frankie

Sue: It's just, 'cause Axl was born first, he's never gonna feel the same way about me that I do about him.
Frankie: [scoffs] Are you kidding me? When we told him he was gonna have a little sister, he was so excited. He used to talk to you in my tummy.
Sue: Really?
Frankie: Mm-hmm. And then when you got here, you were like his little doll. He dragged you everywhere. He would play with you and watch over you and make sure I was feeding you. Wherever we went, he told people he was your "big bwuvah."
Sue: Reeeeeally?
Frankie: Yep. And when you got a little older, he used to sleep in the bed with you every night. It got to the point where you two were keeping each other up, so we finally made him go back to his own bed. Ooh, he was not happy. He threw a fit. The only way we got him to do it is if he left Woofy Dog with you to protect you.
Sue: Wait, what do you mean, leave me Woofy Dog?
Frankie: Well, Woofy Dog was his.
Sue: Woofy Dog was Axl's?
Frankie: Yes. Didn't I tell you this story?
Sue: No. This is huge news! You told the story about how I was afraid of a knothole in the wood paneling like a thousand times, but this you keep from me? I can't believe Woofy Dog was Axl's. And he gave him to me. [gasps] He does adore me! [gasps] My big bwuvah does adore me! He just doesn't remember!

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