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‘The Wonderful World of Hecks’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: The Wonderful World of Hecks

524. The Wonderful World of Hecks

Aired May 21, 2014

After their long car journey down to Walt Disney World in Florida, the Hecks realize they drove to the wrong theme park.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Excuse me, Kimberly. Sorry to interrupt, but I'm looking for a specific kind of hat. Let me describe it to you. It's kind of a felty, black, half-moon shape with these rounded appendages that are, I guess you could say, ear-like.
Mike: She knows the hat, Brick. They're called Mickey ears.
Brick: If you don't mind, Dad. You drove us six states in the wrong direction, and she works here, so...
Nurse: I'm familiar with the hat.
Brick: Great. Now, this hat... Would it be available for purchase in the park?

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Quote from Brick

Brick: Oh, look. I found the store that sells the Disney merchandise. How lucky is that? [chuckles] I'll take this one, Timothy.
Timothy: Would you like us to embroider it for you? We have three different fonts to choose from.
Frankie: Oh, no. He said the "F" word.
[one hour later:]
Brick: Hmm. The basic font is easier to read, but I do like the fun font. Yep, fun. Definitely fun.
Timothy: Great choice. Uh, now all you have to do is pick a color. We have gold, black, dark pink, white, red.
[thirty minutes later:]
Brick: Thank you, Timothy. I appreciate your patience with all my thread questions... Unlike my family. [sighs] I just need to check one last thing. All right. [reads a book] Whew! No ear shadow.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [v.o.] They say even a broken clock is right twice a day, and if anybody was our family's broken clock, it's Sue.

Quote from Axl

Axl: So, listen, we've all talked, and we've agreed not to take any extreme measures to save her life.
Sue: I can hear you, Axl.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Okay. Done and done. I'm ready to go back to the hotel.
Frankie: Brick, we haven't even gone on any rides yet.
Brick: Wait. So, we're going on rides now?
Sue: What did you think we were doing?
Axl: Duh.
Mike: That was the plan.
Brick: [sighs] I'm just saying this is new information. It would have been nice to have a heads up.

Quote from Axl

Sue: What? That's not right. This is supposed to be the short time. Oh, I must have been looking at the wrong section. [grunts] I just have to get to the afternoon schedule.
Axl: [groans] Can we please just split up?! I'll take Dad and one more person. Wait, who do we want? Dopey, Naggy, or Dorky?

Quote from Axl

Mike: Let's go! No time for breakfast. We'll hit the apple bowl at the desk on the way out.
Brick: [sighs] Why do we have to leave again?
Mike: 'Cause if we don't leave now, we're paying for this room ourselves.
Axl: I'm with Brick. What do we have to go home to? Scratchy toilet paper and dog shampoo? I say we barricade ourselves in here, live large for two weeks, and go out in a hail of gunfire.

Quote from Frankie

Ticket Agent: Oh, no. I'm sorry. These tickets are for Disneyland in California.
Frankie: Wait. What? Disneyland? These tickets are for Disneyland?
Mike: You're telling me we drove for two days to the wrong park? Unbelievable.
Sue: This is not happening!
Brick: I wanted a hat.
Axl: Oh, my God. They drove to the wrong park. It's official. There's no way I'm genetically linked to you people! Can someone please help me?! Anybody? I'm looking for my real family!
Frankie: I don't... I don't know how this could have happened.
Ticket Agent: See? "Disneyland". It's right there on your tickets.
Mike: [sighs] You didn't read the tickets, Frankie?
Frankie: Yeah, I read the ticket, Mike. I just thought it would be fun to drive 900 miles in the opposite direction.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [sighs] See... [exhales sharply] my daughter won a contest for two days in the park and one night in a hotel and they gave us this form. And it had a castle on the top. And, uh... it was an honest mistake. I didn't have my glasses. Y-you'll get there... Carol. Trust me.
Axl: She's blind 'cause she's old. [off Frankie's look] What? I'm helping.
Frankie: [sighs] I mean, come on, Carol. This place is all about magic, right? So, what do you say you just tinker-bell the situation and let us in. [laughs] Nobody needs to know. It could just be our little secret.
Ticket Agent: Uh, but the machine will know 'cause here, we use magic bands. And when I scan them, they go "beep."
Frankie: That's okay. See, because we can just... We can just put these on our arms. And then we'll scan them and we'll make the beep sound. [chuckles] So... so... So you... you can just swipe it, and... and we'll all go "beep," right? Just beep, beep, beep. See? That's no problem at all. Right, everybody?
All: Beep, beep, beep, beep.
Ticket Agent: [into radio] Can I get someone from guest relations, please? Quickly.
All: Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Quote from Sue

Frankie: Sure. We got a little later start than we planned, but we did it. We made it. We got our big crisis out of the way, and the fun starts now.
Sue: Oh. It's more beautiful than I ever imagined. [gasps] I've dreamed of this my whole life. I've seen it on TV a million times, and now I'm standing right in front of it. [gasps] And I... [faints]
Axl: Okay, so, uh, we hit some rides and meet back at Sue's body later?

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