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‘Thanksgiving VI’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: Thanksgiving VI

607. Thanksgiving VI

Aired November 19, 2014

With a broken sink and a tiny dining room table, Frankie decides that this year the Hecks will celebrate Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant. Mike is less than impressed when Sue invites Darrin, while Brick's new girlfriend Cindy also joins them. Meanwhile, Frankie asks Axl to invite a girl from his school that he doesn't even know.

Quote from Axl

Sue: Axl! Did you hear this? Mom and Dad say we're having Thanksgiving at a restaurant.
Axl: Oh. So Mom's not cooking? At last... something to be truly thankful for.


Quote from Frankie

Sue: Mom, I have to talk to you. Darrin did something bad.
Frankie: Don't worry. Dad will get over the turkey thing.
Sue: He told the waiters to sing "Happy Birthday" to Dad.
Frankie: What? Has he lost his mind?!
Sue: I don't know.
Frankie: Listen to me right now. You need to tell me who you talked to and exactly what you said.
Darrin: Uh, I don't know. He was a waiter.
Frankie: What did he look like?
Darrin: He had an apron and a pen.
Frankie: They all have aprons and pens! I need details. Mole on his face, crooked nose... anything.
Darrin: I don't remember.
Frankie: Well, you've got to remember!
Darrin: It's kind of hard to think when you're yelling at me!
Frankie: All right, just... just go and find him... now!

Quote from Mike

Frankie: [v.o.] Thanksgiving. What do the Hecks and the Pilgrims have in common? No indoor plumbing.
Mike: How many times do I have to tell you? Coffeepot is stream. Ice tray is mist.
Frankie: Mm. Okay, listen, Mike. I was thinking. You know how we always say only losers and sad, pathetic people go out to dinner for Thanksgiving?
Mike: So are you saying we're going out this year?
Frankie: No. Well, yes, but not 'cause we're losers. 'Cause we have a floor sink and a tiny table.
Mike: Don't exactly sound like winners.
Frankie: Okay, just... just follow me here. I saw an ad in the paper that King Henry's Feast is doing a Thanksgiving buffet, and it's only $7.99 a person. They're doing all the Thanksgiving staples, plus their full complement of international cuisine. And as an added bonus, we don't have to do the dishes in the bathtub.
Mike: You don't have to convince me to leave this house. Long as I get some turkey, I'm fine.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Wait a minute. What's going on? Are we not having Thanksgiving at home this year?
Frankie: Sue, take a look around this place.
Sue: But we have to stay home. Thanksgiving's not Thanksgiving without Frugal Hoosier canned corn, Safeway boxed stuffing, and CVS pumpkin pie.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Oh, and listen, Axl... I invited Devin Levin to come down and have dinner with us, so I'm gonna need you to drive her home from school.
Axl: No! No way. I'm not driving Devin Levin here from college. I told you a million times! I'm not telling you again!
Frankie: [v.o.] I know this seems like an extreme reaction, even for Axl, but this Devin Levin battle had been raging for two years.
Frankie: Mm. Axl. My hair person's cousin's niece's daughter is from Idaho, and she just started at east Indiana, so since she really doesn't know anybody yet, I thought it'd be nice if you called her just to say hi.
Axl: Well, think again, 'cause there's no way I'm calling some uggo from Idaho.
Frankie: [on the phone] Did you ever call Devin Levin? I asked you six months ago.
Axl: [playing hackeysack] Mom, I don't have time. I'm studying.
Frankie: [on the phone] Axl, this is getting embarrassing. You have to call her before my roots grow out.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving that girl stranded for Thanksgiving. That's not how we roll. I'm asking you to do this, and you do for family.
Axl: But you don't do for hairdresser's family.
Frankie: Look, it's hard to find a good hair person who works out of her garage, but I did it, and you're doing this.
Mike: Wait... so it's not gonna be just our family?
Frankie: It's not just our family anyway. Brick's bringing Cindy and Darrin's coming.
Mike: Ugh.
Axl: Wait. Sue's bringing a date and Brick's bringing a date? That means Devin Levin's gonna think it's a date.
Frankie: Relax. I didn't tell her it was a date.
Axl: Mom look at me. If I pick a girl up, she's gonna think it's a date.

Quote from Frankie

Sue: Aren't those your pregnancy pants?
Frankie: They used to be my pregnancy pants. Now they're my holiday pants.
Sue: Ah. Well, Mom, do you mind if I ask you kind of a serious question?
Frankie: Uh... Sure.
Sue: Does Dad not like Darrin?
Frankie: What?! Pfft! Of course Dad likes Darrin. Why would you say that?
Sue: W-well, the other day, you were talking about who was coming to Thanksgiving dinner, and after you said Darrin was coming, dad said, "Ugh."
Frankie: No. He didn't say, "ugh." He said... "Ah." You know, like, "ah, that's nice."
Sue: No. It was definitely an "ugh." I remember it very vividly. You said, "Darrin is coming," and Dad said, "Ugh."
Frankie: Look, Sue, don't take it personally. Your dad likes us, and that's about it. And some days, not even us.

Quote from Axl

Devin: So, are we going right to the restaurant, or are we stopping at your house first?!
Axl: [turns music down] What?
Devin: I was just wondering... are we going straight to the King's Feast, or are we stopping at your house first?
Axl: Uh, no, we will not be stopping at my house first. Nice try.
Devin: Well, out of respect for the King, I better get out of my hoop clothes. Okay. [starts undressing] Can't forget my seat belt. Safety first. Could've sworn I had a bag of Funyuns in here. I always travel with Funyuns.
They're like fun onions. They're Funyuns! Ooh! Bingo!
Axl: You do realize we're eating dinner in like less than an hour, right?
Devin: Okay, Dad. You know, I got to say, it was really cool of your mom to invite me to Thanksgiving. I mean, I would've been totally fine just hanging out in my dorm.
Axl: We could still make that happen.
Devin: Yeah, you know, I can pretty much cook anything on a hot plate. The other night, I made brownies and lasagna.
Axl: You can't make brownies on a hot plate.
Devin: Sure you can. You can make anything on a hot plate. All you need is heat and the will to do it.

Quote from Cindy

Brick: Hi, Cindy. I like your dress.
Cindy: It has turkeys on it. [car drives off]
Mike: What kind of parents just dump their 12-year-old on Thanksgiving and take off?
Frankie: You're just mad you didn't think of it first.

Quote from Sue

Darrin: What's up?
Sue: Okay, so, I was just thinking, since it's Thanksgiving and, you know, your first major holiday with my family, maybe you could just... Kick it up a notch.
Darrin: Kick what up a notch?
Sue: Uh... Nothing specific, but if you could just be a little bit better. But not so much better that it looks like you're trying too hard, but better than you are right now. Not that you're not great.
Darrin: I'm not exactly sure what you're asking me, but okay.
Sue: Mm-hmm. Shoot. Now I feel like you're gonna do too much. So don't even worry about it. Just forget everything I said and be yourself, like you normally are. But a little bit better.

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