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‘Average Rules’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

The Middle: Average Rules

124. Average Rules

Aired May 19, 2010

Frankie and Mike are stunned when they learn Brick may be held back in the second grade because of the school librarian, Mrs. Nethercott (Betty White). Meanwhile, Axl's aptitude test results show he is academically gifted, and Frankie tries to help Sue be recognized in school when she isn't featured in the year book.

Quote from Frankie

Mike: She just keeps going. Where does she get that from?
Frankie: From me. I never give up.
Mike: You give up all the time. You gave up this morning.
Frankie: You're right. As I was saying that sentence, I almost gave up and stopped talking.

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Quote from Sue

Sue: Oh! Maybe I'm in some candids from the lunchroom.
Frankie: Yeah, right.
Sue: Oh. I think that might be my shoe.
Frankie: Well, at least you have your class photo.
[When Sue flicks to her page, a "Picture Unavailable" message occupies her square]
Sue: Wait a minute. I retook that picture three times. I had three photos available.
Frankie: How did this happen? This is just not right.
Sue: That's okay. I'm pretty sure that one in the candids is my shoe. I'll just get everyone to sign it by my shoe. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's my shoe.

Quote from Axl

Axl: Hey, Mom, look. I'm using my history book as a plate. No cleanup for you. You're welcome.
Frankie: We got some pretty interesting news at your conference today. Apparently you're smart.
Axl: I am?
Mike: Yeah. Like extremely smart.
Axl: Wait. You sound mad. Your tone isn't really matching the words you're saying.
Frankie: That aptitude test you took? Your counselor told us you scored in the 98th percentile.
Axl: Out of how many?
Frankie: A hundred.
Axl: A-ha! Told you I was smarter than you thought. Good thing you caught me. I was just about to study. That would have been a big waste of time. [chuckles]
Mike: No, you're gonna get grades that reflect your smarts. Crack a book, to you a plate, get in your room and study. We're gonna be expecting a lot from you.
Axl: Oh, my God. You find out I'm really smart and you're still on me? I can't please you people. Aah! Stupid big brain.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Hi, Mrs. Nethercott. Is there a problem?
Mrs. Nethercott: Is there a problem? You know, Brick, when you first came to this school, I was so excited to hear about a little boy who loved books as much as I do. It's what a librarian dreams of.
Brick: Thank you.
Mrs. Nethercott: Let me finish. For years I have watched as you've checked out book after book after book, and brought them back covered with syrup, and yogurt. [Brick sighs] That is if they even come back at all.
Brick: Look, we can play the blame game all day. The point is I love books.
Mrs. Nethercott: You say you love books. I don't think you do. I love the books in this room like they're my very own babies. You have 31 of them out. Thirty one of my babies. And I want them back, all of them. Or you're not going into third grade. That's right. No fractions for you. No cursive, no field trip to an Amish farm. You think you can make it out in the real world without cursive? You can't.
Brick: Look, you have to accept some responsibility here...
Mrs. Nethercott: Shh! You have until Walt Whitman's birthday. Good luck.

Quote from Brick

Mrs. Nethercott: This one's a little sticky.
Brick: Can you prove it wasn't like that when I checked it out? [smiles]
Mrs. Nethercott: Okay, Brick. Looks like they're all here. Somehow you managed to do it.
Brick: See you in third grade, Mrs. Nethercott.
Mrs. Nethercott: Well, well, well. What have we here? Seems like we're still missing one book after all. This little piggy didn't come home, did it, Brick? Oh. And it's a big, expensive reference book. It's an atlas.
Brick: But I already searched my entire house.
Mrs. Nethercott: Oh, where could it be? If only you had a map to find it. [Brick sighs] You have until Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's birthday to get it here. Otherwise, see you in second grade. [whispers] Second grade.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Mom.
Frankie: [gasps] Sue, what happened?
Sue: I got hit by a deer.
Frankie: You hit a deer?
Sue: No. I got hit by a deer.

Quote from Axl

Axl: This kid who sits behind me, he used to do really well but he totally crapped out this year. He was crying, his parents came in and they were crying.
Brick: So the kid who sits behind you used to do well on the aptitude test, but then suddenly did bad on it?
Axl: Yeah, this smart kid, Alan Heung, and he was on this track to do all the advanced classes, but...
Brick: So the kid who sits behind you is named Alan Heung and he used to do well, but he bombed out and you usually bomb out, and now suddenly you're a genius?
Axl: Yes, that Alan Heung. Are you deaf? Now butt out and go look for your stupid books.
Brick: So assuming you're seated alphabetically then it would be safe to assume, if there were some paper with the aptitude scores on it that your name and score would be right next to Alan Heung's scores?
Axl: God, Brick, how am I supposed to know? Do I work in the office? Oh... Okay, I'm starting to get what you're saying. Go through it one more time.

Quote from Frankie

Mrs. Seabrook: I don't think I have a Sue Heck in my class.
Frankie: Yes, you do. We go through this all the time. You have Sue.
Mrs. Seabrook: Oh, here we go. Here's her name. I just can't seem to place her face. Does she have red hair?
Frankie: No, she doesn't.
Mrs. Seabrook: Blond and sort of athletic looking?
Mike: No.
Mrs. Seabrook: Is she African American?
Mike: Do we look like she's African American?
Mrs. Seabrook: How about I look in the yearbook to jog my memory?
Frankie: Ugh. Don't bother.

Quote from Axl

Frankie: Well, that explains it. The scores were switched. You got a... Well, numbers don't mean anything. The point is you're our son and we love you.
Axl: Oh, it means something. It means I am completely living up to expectations. I am operating at complete capacity. Yes!

Quote from Sue

Frankie: [v.o.] The end of the school year. Finals, parent-teacher conferences, and that official teenage popularity meter:
Sue: The yearbooks are out.
Frankie: Oh. Wow, honey.
Sue: I haven't looked yet. I ran all the way home so we could look through it together. Wanna look and see how many times I'm in it?
Frankie: Sure, that's always fun.
Frankie: [v.o.] That's never fun.
Sue: Class officers, no. Clubs, no, other clubs, no.
Frankie: [v.o.] Every year it's the same. Poor Sue had tried out for God knows how many things.
[montage of Sue trying out]
Frankie: [v.o.] And she hadn't made a single one.

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