Brad Bottig Quotes Page 1 of 11    

Quote from Thanksgiving IV

Brad: Who punches a guy while he's on his tippy toes? That's not how a dance fight works. I mean, seriously, where did that guy go to summer camp?
Sue: Ugh. I know.
Brad: I didn't even get to do my pas de bourree.


Quote from Siblings and Sombreros

Sue: [to a bird] Hey, no, no, no! Shh! Shh! Get out of here! Hey! Shoo! Woof, woof! Woof, woof! What are crows scared of?
Brad: [gasps] Scarecrows!
Sue: Ooh. Right, right, right.
Brad: [clears throat] [sings] I could wile away the hours, conferring with the flowers Consulting with the rain [drumming] And my head, I'd be scratching While my thoughts were busy hatching If I only had a brain

Quote from Look Who's Not Talking

Brad: I just don't fit in at all.
Sue: Brad. You don't always love school right away. But you got to hang in there! I actually have a ton of posters that speak to exactly what you're talking to, but they're all in storage. The point is, the same thing happened to me when I first got to Gumford.
Brad: But I don't like New York. Everything costs a zillion dollars. People are rude and pushy. I saw a guy once poop on the street. He didn't even try and hide it. He just looked at me like it was normal. I'm telling you, Sue, New York is nothing like On The Town. I mean, the Bronx is up and the Battery's down, but that's it.
Sue: Wow. So what are you gonna do?
Brad: I don't know. I guess I'll just listen to my dad and become a cop or a construction worker. I've already got the outfits.

Quote from Year of the Hecks

Sue: Mom? Dad? Guess what? Brad has huge news.
Brad: I'm a wrestler!
Frankie & Mike: Oh!
Mike: You gonna wear that around all the time?
Brad: Good one, Mr. Heck. I wanted to wear this out today 'cause we just got our costumes.
Mike: I'd go with "uniforms."
Brad: Check out these moves. Go ahead, Mr. Heck. Try and tip me over.
Mike: I'm good.
Sue: Is it okay if we go into my room?
Mike: I'd actually prefer it.

Quote from Year of the Hecks

Sue: I just don't get it. Why would someone in my family not want me to go out for things? It doesn't make any sense.
Brad: These straps are really digging into my shoulders. Oh! I'm gonna bring it up at the next rehearsal.

Quote from The Hose

Brad: Mr. Heck, how are you?
Mike: Fine. Sue, your friends are here!
Sue: [o.s.] Be out in a minute!
Carly: Brad and I are taking Sue to the mall, but don't worry, we're not gonna spend any money.
Brad: Because things don't make you happy. People do. But if Sue wants a Fro-Yo, I can pay for it with the money I made juggling at the Ren Fair this summer. That's short for "renaissance."
Mike: You don't have to explain everything.
Brad: Oh! I almost forgot. I come bearing gifts. For Brick, some of my favorite hand-me downs. For Mrs. Heck, the Ali MacGraw yoga workout. It's like an antidepressant in a VHS tape. And for you, Mr. Heck, a hug. [hugs Mike]

Quote from The Hose

Mike: Hey, Sue! You don't want to keep your friends waiting! Anyway, uh, it's nice of you guys to get Sue out of the house. She's been kind of down since they told her that the mascots can't go on that trip.
Carly: What? Yeah, they can.
Brad: No, I think you're wrong, Carly.
Mike: You know what? Uh, you guys go on ahead. I gotta talk to Sue about something.
Brad: Okay, but remember, Mr. Heck, I'm not just her friend. I'm here for you, too, 24/7. Tweet me. We can also Facebook, Skype, G-Chat. You want me to write this all down?
Mike: I'm good.

Quote from Sleepless in Orson

Brad: Sue, I've been here an hour, and you haven't even asked about me. How's my girlfriend in Canada? She's great. Thanks for asking. How come I'm not driving my Miata? The mechanic says it needs a makeover. Boo. Did I get the male lead in the Annie musical? You bet your bottom dollar I did.

Quote from The College Tour

Brad: Now, remember, when it comes to glitter, more is more. A-a-a-nd... Done!
Brick: That's fine, but it still doesn't go.
Brad: With what? Glitter is a neutral. It goes with everything.
Brick: No, I heard it has something to do with rubber bands and tension.
Brad: Okay, well, whenever I have a big job ahead of me, I just imagine the montage of what I would have done to finish it and work backwards. Like, first, we'd flick paint on each other and laugh. Then you'd hand me a hammer to use on the car, but then we reveal that I'm using it to crack walnuts. Then we'd get mad at each other. I'd blow my hair out of my eyes in frustration. [blows] And at some point, we're in front of a mirror, trying on different hats. Finally, we slump to the ground, back-to-back, exhausted after a job well done.
Brick: I'm a dead man.

Quote from The Waiting Game

Sue: So, h-how are you doing with the whole waiting thing? 'Cause I know that for some people, it's starting to get a little bit stressful.
Brad: Actually, I have some good news, but I wasn't gonna tell it if you're not in a place to hear it.
Sue: Oh, no, I'm in a place, a perfectly good place. Spill it.
Brad: Okay. I've decided, instead of going to college next year, I'm gonna do a year of service to my country.
Sue: You joined the army?
Brad: Oh, no. Although I always thought I'd look pretty cute in the costumes. I signed up for Americorps.
Sue: Oh, my God! That is so great! I love you. I love America. What could go better together than the two things I love?! What is Americorps?
Brad: It's kind of like the peace corps, but for America. Not sure what I'll be doing for them yet... Maybe teaching kids, maybe building houses. Hey, that could bring me and my dad closer. I'll ask him how a hammer works.

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