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‘Wheel of Pain’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

The Middle: Wheel of Pain

417. Wheel of Pain

Aired February 27, 2013

Axl, Sue and Brick band together when they accidentally break the family room window. As Frankie and Mike turn the screws on the kids to try get to the truth, they end up threatening to take away Sue's "Sue-weet 16 Party". Meanwhile, Frankie needs to impress her no-nonsense dental assistant teacher, Mrs. Armwood (Jane Kaczmarek).

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: I've seen enough episodes of Castle to know that something is not right in this picture. The glass is evenly laid out. The rock is placed just so. It's all a little too neat.
Mike: Only in this house would broken glass all over the floor be considered neat.
Frankie: Hmm.


Quote from Frankie

Frankie: What the hell was that?
Mike: I don't know. What was in those little red tablets you gave 'em?
Frankie: First the window, now being civil and kind? Something's definitely up with them. I'm telling you, they're in cahoots.
Mike: Hmm. Maybe it's just a coincidence.
Frankie: Mm. There are no coincidences. Only clues.
Mike: Castle?
Frankie: It's a really good show, Mike. You should watch. [sighs] Well, don't worry. We'll get to the bottom of this.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Uh, hey. Friendly reminder only 10 more days till my Sweet 16, or as I like to call it, my "Sue-weet" 16. [laughs] That's ten days away from driving, two years away from voting, and five years away from having a glass of wine to take the edge off.

Quote from Brick

Axl: Okay. Yeah. This is good. Now look innocent. Let's get our stories straight. Sue!
Sue: Uh, we were just sitting on the couch relaxing, watching TV-
Axl: Brick!
Brick: When the Glossners viciously threw a rock threw our window.
Axl: Excellent. [chuckles]
Brick: [whispers] I'm lying.

Quote from Sue

Frankie: I have pizza... for the rest of your lives.
Axl: Thank havens you're home. We were just sitting here watching TV, when this rock came crashing through the window.
Frankie: What? Was anyone hurt? [the kids shake their heads] Who would do something like that?
Sue: We looked outside, and we saw the Glossners running away. One of them was wearing a green shirt, and the other had a hole in his jeans... [Axl coughs] and so on and so forth and what have you.
Mike: You sure it was the Glossners?
Brick: Definitely. I-I heard them laughing. [slurps]
Mike: I don't believe this.
Sue: Why? It's all very believable.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Okay, then. Time to play. Mike, why don't you tell us the categories?
Mike: Thanks, Frankie. We have "8 P.M. curfew"... "No reading"... And "no birthday party."
Axl: Ooh. I hope I get "no reading." Come on, "no reading." Whoo!
Frankie: That's not how the wheel of pain works, Axl. "No reading" would be Brick's punishment should the wheel land on it. Your punishment would be "8 P.M. curfew."
Sue: So wait. If it lands on "no birthday party," that means I lose my "Sue-weet 16"?
Frankie: See? Sue gets it.
Sue: No. It only happens once in a person's life. That's so unfair.
Frankie: Everyone has the same 1-in-3 chance to get punished, Sue. But again, we don't have to spin at all, if someone comes forward. No? Okay. Well, Mike, let 'er rip.
Mike: Round and round and round she goes. Where she stops, nobody knows. No birthday party.
Sue: Oh, my God!

Quote from Axl

Axl: Okay. Now, uh, sprinkle the glass around so it looks like the rock came from outside.
Brick: Ow! How come you don't have to touch any glass?
Axl: 'Cause I got fingerprinted for the missing child program back when Mom and Dad still cared.

Quote from Brick

Axl: You guys never learned how to lie. Clearly, our public schools are failing us. Brick, the first rule of lying don't say you're lying.
Brick: I'm not trying to do it. It-- it just happens.
Axl: Well, try this: after you lie, add something true to the end of the lie, that way you'll trick your brain into thinking you're not lying.
Brick: Okay. The Glossners threw a rock through our window, and... it's dark outside. [Brick is silent for a moment]
Axl: Yes!
Brick: [whispers] The first part is a lie.
Axl: We'll work on that.

Quote from Ashley

Ashley: Hi, Axl. Prom's in two months.
Axl: Yeah. [chuckles] Um, you know I'm dating Cassidy, right? So... probably taking her.
Ashley: Oh. Cassidy seems really nice. Can you get me a strand of her hair?

Quote from Sue

Sue: You guys are obviously so mad at each other, and you're probably gonna get a divorce, and it'll be all my fault.
Mike: No, Sue, it's not your fault, 'cause-
Sue: Wait. It's not my fault. It's all our faults. We did it. We're the ones who broke the window.
Brick: That's not true. She's lying. [whispers] I'm lying.
Sue: No. I am not taking the fall for you guys anymore. We all broke the window, and we blamed the Glossners, and we lied. And we lied.
Frankie: [v.o.] So there it was the confession I'd been waiting for, but it wasn't quite as satisfying as I'd hoped.
Sue: I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry for everything. This was supposed to be my Sweet 16, and it's not sweet at all. It's sour. This is a Sour 16.
Frankie: No, Sue, wait. Your dad and I aren't fighting. We just made it up so you could have your party.
Sue: So you're not getting a divorce?
Mike: Not today.
Sue: [exhales] Really? Then this truly is the sweetest Sweet 16 ever. Because first it was sweet, and then it was sour, and now it's sweet again, which, when you think about it, only makes it even sweeter.

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