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‘Film, Friends and Fruit Pies’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: Film, Friends and Fruit Pies

714. Film, Friends and Fruit Pies

Aired February 10, 2016

Brick becomes a demanding director when he casts Cindy and Troy in a Knots Landing recreation for film class. When Sue and and her new roommate Lexie decorate their dorm room, Sue realizes they come from different financial backgrounds. Axl is stressed out when his boss, Jack Kershaw (Alan Ruck), befriends him and admits the company is in bad shape. Meanwhile, Frankie and Mike try to figure out which appliance a small piece of plastic came from.

Quote from Mike

Mike: Sue, you got to come clean. You're too young to be in debt. It's different for us. We have a long-range financial plan where we die before we have to pay anybody off. But you don't have that cushion.

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Quote from Sue

Mike: Hang on a sec. Where's all this money coming from?
Sue: Well, I've been using my Spudsy's money, and I popped all the quarters out of my 50 states collector's book, and I've been donating plasma. I'm not exactly sure what plasma is, and I don't know if you need it, but, from the way I've been feeling, I'm guessing you do.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Can you sign this form saying you take full responsibility for the school camera, editing equipment, the sound equipment, and lighting packet while it's in my possession?
Frankie: No, we will not.
Brick: Well, then I'll have to do that signature Axl taught me, 'cause I really need it for this project I'm doing for film class. Oh, heads up... I'm working on a shoestring budget, so I'm gonna be shooting it entirely in the house.
Mike: A horror movie, is it?
Brick: Well, the assignment is to take an important piece of film history and interpret it as our own. I'm thinking either Battleship Potemkin or Knots Landing. I love Knots Landing. I binge-watched all 14 seasons when we inherited that box of Aunt Edie's old tapes. Now, I know what you're thinking... Sure, Battleship Potemkin was named the greatest film of all time, but Knots Landing just has the undefinable "it." Plus it's one of the few true historical records we have of the 1980s.
Frankie: The '80s weren't that long ago, Brick.
Mike: It was 30-some years ago.
Frankie: Holy crap.
Brick: Well, I better get on it. I'll be in Sue's room, scouting locations. Also, I'm still on the fence, but the episode I'm looking at may require a small car explosion.

Quote from Mike

Mike: See, this is why you don't have rich friends. Never friend up. You always want to friend down. If you friend up, eventually, you got to come back to your crappy life, and it just feels crappier. If you friend down, when you come home to this, doesn't feel so bad.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Don't listen to your dad. There's nothing wrong with having a rich friend. I had a friend in college, Bonnie Edwards. Her dad owned a Spencer's Gifts. She paid for everything.
Sue: And are you guys still friends?
Frankie: No. She thought I was a sponge, and it eventually tore us apart. But I got to go to her lake house and learn how to water-ski.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Oh, hey, Lexie, have you seen my shampoo?
Lexie: Oh, I got us new matching shower caddies, and when I put your bottle in it, there was hardly any left, so I threw it out.
Sue: What? Wait, no. Why would you throw it out without asking me?
Lexie: Did I do something wrong? Oh, my God. Was it one of those bottles with the fake bottom where you hide all your expensive jewelry?
Sue: What? No. No, no, no, no. Lexie, it was just shampoo. But I use my shampoo till it's gone, and then I fill it up with water and I shake that up, and I use that till it's gone. I cut open my toothpaste tubes and scrape out the last bits. I smush together all my soap slivers till it becomes one big Franken-soap. Do you see where I'm going with all this? I'm poor, Lexie! [sighs] I'm poor.

Quote from Brick

Brick: And... action!
Cindy: I, uh, just got off the phone with Munson. He tells me you and Kenny had quite a scene.
Troy: Yeah.
Brick: Cut! Cut, cut. Cindy, do you not get what your intention is? You just got off the phone with Munson. Munson! This guy here could blow the whole deal. And, Troy, I'm seeing the acting all over the place. This is Knots Landing. Let's keep it real. Didn't you people watch the 14 years of episodes I gave you? Do you even own a Betamax?! Again from the top.

Quote from Sue

Mike: Wait, hang on. How much are you into this girl for?
Sue: Well, I already paid her $150.
Mike: $150?!
Sue: Uh-huh. And get this... she said it was only $150. Like when I say something is only a dollar.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Can you tell me what this is I just stepped on in the carpet?
Mike: Um... I don't know. It goes to something.
Frankie: Thanks, Inspector. Case solved.
Mike: Maybe it goes to the bottom of the blender?
Frankie: Yeah. Nope. Ooh. Maybe it's that knob to the clock on the stove?
Mike: No. Is it that thing from the other time?
Frankie: Mm, might be. I'd hate to think there were two of them.
Mike: Remember when we used to talk about movies and politics?
Frankie: Mm.

Quote from Axl

Axl: Well, the Ax-man is rockin' it on all cylinders. My boss loves me.
Frankie: I thought you said he hated you.
Axl: He did. But now apparently I'm charming, charismatic... which I already knew, but I've never been told by somebody in a suit before. And get this... he says I'm going places.
Mike: Like to your own place, where you pay for things?
Axl: Ha! You know where I don't pay for things? Fountains. That's right. Jack took me to Fountains, and I got to eat anything I wanted. He even let me order two cokes.
Frankie: You had lunch at Fountains? I chased a hard-boiled egg across the carpet.
Axl: Jack says I'm trustworthy. Says I got an authenticity the spineless toadies around him lack. That's right... Jack told me to call him Jack, so Jack he shall be called.

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