Frankie: I can't live like this anymore!
Brick: [imitating Rod Serling] Meet Frankie Heck... a normal housewife in a normal town in the normal state of Indiana. But on this Halloween, she's about to find out that things are anything but normal.
Mike: Okay, Brick, we get it. You're Rod Serling from The Twilight Zone.
Brick: [normal voice] Not even close. I'm Rod Serling from Night Gallery. Less popular, but in my opinion, more nuanced.
Mike: Well, whoever you are, be him somewhere else.

Brick: I'm sorry to bother you, but I really need to know something. How old was your husband when he died?
Cynthia: Oh, my husband's not dead. When I said he was gone, I meant he's at a conference in Sweden. He's the world's foremost authority on fonts.
Brick: I am? I mean, he is?!
Mike: Thanks very much. Glad your husband's not dead.
Brick: Uh, h-hold on. I have to ask you one more thing. Have you and your husband ever "done it"?
Cynthia: Well, we do have four beautiful children. [door closes]
Brick: Yes! Yes! Did you hear that, Dad? Four times. That's one more than you and Mom.
Mike: Congratulations, Brick. Future you is quite the ladies' man.

Brick: [v.o.] [imitating Rod Serling] Under the light of a full moon, a midwest housewife undergoes a frightening transformation, and the monster becomes the monstee. Or are we all just one egg away from being a Glossner?

Brick: Thanks for taking me tonight, Dad.
Mike: Drink it in, 'cause this is the last time I'm taking you trick-or-treating.
Brick: You never know. Next year, I might be younger.
Mike: [chuckles] Don't make too much out of what happened tonight, Brick. There's a lot of weird coincidences in the world. You can't overthink it.
Brick: [imitating Rod Serling] [v.o.] A father and a son on Halloween night... One determined not to see the future, one destined to know it. Was it time travel or just the fevered imaginings of a boy hopped up on too much candy? Orson, Indiana. A sleepy, little town where ordinary rules the day, or a dimension where death lurks in the shadows?
[Brick gasps as he opens the door to someone in a Grim Reaper costume]
Cindy: Hi, Brick. I've been waiting here all night. Do you have my candy?
Brick: Mm-hmm.
Cindy: Good. It's all there. Well, see you tomorrow.
Brick: [v.o.] That's a question that can only be answered in The Twilight Zone.
Frankie: Brick, seriously. Halloween was five days ago. You got to let this go.
Brick: I know. I want to. It's just such a nice way to frame our stories.

Brick: [imitating Rod Serling] An ordinary boy in Anytown, USA, a place where people dress up and knock on doors, asking for candy.
Mike: Brick! Just say, "trick-or-treat." Nobody knows who you are.
Woman: Oh, I get it. You're Rod Serling from The Twilight Zone.
Brick: [normal voice] No, I'm Rod Serling from "Night..." [sighs] Yes, Twilight Zone.

Frankie: We got to do something about this.
Mike: About what?
Frankie: Uh, this, Mike. Look at this place. I am tired of being the den mother of Phi Piggy Piggy.
Mike: Hmm. I guess it's not bugging me so much.
Frankie: Of course it's not bugging you. You're yucking it up with the boys in the sports bar formerly known as my family room. This is not fair. Imagine if there were three college girls living in here.
Mike: Give me a sec. [Frankie sighs] Got it. Go. What are we supposed to do? They got evicted from their house. They got no place to go.
Frankie: I mean, obviously I'm fine with my own kid living here... but these guys are eating us out of house and home. And this morning, I spent 10 minutes with a broom, trying to shoo something out of the bathtub until I realized it was a hair ball.

Mike: All right. Well, if it's really bothering you, you should talk to them.
Frankie: Me? Why do I have to be the one to do the talking? I don't want to be the big, mean mom killing all their fun. This has to come from the two of us.
Mike: Fine. Okay. I'll take care of it. Axl, hey, listen, uh, we got to talk about the current housing situation. Your Mom thinks it's time for you guys to leave.
Frankie: Mike!
Mike: What?
Frankie: "Your Mom thinks"? I don't need an interpreter. I could've done that myself. Your Dad thinks, too, Axl.
What your Dad called you in here to tell you is what we both think. [sighs]
Mike: Well, you're really the one with the issue.
Frankie: It's not my issue. We both have the issue. It's both of our issue that you were supposed to express to our son on behalf of both of us.
Mike: Sorry. It's not just her. [sighs] We are both in agreement that things have hit a breaking point for your mom.

Sue: Boo!
Frankie: Sue?
Sue: Surprise!
Frankie: What are you doing here? Oh, I've missed you so much. Oh, so are you staying over? Please stay over. Oh, wait. It's your first college Halloween. You've probably got parties to get back to.
Sue: Actually, I tried to plan this non-drinking Halloween bash, but since the only names on the sign-up sheet were "Yeah, right," and "Nerd," I decided to ride out the night with you guys.
Frankie: Oh, honey. This is gonna be so much fun. Hey, why don't we put the fire pit in the driveway and hand out candy? I heard Kelly Ripa said she did that with her daughter once, and I always wanted us to do it, but then I forgot.

Frankie: Anyway, I am going to need you, Mike, to take Brick trick-or-treating.
Mike: Aw, come on. Kenny got us the football package. Aren't you getting a little old for trick-or-treating, anyway?
Brick: Actually, I'm just going to get candy for Cindy. She gave me a whole list. Most of it's name brand, and she won't accept anything fun size, so you're gonna have to drive me to Orson Heights.
Mike: [groans] I'm watching three TVs here, Frankie. I'm like Elvis.
Frankie: [scoffs] You know, if things had gone down differently in the kitchen, we might've been able to work something out. Yeah, you knew I was gonna get back at you. You just didn't think it would happen this quick.
Hutch: It's cool. Kenny can record the games for you. Can't you, Kenny? [Kenny gives a thumbs up]
Frankie: [o.s.] Thanks, Kenny!
Mike: Yeah. Thanks, Kenny.

Frankie: Ooh, trick-or-treaters already. [opens door] Oh, Rita. [chuckles] Hey, everybody, it's Rita Glossner. Hi, Rita.
Rita Glossner: You seen my boy?
Frankie: Which one?
Rita Glossner: What are you saying?
Frankie: Just that you have more than one boy.
Rita Glossner: Yeah, I know that. I don't need you judging me.