Frankie: Hey, Brick, let's go.
Brick: I'm ready.
Mike: Wow, look at you... All wearing a skirt and everything. Who you supposed to be?
Aunt Edie: He's Shirley Temple.
Brick: You don't recognize me? From history? Okay. I'll give you a hint. I died from bayonet wounds in the Great War. [Scottish accent] I'm Sergeant Charles MacKenzie, the Scottish World War I hero. Look, I don't expect a lot of adults to get it.
Mike: I don't think a lot of kids are gonna get it either.

Sue: The junior high got permission to move the Halloween dance to nighttime! Sorry, Brick. Guess you're on your own this year.
Brick: Yes! Finally.
Frankie: [v.o.] For years, Sue had dragged poor brick around as part of her Halloween costume.
[montage:]
Sue and Brick: [dressed as a dog and fire hydrant] Trick or treat!
Sue and Brick: [dressed as an ice hockey player and puck] Trick or treat!
Sue and Brick: [dressed as a chicken and an egg] Trick or treat!
[present:]
Sue: Well, excuse me for wanting your childhood to be fun, unlike Axl ever did for me.

Axl: Ohh, if I could only go back in time and right all the wrongs I've ever done to you!
Sue: Well, what are your big Halloween plans? I bet they're not better than going to a dance... at night.
Axl: F.Y. Your information, we're going to a totally rockin' haunted house that Darrin heard about. It's run by people who work in a morgue, so there's real blood and actual body parts. They don't tweet us the address till Halloween night, 'cause they have to move it every year, or else the cops'll show up and shut it down. Seriously! It's illegally gross.

Frankie: Hey there. I picked you up a little somethin' at the mall.
Mike: Oh, yeah? Hmm. Interesting choice. Not sure if it's my color... And I already have so many fringy vests. No.
Frankie: Oh. Come on! You'll make such a cute hippie. Wait. Does it make any sense when you see it next to this? [off Mike's look] Fine. You don't want to be hippies. I'll take it back and get us something else. Who do you want to be?
Mike: I want to be Mike.
Frankie: How about Bonnie and Clyde?
Mike: Or Bonnie and Mike.
Frankie: Oh. Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein.
Mike: Or Mike and bride of Mike.
Frankie: You know, you're gonna be pretty embarrassed When you're the only one not dressed up.
Mike: No, I don't think I will.
Frankie: Oh, fine. Wear the same two boring plaid shirts until you die.
Mike: That's the plan.

Kids: Trick or treat!
Woman: Oh, look. A princess and a ghost and a... Catholic school girl.
Brick: [sighs] [Scottish accent] I am Sergeant Charles Stuart MacKenzie. I died in France. [normal voice] Bayonet injury. Is none of this ringing a bell?
Mike: Brick, just get the candy and move on! They're not gonna get it! [to Frankie] You couldn't talk him into Superman or something?
Frankie: Clearly I'm not good at talking anybody into doing anything they don't want to do.
Mike: Not when they don't want to look stupid.

Frankie: [v.o.] So Halloween finally arrived. Sue was off to the hayride, Axl was off to his body parts, and the aunts were prepped and ready.
Mike: Okay. One piece of candy per kid. Watch out for grabbers and repeaters. And I shouldn't have to say this, but if you run out of candy, you can't go giving out cigarettes and pills.
Aunt Edie: We've been giving out candy for years. We'll be fine. [eats a candy with the wrapper still on]

Frankie: [v.o.] Halloween night was in full swing, and it was nice to know that Aunt Edie and Aunt Ginny were holding down the fort.
Aunt Edie: [doorbell rings] [picks up the phone] Hello?

Frankie: Oh, Mike, I forgot to tell ya, I met the Norwoods, the new neighbors down the block. They invited us to drop by this weekend.
Mike: What for? They don't even know us.
Frankie: Well, it's not just us. I guess some other people are gonna be there.
Mike: What, like a party?
Frankie: Uh, I don't know. It's a get-together. Some people might call it a party.
Mike: So what day is this party?
Frankie: I think it's Sunday?
Mike: So it's a Halloween party.
Frankie: Yeah, I guess it is.
Mike: Yeah. I'm not dressing up.
Frankie: Mike, come on! We never get invited to Halloween parties anymore. It'll be fun.
Mike: It's ridiculous. A bunch of grown-ups running around telling each other how cute they are. Costumes on kids are cute. Costumes on adults are sad and a little creepy.

Carly: Sue, guess what? I have a date for the Halloween dance.
Sue: What? I didn't know it was a date dance.
Carly: Yeah. Now that it's at night, everyone's going as couples.
Sue: Oh.
Carly: But wait. Here's the best part. Natalie heard from Brian who heard from Stacey that Wylie Janousek likes you.
Sue: Really? Wylie Janousek?
Carly: Yep, and he's gonna ask you to the dance, and you're gonna get your first kiss, and it will be so romantic!
Sue: Oh, my god! [both squeal] Wait. Who's Wylie Janousek again? It doesn't matter. [both squeal]

Wylie: Sue, uh, hi.
Sue: Hi, Wylie.
Wylie: Yeah. Listen. I don't know if you've heard anything, but people have been saying that, you know, I like you.
Sue: Oh? I hadn't heard anything.
Wylie: Well, it's just sorta out there, and I just, you know, I want you to know... I don't.
Sue: Oh. Oh, okay. Thank you for clearing that up, even though I hadn't heard it. You can't ever have too much information. Thank you. Thank you so much! [sobs in her locker]