Frankie: Well, good news. I got hired as an old wife down at Heritage Village. Minimum wage and all the fresh eggs I can carry.
Mike: Okay.
Frankie: Come on, Mike. You froze me out last night. You froze me out this morning. We're not rich enough to get a divorce, so we're gonna have to have a fight.
Mike: What do you want me to say?
Frankie: I don't know. Whatever you want. You say I was stupid, I'll say you're right. You say, "Who the hell signs a credit card slip without looking at it?" I'll say, "I know. I thought it was 20 bucks." "Yeah, that's not the point, Frankie. $20 is too much to pay for 3 ounces of some stupid eye cream that we don't need." "You don't think I know that? They got me at a weak moment. I was tired." "Yeah, when aren't you tired?" "Oh, that is low. I bought it to look good for you." "Baloney! You bought it for yourself." "I said I was sorry, Mike." "Yeah, well, 'sorry' isn't gonna fix it." "Stop yelling at me!"
Mike: I think I've said all that needs to be said.

Mike: What you doing?
Frankie: What does it look like I'm doin? I'm rocking a piece of our grandchild.
Mike: Hey, listen, uh, sorry I hung up, but, uh, Bob got back on the truck...
Frankie: You know, Mike, whatever. I've been trying to talk to you all week, and you just froze me out, and now I'm just too tired. I am selling cars, I'm dyeing wool... Obadiah wants me to take a job as a schoolteacher, because there's a drought, and the corn isn't gonna save us this year. Even in my second job, I have to get another job! I have two lives in two centuries, and they both suck. Would you rock the head?
Mike: What?
Frankie: I'm trying to stop this. I can't find the sensor. I'm rocking the torso. Please just rock the head. I mean, I thought that if I got a second job, you would see how sorry I was and you would forgive me. But no, I make a mistake, and it doesn't matter what I say or what I do, you want to stay mad, so go ahead and stay mad at me!

Mike: I'm not mad you made a mistake. I'm mad because we can't afford to make a mistake.
Frankie: What?
Mike: You think I like it that 200 bucks sends us over the edge? Or that at this point in our lives, we gotta have four jobs just to stay poor?
Frankie: It does suck when you say it like that.
Mike: I mean, damn it, we should have some kind of cushion so we can make a mistake every once in a while. Or at least fix the kitchen table. Didn't we have plans for this place? Instead, here we are, with the same crappy carpet and the busted garbage disposal. The only room we've redone is Sue's. [baby doll part vibrates] Oh, there it goes again.
Frankie: Oh, keep walking. My half likes the walking.
Mike: I guess I just hoped we'd be farther along at this point. That's all.

Frankie: Axl, your backpack is crying.
Axl: Ugh! Again? I gotta take care of this stupid baby thing for a week for health class. They said they'd teach us about Sex Ed. What do babies have to do with sex?
Frankie: They ruin it.

Sue: Whoa! $200?! Mom, you paid $200 for this?
Frankie: No, no, no. $20. [whispers] But you know what? Don't tell your dad.
Sue: Unh-unh. I'm pretty sure that says "$200." Look at the two little zeros there.
Frankie: Are you serious? [gasps] Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Sue: Are you okay? Your face is starting to look really tight now.
Frankie: No! I thought it was $20. I didn't look at the credit card receipt because I was in too much of a rush. Okay, scoop it back in. Scoop it back in. Don't let it absorb.
Sue: Oh, no! Are we gonna lose the house?

Brick: Okay, I've got a screwdriver so we can reach the piece, honey 'cause it's sticky, and an egg 'cause mom wants me to eat more protein.
Sue: Great! Give me the screwdriver. Oh, I think I feel it. Yeah, I think I... [Sue drops the screwdriver in the hole] Oh, no.
Brick: Sue! We have to get that back! Axl was using it! Can you see it? [Brick drops the egg in the hole] Uh-oh.
Sue: Brick, are you kidding me? You dropped the egg?!
Brick: You dropped the screwdriver!
Sue: Screwdrivers don't smell! They're gonna find us out! It's a telltale egg!

Frankie: [v.o.] How did I get here? No, I didn't remarry, and no, my kitchen appliances did not give out at once. I guess it all started about a week ago...
Bob: You sure you don't want to wait for the bathroom?
Frankie: Yeah. No time. I'm already late for that school thing. Okay, how do I look? [Bob goes to speak] Okay.
Wait a minute. I think got some lipstick smushed in the bottom of my bag. Now?
Bob: What else you got in there?
Frankie: [v.o.] He was right. I looked like hell. I knew what I had to do. Now you might think pretending to buy makeup so you can use all the free testers is dishonest, but I prefer the term "resourceful."

Sales Woman: You know, if you like that lip gloss, you're gonna love this new eye cream we have on sale. Have you tried it? It smoothes and tightens.
Frankie: Look, let me stop you right there. I'm in sales, too, so I know all the tricks. Don't bother.
Sales Woman: Okay, well, I just thought you might like it. Refreshes the aging areas around the eyes and makes you look less tired.
Frankie: Less tired? Really? Mm. Wow. I do look less tired.
Frankie: [v.o.] Yikes. 20 bucks for this tiny jar? But if I look less tired, who knows, maybe I could save money on coffee.
Frankie: I'll take it. Oh. Oh, and do you, by chance, have any free lipstick samples in... this color?

Frankie: [v.o.] The next day I was still feeling pretty good about treating myself. My eyes looked bigger, and the shape of the toaster helped.

Axl: Yeah, well, there's some computer chip that keeps track of its mood, how much it cries over the next week, how well I take care of it. It's supposed to teach me responsibility. Okay. I'm gonna go shoot some hoops with the guys. Later. Whoo.
Mike: Whoa. No, you're not allowed to have a baby and then go shoot hoops. I tried.