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‘Halloween V’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: Halloween V

605. Halloween V

Aired October 29, 2014

Brick decides he doesn't want to go trick-or-treating this Halloween and instead invites his friend Cindy over to hang with him. Sue tries to raise money for her college fund by hosting a screening of It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown in a pumpkin patch. Meanwhile, Axl goes to the library on Halloween night to write a paper that's due the next day.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Hey, have you figured out what you're gonna be for Halloween yet? You know, it's almost here, and I don't want to be scrambling around at the last minute looking for a costume for you. You can't be paper towel man for a third time.
Brick: Yeah... actually, I decided I'm not gonna go trick-or-treating this year.
Frankie: What?
Brick: I don't know. I think I'm getting a little old for that.
Frankie: Aw. You're not going trick-or-treating? Aw. Mike, he's not going trick-or-treating.
Mike: Good. You hate trick-or-treating.
Frankie: Yeah, but if I'd known last year was gonna be the last time, I would've made sure to enjoy it.
Mike: You didn't even take him out last year. And the year before that, didn't Nancy Donahue take him?
Frankie: Whatever time I took him out, whenever it was, I wish I'd known that was gonna be it, okay?

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Quote from Axl

Axl: It's not my fault. Professor Hanawalt is so lame. Our paper's due Halloween night. Who does that?
Mike: Well, how long you known about this?
Axl: He sprung it on us like a month ago.
Mike: Axl, it's not gonna get done if you're sitting here. You know what you do? You drive to campus, go to the library, look at the card catalog, you check out a book on the subject...
Frankie: I think what your grandpa here is saying is that you need to go to a place where there's not a lot of distractions, and the library is not a bad place to do that.
Axl: Ugh! I don't like the library. It's quiet, it's boring, and I don't know where it is.

Quote from Axl

Axl: Ooh! Whoa. [dial tone] God, how can they do this?! Uh... Ooh. "Operator." [dial turns] [ringing] Oh, my God. This is taking forever.
Female Voice: [v.o.] This is the East Indiana State University operator system.
Axl: Yes! [chuckling] Yes!
Female Voice: [v.o.] If you'd like to dial out, please press "1." To reach campus security, please press "2."
Axl: [chuckles] I would very much like to do both of these things, but there's no buttons! It's just some weird wheely thing. Oh! This phone is from The Flintstones! [grunts] Help! Help!

Quote from Cindy

Mike: Happy Halloween. Oh, hey. Look at you. You're a... Safari girl.
Cindy: I'm not dressed up. I just like it.
Mike: You must be Brick's friend.
Frankie: Hi, Cindy. Come on in.
Brick: Hi, Cindy. Whoop!
Cindy: I came at 7:00. Actually, I came at 6:53, but I stood in the bushes till 7:00.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: So, what do your parents do?
Cindy: I don't know.
Frankie: That's fine. You don't need to know that. You're just a kid. Hey, are you hungry? Can I get you something? A snack?
Cindy: I'll take some shrimp.
Frankie: Well... We might have just run out.
Cindy: Then nothing.

Quote from Mike

Frankie: You need to go get shrimp.
Mike: Shrimp?
Frankie: Yes... shrimp. Cindy's hungry, and the only thing she wants is shrimp.
Mike: We don't even eat shrimp. We're gonna go out and get some stranger shrimp?
Frankie: She's not some stranger, Mike. She's a girl who likes our son.
Mike: I'm not getting shrimp.
Frankie: [scoffs] Fine. Then I will get the shrimp, and you go in there and talk to her. Her name is Cindy. She has an older sister. She doesn't know what her parents do...
Mike: I'll get the shrimp.

Quote from Axl

Axl: [the lights come on] Hey! [laughs] All right. I know I kind of freaked out back there, but just so you know... [chuckles] I'm not that guy. I haven't needed a night-light in, like, five years, so, yeah... not scared of anything, really. [chuckles] [sighs] I think I'm just not used to being alone. I usually have my family or friends around. I'm a super-popular guy. I mean, I don't know if feather salesmen were popular in your time. I assume that's what you are... a feather salesman. But yeah, spending time alone is good, right? I mean, you're alone with your thoughts, so... What are my thoughts? [chuckles] What... Are... [snaps fingers] My thoughts? Um... Been thinking a lot about college lately. Uh... [clears throat] Well... More about what happens when college is over. 'Cause, see, I'm a business major now, and I don't even really know what that means. Uh, am I gonna be a businessman? Am I gonna go on business trips with my briefcase and visit different branches of my business? Or will I be one of those guys who owns some kind of outdoor business and visits jobsites in a cool windbreaker? I just think maybe if I knew what I'd be wearing, I could work backwards from there, 'cause no one is telling me what I should do. [chuckles] No one. I mean, your whole life, people are telling you, "Next year, you're gonna go to kindergarten, then you're going to high school, then you're going to college," and then, bam! People stop telling you what you're supposed to do, and you're supposed to just figure it out. And all I know is, my dad still ties my ties! How am I supposed to be a businessman if I can't even tie my own ties? [chuckling] It's... ugh. [sighs] The truth is, Lebron... I'm not sure my awesomeness is gonna translate into the real world. Maybe I... peaked? [exhales sharply] I just... I don't know anything about my future, and when I think about that... [sighs] ... I'm scared, man. I'm really scared.

Quote from Frankie

Axl: Ugh! What are you even doing down there? You're all up in my space, as per uzhe.
Frankie: I'm looking for the Halloween candy I bought last March when it was cheaper. I hid it from myself so I wouldn't eat it.
Axl: Okay, every word of that was really sad.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Okay, here it is, people... My Sue-mometer. I was feeling kind of stressed about how much money I'm gonna need for college, so I thought this would make me feel better.
Mike: Sure.
Sue: Okay, I know it looks kind of low, but this only shows my Disney-jar money and my Spudsy money. I haven't even colored in my Optimist Scholarship money. Yet. [Sue draws the thinnest of line] Maybe if I use thicker markers... Oh, God. I am starting to feel kind of overwhelmed.
Mike: You and me both, pal. You and me, both.

Quote from Axl

Mike: What are you doing on my couch?
Axl: Studying, obviously. I have a huge history paper due.
Mike: So you're watching Pearl Harbor?
Axl: If given the choice to learn about stuff through Ben Affleck or not, I always choose Ben Affleck.
Mike: You're not learning history from this movie. You're not even learning movies from this movie.

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